


It Shouldn't Be Possible

by xWillemijnx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, Grangerdanger, M/M, Marauders, timetravel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-17 03:33:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 77,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21047597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xWillemijnx/pseuds/xWillemijnx
Summary: It shouldn't be possible. It shouldn't have happened. It.. can't have happened. And yet it did. I'm here, I'm eleven, I'm Hermione McGonagall.





	1. Every Story Starts Somewhere

Spells are flying everywhere, hitting professors, death eaters and students. It makes me feel dirty, the amount of children fighting. How could we have let this happen? An army of who knows how many death eaters, werewolves, giants and so many more creatures and beings against who?

Maybe 10 order members, 10 teachers and over a _hundred_ children. Eleven year old children are fighting a war they didn’t start, they’re _dying_ along with twelve, thirteen, fourteen year old's. And if not dying? They’re suffering. Bleeding out somewhere in a corner without anyone to help them because everyone is too damn busy saving themselves. It makes me feel sick to my stomach to think about my best friend, a seventeen year old boy, who is carrying everyone’s hope on his shoulders. How could we have let this happen? How could _Dumbledore_ have let this happen?!

I focus back on my targets, not even recognizing the two grown men standing in front of me. Both large and bulky with shaved heads and dirty beards, somewhere in the back of my mind I can acknowledge them being death eaters. My wand flicks through the air again, a train of spells raining out of it without stopping, never stopping. Because stopping isn't really an option, is it?

‘’_Bombarda Maxima_’’ I scream, pointing my wand at the wall behind the two men and watching is satisfaction how is blows up. Stone, dirt and the energy pulse of the explosion pushing the two men to the ground. It’s almost satisfying, I can _almost_ breathe when a scream so chilling echoes through the air that my heart nearly stops.

‘’HERMIONE!’’ My whole body flings itself around, taking steps to avoid from falling down as my eyes zoom in on the person that had called out. Watching how Ron falls to his knees, blood pouring down from his stomach and his eyes locked onto me. Those beautiful blue eyes and he opens his mouth to yell something at me, to say something but I never hear it. A spell hitting my back and dragging me to the ground just as fire explodes in my veins feeling entirely too familiar.

I can’t even scream. The pain too excruciating and the images of Bellatrix’s face hovering and laughing flashing in front of my eyes are too horrifying to think. The curse is too familiar, my body reacting too strongly in fear of the knowledge of how long it might continue this time. It might be even worse now, than it had been all those months ago.

The screams and explosions fade for the moment, only the pumping of my blood echoes in my ears and masks the high pitched screeching of Bellatrix’s laughter that my memory supplies. It feels like hours and hours and maybe even _days_ when finally, finally the spell is lifted. I can breathe again, and yet I still have to remind myself to do so. One, two, three… opening my eyes I find Ron’s blue ones for a split second before pushing myself up with an adrenaline that burns my muscles.

Turning around my wand is already shooting spells, I don’t even know exactly which ones but it doesn’t matter either. Because it is too late. A blue light so bright that it blinds me, bursts out of one wand and flames follow his example from the other wand. The blue and red mingle so perfectly it’s almost mesmerizing how it explodes through the air, carving their way towards me and pushing me back on the ground with such a ferocity a scream escapes my throat.

The Reductor curse explodes against my chest and I can actually feel my ribs cracking before the fire wraps around my limps, melting the skin from my chest. Another scream fills the air and I realise only belatedly it’s mine. My wand clatters from my hands as they reach up to clutch at my chest, attempting to maybe, maybe I can physically take the pain away. But nothing _works_, and I _can’t stop screaming_. The world around me slows down so much I can see the gravel shimmer in the light of the fire and the sun that’s attempting in vain to break through the dark clouds.

Then time starts playing again. Someone pressed a button and now the world is moving forwards so fast I can’t breathe, a scream in Ron’s voice once again echoes in my ears and I want to roll on my stomach to try and see him. Find him. But I can’t, my back glued to the stones and my limbs so heavy I can’t even attempt to lift them. On my left I can see the bricks I destroyed not even a few minutes ago suddenly move back into place and horror strikes me, _was there someone underneath it_?

Images of Fred’s limp body fill my vision and I gasp at the pain it makes me feel. Merlin I need to do something. Anything. I try to scream at the people around me, I try to turn around and see Ron, I try to reach for my wand. But it’s all in vain.

Staring at the sky I watch how the clouds disappear and the sun burns my skin before it’s raining and then it’s sunny again. My hands are still clutching my chest and finally I get my eyes to drag down and look at the thing I’ve unconsciously been trying to rip out. A golden circle with golden sand melted into my skin like a tiny sun inside out. I don’t recognize it, I don’t remember it being there. Everything hurts too much to think and the drum in my head is so loud I can’t even hear the screams and explosions any more.

The feeling of being vacuumed into a small tube overcomes me but still I can’t _move_. The entire world is too blurry and all I can focus on is my body, the only thing sharp in this strange storm of a world. But doing so my mind goes blank.

Because instead of finding my eighteen year old body I’m currently staring at a seven year old body, rapidly shrinking younger and younger and _younger_?!

My body’s becoming younger, _why_ am I getting younger?!?! Why is my body moving back in time?

Time.

Looking down at the circle burning in my chest realisation dawns like a cold bucket of water trickling down my spine, because fucking hell…

_Everyone piles out the room slowly, Harry glances at me worriedly and I try to smile encouragingly at him. I probably fail. _ _He’s wearing a uniform of Neville’s and is tugging at the sleeves that are too long for his arms nervously, my weak smile doing nothing to sooth his nerves. _

_'''It'll _ _be fine!’’ Ron mouths softly to him. And oh how I pray it would be. _

_Once everybody but me and Ron had left I can finally see the entire room clearly. There are mattresses spread on the ground with sleeping bags and dusty pillows gathered in messy piles on top of them. On the small spaces off floor that doesn’t have clothes or other items thrown about there are small white boxes with a large red plus shape on top. Medical boxes. They aren’t clean either. Bloody fingerprints cover the lids and bandages with bloody scissors and disinfection bottles pile around them in a chaotic manner. No potions, no magical medicine. Merlin, it’s awful. _

_‘_ _’Hermione?’’ Looking up I can’t even bring myself to smile, Ron doesn’t smile either though so I think that’s okay. He sits down next to me silently and I’m surprised because I hadn’t even noticed I sat down. After a while he wraps his arm around me and I pretty much melt into his embrace, even though we’re silent and it’s almost deafening, I finally feel like I can breathe again. _

_One by one the order sprinkles in and when everyone finally arrived we step over the bunks, clothes, medical boxes and so, so much more to get to the door. Ready to fight, even though I don’t quite feel ready yet. _

_I_ _’m about to go through the door also when a strange shimmer catches my eye, belonging to a necklace. Walking over to it I lift the necklace in surprise, it’s four golden circles connected at only two spots with an hourglass in the middle. I’d recognize this anywhere. And yet this one looks different, the runes are strange and the sand is gold instead of brown. There are even tiny diamond or crystals embedded in the outer circle. _

_‘’Hermione! Are you coming?’’ Ron’s head pokes through the door questioningly and I nod, ‘’yes, I’ll be right there.’’ Slipping the necklace on I frown, I’ll check it out later. The room only gives you what you want, who had wanted this? ‘’You okay?’’ Glancing at Ron I smile, albeit weakly, ‘’yea… I’m fine.’’ Glancing over my shoulder I watch the door fall closed and shimmer before disappearing altogether._

I had completely forgotten about the necklace afterwards when we ran in the Great Hall and all hell had broken loose. Focusing back on the golden circle I stare at it for a second before nearly jolting up when I realized I’m now aging again. An infant, now a toddler, changing into a pre-schooler. Shite, this needs to stop. _Right now_.

Looking around I will myself to see something, to stop the turning and to take deep breaths to steady myself. Touching into my apparition magic I try and concentrate on _destination_, wherever that is right now. Or rather.. shit I don’t even want to _think_ it. _When_ever.

When everything suddenly stops twirling and the vacuum sensation stops it feels like I’m thrown out of the straw and onto the ground. A groan escaping my lips as I stare at the sky with wide eyes. I can see again! Pushing myself up with too much strength I stumble forwards, I’m in the Great Hall. So though I’m still in the castle, I _did_ move a few rooms down. That’s the first thought that strikes me. The second is the missing bodies.

The Great Hall is completely empty besides the long tables for the houses and teachers. Looking up at the sky I see it’s dark outside, stars twinkling down at me happily. Did I go back a week? A month? Staring at the glowing candles hanging in the air I swallow, did I go back _more_ than a month? Snape never seemed like the sort of man to keep things like atmosphere candles around.

Turning around I’m about to head to the door when I freeze. The Great Hall isn’t empty after all. There’s two people standing in front of me and horror so cold grasps my heart I nearly fall back on the ground. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I raise my hand and I nearly start crying when I realise that I don’t have my fucking wand. ‘’No!!’’ The growl escapes my mouth, my mind is playing tricks on me. Where the _hell_ is my wand!? I fucking dropped it. I can’t believe I fucking dropped my wand. It doesn’t stop me from holding my hand out to them though, my palm turned towards them and the undoubtedly crazed expression on my face keeping them rooted to their spot.

‘’By Merlin’s beard’’ Minerva McGonagall whispers, she’s staring at me and I take a moment to study her. It can’t _really_ be her, the McGonagall I know has dark grey hair always up in a bun and eyes that are always calculating you sternly. _This_ McGonagall has black curly hair up in a ponytail, no wrinkles and no stern expression. Just shock and… worry? Growling at her I wordlessly warn her to stay the hell back. ‘’Well hello!’’ My eyes flick to the other person present.

The one that makes this situating so impossibly surreal. Albus freaking Dumbledore. It just can’t be possible, it just _can’t_ be. I would have had to go back in time _years_. It’s not, it shouldn’t be, it _can’t_ be possible.

But he’s definitely here. Standing in front of me, breathing and two twinkling blue eyes behind half moon glasses. Tall, mighty, confident with a beard that looked less long than I remembered and strikes of dark red in the grey.

‘’Don’t move,’’ I growl when I realize he’s going to step closer, ‘’don’t you dare.’’ Fucking hell I don’t even have my wand, what do they suppose I could do!? But they stay rooted to their spot, surprise flickering through their eyes and I feel like screaming. ‘’What’s the date?’’ My voice sounds like a scratch pole of a cat. ‘’What. Is. The. Date?’’ I repeat, blinking furiously to keep my tears back. ‘’3rd of May, 1971.’’

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, how?!

Dropping my hand I stumble back, I stumble so much I don’t even realize I’ve fallen until I’m sitting on the ground. My breathing coming in harsh short motions and my heart feels like it’s about to pound right out of my chest.

Slowly I raise my eyes again, shaking my head. ‘’No, no, no, no, no’’ I whisper, staring at my legs that are visibly shaking and covered with a layer of dirt, dark dried blood, a mixture of fresh blood that might be mine, might be someone else’s, and dust. Wincing I stare at the piece of stone sticking out of my thigh. Reaching for it I pull it out blindly, suddenly too aware of the pain it’s causing my body.

Pulling it out a rush of adrenaline shoots through my body and somehow I get myself back on my feet. My eyes narrowing on the people present I shake my head, this can’t _possibly_ be happening! Especially not to me, please Lord not to me.

Somehow I’m able to push past the two adults in the room and I find myself running through the halls blindly, only realizing what I was looking for when I reach the courtyard. I turn to the spot I remember Ron screaming my name and I stifle a sob, ‘’RON?!’’ I shout in desperation, running to it but other than his expression of despair floating in my memory there’s no sight of him.

Turning back I run to the bright, ‘’HARRY?!’’ No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!!! ‘’HARRY!?!?’’ Reaching the bridge my legs give out underneath me and I drop to my knees. My eyes glaring at the empty, empty, empty bridge.

‘’Please…’’ I’m not even entirely sure what I want. I need to get back. That’s what I want. I want to go back and I need to make sure we win. I _need_ to make sure Harry and Ron are okay!!!

‘’Miss’’ my adrenaline just disappears and it takes all the strength I have to turn around. ‘’Miss?’’ The voice repeats, it’s McGonagall.

Shaking my head I whimper softly, the dizziness and pain of every curse, every mental game and physical abuse finally catching up on me. The force of it so painful I get knocked back with a groan, my head hitting the stone I try to reach out to McGonagall but she’s too late. Staring up at the sky I watch in a haze how thunder strikes, a light crashing through the dark air before rain starts pouring down on us.

Closing my eyes I sigh, before opening them again with effort. It feels like I closed my eyes for a spell of a second, but opening them again I’m surprised to find myself in the hospital wing. A place that apparently won’t even change a little bit in the coming years.

‘’Good morning!’’ Looking up I feel my throat tighten. Madam Pomfrey doesn’t look at all how I remember her to be, this woman has blonde curly hair to her shoulders, a kind smile on a completely wrinkle less face, she’s young, _really_ young. Another woman appears at her side, an older lady. But I can’t seem to focus in on her, my eyes glued on Pomfrey’s light blue ones.

Suddenly I can feel everything around me disappear, except Pomfrey, her face the only still thing whilst everything else seemed to move at light speed. I can hear her speaking too, she’s asking me something, to which I can reply a hundred different answers and all this is shown to me in a split second, to which other answers are given, all leading to a different path, so many paths, it’s making my head hurt.

Feeling a hand on my shoulder shake me slightly I blink the strange images away, turning back to Pomfrey, ‘’oh uh… what?’’ I mumble, dazed. What the hell was that?

She glances at me with worry before glancing down at the potion in hand and right! Taking the potion I swallow it quickly, only hesitating a second if I could trust her. But this is a… the thought it painful and yet swallowing I stare at the empty potion bottle in my hand. This is a pre-war world. Here people have no reason yet to distrust anyone, I wonder how long it'll take for the paranoia to kick in. 

Looking back up I study the other lady that’s standing behind Pomfrey, she’s occupied writing something down and looks not even a little interested in me. This woman is definitely older, her hair is almost white and her face is covered with wrinkles and sun browned spots.

‘’Ah, miss…’’ Hearing Dumbledore’s voice I turn slightly to face him, letting the painless potion work its way through my body. Realizing that I’m not going to be answering Dumbledore continues calmly, ‘’I see you have awoken! Did you sleep well?’’ Swallowing I shrug, studying him silently.

Anger is bubbling in my veins and I’m trying to contain it but I can’t help it. He send Harry to his death. Maybe not directly, but if you think about it that’s even worse. He made it so that Harry would _want_ to sacrifice himself, and the thing is.. Knowing Harry and his hero-complex he would’ve done it either way. Dumbledore might’ve meant well, but knowing how much he knew without telling Harry because he thought he was too ‘young’? It makes me furious.

Because apparently letting children fight in a war they didn’t start was perfectly fine. Letting them _die_, was just dandy. Dumbledore might have his heart in a good place, and might always want the best for everyone. But I will _never_ allow him to control or manipulate me, nor anyone I care about. Not anymore.

‘’I do not believe that’s a good idea’’ Dumbledore whispers when he sees me push my blankets away in annoyance. But I don’t care, I _need_ to get out of here.

Glancing at Dumbledore I gasp softly, locking eyes with him everything once again disappears and I watch him. He’s talking to professor McGonagall, asking her about the conversation she had with me. Hundreds of different questions, possibilities flashing before me, her replies usually denying him answers. But with some question lines professor McGonagall caved, not knowing what else to do. They all lead to different choices, different paths. What’s going on?

‘’Miss!!’’ Shaking myself I focus back in on Dumbledore. Whom is looking at me with the strangest expression ever. ‘’What did you see?’’ He then simply asks. Staring at him I frown, trying to ignore the headache that is drumming in my head, should I reply honestly? Maybe I should just wait for my apparent conversation with professor- ‘’Ah Minerva, wonderful that you could make it!’’ Dumbledore broke through my thoughts. That answers that then.

‘’Of course, how is she?’’ McGonagall asks, passing Dumbledore with wide eyes to sit down in the chair next to my bed, she takes me in carefully, ‘’why are you not lying down and recovering?’’ She finally asks me, frowning slightly and I see the resemblance of the woman I knew in her face.

Careful concern with a sense of power and maturity. The knowledge she’s right about whatever she’s about to say clear in her expression. I can’t help but swallow and lie back down on the bed, pulling the covers up to my chin with a hiss, why is everything still hurting so bad?

Returning my eyes to McGonagall I watch her have a nonverbal conversation with Dumbledore. ‘’I’d like to talk to her alone’’ I suddenly state, I don’t even know why.

Looking at me carefully professor McGonagall nods slowly, ‘’alright, what can I help you with?’’ she then asks.

Looking pointedly at Dumbledore he disappeared behind the curtains. ‘’Can you please put some privacy charms up? Dumbledore might listen in’’ I ask, not taking my eyes off of the curtains before reaching for the glass of water I just now notice is standing next to me, my throat feels like sandpaper.

Reaching out for the glass had another effect though, it made me spot the bandages around my left arm and reminded me of the horrible scar underneath with a shock. Shuddering I pull my arm back, even though the bandage around my arm is clearly fresh and new, it already has red spots from where it’s bleeding the heaviest. Months have passed since Bellatrix did this to me, _months_, and still it bleeds. Nothing I’ve tried has worked yet.

Apparently neither has whatever Pomfrey tried.

After McGonagall had put up the privacy charms she turns to me with a kind smile, yet guarded look. Of course this is a pre-war time, people still trust. People still have hope, the people are _gullible_. Hope breeds eternal misery. ‘’I’m not sure if I introduced myself yet, Minerva McGonagall, call me Minerva.’’

Nodding I don’t return her kind smile, ‘’Hermione.’’ ‘’Very well Hermione, what is it exactly you need to tell me?’’

Where do I start? Frowning I shake my head, what the hell do I even tell her?

‘’I…’’ shaking my head I swallow, ‘’I don’t know.’’ Tears welling up in my eyes I nearly curse, I’m _not_ crying. ‘’Can you tell me where you’re from?’’ She’s talking to me like I’m a scared animal and though I want to be annoyed by it, it actually helps. Looking up her I nod, ‘’I’m from Richmond,’’ I answer, ‘’born and raised.’’

She nods with a small smile and I grimace, ‘’until I joined Hogwarts.’’ A flash of surprise moves over he face before she nods, ‘’is that so?’’ Nodding I somehow find myself smiling, ‘’I was sorted into Gryffindor, Hogwarts became my home.’’

When she doesn’t answer I take a deep breath, I know I’m not supposed to talk about the future to anyone. But I’ve gone back in time more than _twenty_ years, and if there wasn’t a device to go to the future in my time. How will I ever find out if there’s one now, without someone’s help? And if there’s anyone I _know_ I can trust 100% it’s McGonagall, Minerva.

‘’It was my home.. until I had to drop out. In the summer after my sixth year me and my best friends had to go on the run because Deatheaters had taken over the school. We spend a _year_ on the run, trying and…’’ laughing a dry fake laugh I shake my head, ‘’_succeeding_ in finding the means to kill Voldemort. We only had to do one more step and he would be killable, _one_ step. So we returned to Hogwarts to do so and the final step turned into the final battle.’’

For a moment I can’t breath and swallowing I close my eyes.

‘’The final battle was _horrible_’’ I whisper, ‘’students were dying _everywhere_, hundreds of them. And… and I don’t even know if we won because I got hit by a Reducto and another spell I didn't recognize that shattered my time turner and I’m pretty sure it brought me back in time but that isn’t possible right?! Not this far back!! _Tell me_ it’s not possible! It can’t be possible!’’

She doesn’t answer and I feel like crying, God I just want to cry. But damn it, no. Thinking about my time turner I swallow, do they even exist yet?

Staring at my hands I frown, ‘’and now I’m here. Something I need to be impossible, need to be unreal. Because I’ve been having _visions_ of… choices… people can make when I look into someone’s eyes. And this cannot be happening right now.’’ It has to be a dream. It just has to be.

I stare at her, locking eyes with her dark brown ones I feel myself slipping once again, every time I lock eyes with someone. Seeing all kinds off reactions flash before me I find myself scared, what if she reacts like many choices showed me? Even though many showed me her reacting calmly and understandingly, fear grabs my heart, what if I made the wrong decision? Is what I saw even a truth? Or a twisted way of me worrying?

‘’That is… quite a story Hermione… and though I do not see you as a liar. I do need to be sure you are speaking the truth’’ Minerva finally answers, a thoughtful and a stony expression on her face. ‘’Did you know me in your other time? Were we close?’’ Nodding I frown, I’d consider us to be at least considerably close. ‘’What then… hangs above my desk in my private study?’’ Staring at her I thought back to third year, the only time I was invited to her private study. Ironically she’s the one that had originally given me the time turner to use for my classes, which is why I even recognized the chain in the room of requirement in the first place. Is that the loop of time? Because she knew I’d go back in time?

‘’I do believe there wasn’t hanging anything above your desk, although, you did keep a painting of your brother next to it, on the wall that is.’’ I reply slowly, what if she changed it in those 26 years?

Frowning at me she nods, ‘’well done, I rarely ever invite someone to my private study, why did you go there?’’ ‘’In my third year.. I uh, I had picked too many classes so you gave me a time turner to follow them all.’’ Smiling with wonder she nods, ‘’you must have been an impeccable student if we trusted you with a... time turner? You said? Which I assume allows you to travel through time?’’ So they haven't been created yet. Grimacing I give her a quick nod. 

What now though? I’ve told her and she reacted like I hoped she would. Though now we need to think of something to do, should I… no I can never mess with time, it’s rule number one. Yet here I am, defying all rules of time. After all, going back to a time before you’re born is _impossible_. Or it should be.

‘’I do have another issue with your story though’’ she suddenly says softly, searching my face slightly. ‘’What?’’ Frowning I look up, nerves pooling in my stomach because her tone was not particularly one I like to hear. ‘’You’re eleven Hermione’’ she whispers.

Staring at her for a moment, I swallow, once, twice, three times before looking down at myself. I never had much of a chest but… fucking hell I might as well be a boy, or… fucking bloody hell!

‘’No way’’ I whisper. ‘’No. Way’’ but she’s right. I’m a _child_. A child.

I’m _definitely_ a child. ‘’Mirror’’ I gasp, looking around me and Minerva hands me one before I can ask again, staring at myself in the mirror my heart stops. I’m a child. My hair is frizzy and sticking every which way and my dark skin has no worry lines. But… my teeth… The spell Malfoy cast all those years ago and the fixing I’d done afterwards are still in effect. Of course all my other wounds are so I’m not sure why this surprises me so much. _Especially_ because my eyes definitely look different.

They’re not brown anymore. My dark brown eyes I’d inherited from my father are _gone_, instead they’re gold?!?! Gold. _Gold._ Not yellow or honey, but _gold_. Gold necklaces gold. Shit.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Blinking up at Minerva I… am I? No. No, God no. ‘’Yes. What do you recommend I do with Dumbledore? I do not trust him. He… he made some mistakes.’’ I put the mirror away and clench my fists, just focus on the matter at hand. Looks never have been very important to me. Who cares my eyes are a different colour and I’m suddenly a CHILD again?!

Frowning Minerva slowly shakes her head, ‘’I’m not sure actually. Knowing Albus he already has a hunch about your powers and if he does not yet, he soon will. So I advise telling him of that, he could help you with them. If you wish to keep your… travelling… to yourself, I think you should. Until you feel like you can trust him again, because, Hermione… The mistakes he’s made, he hasn’t made them yet.’’ Studying my face she frowns slightly, ‘’of course, your spirit should be of legal age which means you are in full capability to make your own decisions.’’

She’s right… of course she’s right. But it’s not exactly the mistakes I have a problem with. ‘’Thank you, I know he hasn’t made the mistakes yet. The problem I have is more with the manner he deals with things, I cannot agree with that. He’s let me and a lot of people I know… knew.. down.’’

It seems logical, he could help me, yes, he could, and it does seem the most logical step from here, but…

‘’Than with your help he might not make these mistakes again’’ Minerva offered and I grimace, ‘’the rules of time won’t allow me to professor, I mean Minerva, everything I do in this time is already written’’ I whisper. ‘’If the case counts that the rules of time are true, than how are you here Hermione?’’ she points out gently and she’s right of course.

But still…

I guess trusting Dumbledore with my visions is the first step, me being unable to look into people’s eyes truly wouldn’t be useful in any case.

Lifting the spells Minerva walks outside a few minutes later, returning shortly with Dumbledore. ‘’Hello, I apologize for being so rude before’’ I say, looking at him with a blush. I suppose I could’ve been a lot politer to the headmaster, no matter what he did in my time, he’s still the headmaster after all.

‘’I’m Hermione, I don’t exactly know how I arrived’’ I mumble, Minerva and I had decided to tell him about the visions, although we suspect he already knows because I had them in front of him and according to Minerva my eyes start glowing when I have them?

So many questions. And for some reason I don’t think achieving the answers will be simple…

**James POV  
**Falling down on my bed I groan loudly, today I would’ve gone to a Quidditch game with dad, but he cancelled, being stuck at work a_gain_. How could he possibly do this to me? His son! Standing up I walk to the window, outside the sun is shining and there isn’t any wind. Perfect quidditch weather! Scoffing again I return to my bed, grabbing my broom I decide to make the best of it, might as well enjoy this weather on my own then!

Running down the stairs I walk straight into mum. ‘’Oh hey, James! I was just coming up to find you’’ she exclaims with surprise, rolling my eyes I walk passed her. Of course she was, to tell me that dad can’t make it. ‘’Don’t worry about it mum, I heard you talk to dad in the fire, he can’t make it. Now, I’m going for flying for a bit because the weather is perfect’’ I growl.

Sighing deeply she, of course, blames herself. ‘’Sorry James, he’s just been really busy…’’ Rolling my eyes at her I nod, ‘’I know mum, it sucks but there’s nothing to do about it now is there?’’ That’s the excuse she always gave me, next time, she would promise, but there hasn’t been one in a while. Of course it’s not her fault though, she dislikes it as much as I do. I know that. But it still sucks…

‘’Don’t worry about it mum, we’ll go next time!’’ I exclaim, kissing her cheek before pushing past her and running outside. Damn it, the weather really _is_ perfect! Mounting my broom I speed away from the house, racing over the top of the trees in the garden.

My dad’s a business owner so I understand he’s busy with it, especially now he’s trying to retire. But he’s been trying to retire for two years now and I’ll be off to Hogwarts soon, what if we don’t ever get a chance to go to a game before I leave?!

Well I guess we’ll just have to go in the summer, that’s fine too. It really does suck I’m not allowed to take my broom with me to school, a whole year of not flying?! It sounds miserable! Grinning I dive down, though I guess I can always ‘borrow’ a broom from someone!

**Sirius POV  
**‘’Sirius!!!’’

‘’Yes mother?’’ Walking down the stairs slowly I eye my mother, carefully clearing my face of any emotion. She’s in a despicable mood, like always, though today seems to be worse than normal. And that never means anything good for me. ‘’Sirius, I need you to help Regulus pick out an outfit for the gathering this evening.’’ She orders curtly, her face stuck in the classic please-hit-me face. Many times I’ve been tempted, but I know better, damn it. ‘’Sirius?’’ She repeats, staring me down, I resist the urge to glare at her, a pinch in my back makes me jump up, ‘’stand straight boy’’ she hisses.

‘’Of course mother, is there any theme for the evening?’’ The question rolls out like a robot, I must have asked her this a thousand times. ‘’Don’t look so bored and keep your chin up, that’s it, don’t you look away. And yes, everyone is to go in black, you better make sure you look presentable, your brother also.’’ Nodding numbly I turn around, about to walk up the stairs when another spell hits my back, ‘’answer me’’ she growls. I swallow, that’ll bruise. ‘’Yes mother, I’ll make sure we look respectable’’ I answer, wincing when I hear the sarcasm in my voice. ‘’Don’t you use that tone with your mother’’ my father suddenly growls, I hadn’t even seen or heard him enter.

He’s standing in the door way, long expensive black coat and all. My mother smirks and I swallow, a tickle of fear running down my spine. ‘’I’m sorry father, it won’t happen again.’’ I whisper solemnly, he stares at me for a moment. Surely contemplating my punishment, which I know I deserve. I shouldn’t talk like that, it’s disrespectful and they take care of me. ‘’Go help your brother’’ he finally growls, ‘’and you best behave tonight.’’

Nodding I look up from the ground before his feet to his eyes, ‘’of course father.’’ Turning to my mother I nod with a tight smile, ‘’mother.’’ Fully turning my back to them again I walk back up the stairs quickly, careful to keep my back straight and chin high.

Upon entering Regulus’s bedroom I look at him with a soft chuckle, my heart rate finally slowing down. Regulus has obviously been reading a book about potions, or any other book, the entire day. He’s still in his pyjama’s even though it’s already 6 o’clock, our parents would kill him if they’d find out.

‘’Can I help you brother?’’ He asks upon spotting me and grinning I shrug, ‘’I need to help you pick out an outfit for tonight’s _gathering_.’’ Hearing a scoff from him I smile before falling down on his bed. ‘’Isn’t the theme black?’’ I hear him ask mockingly and when he spots my nod he huffs. ‘’You’d think I’d be able to figure things out no?’’ ‘’Ah yes brother, but you see, it is the fabric that counts!’’  
Hearing him laugh I sit back up, ‘’so, get your black robes out so I can remove myself from this book invested room’’ I tell him, looking around, there are literally books everywhere.

Rolling his eyes Regulus stands up, ‘’and, are you excited about Hogwarts?’’ He asks, walking to his closet. Shrugging I grimace, ‘’I guess so, not exactly looking forward to sitting in a dungeon with our cousins for seven years, though anything is better than living here with that wretched woman…’’ Sighing I stand up, joining him in front of his closet, ‘’though I do feel bad about leaving you with her.’’

‘’That wretched woman, happens to be our mother Sirius! And it’s okay, they leave me alone most of the time anyway’’ Rolling my eyes at his respond I nod, well I guess that’s true… I’m the one that’s never good enough and to be the heir of the family name anyways, ‘’I reckon they’ll start trying to get you to befriend the dear lady Goyle though, maybe even the lady Zabini?’’ I suggest, winking saucily at him.

Regulus isn’t amused, and doesn’t indulge me in a reply, so instead I pull out silky, expensive looking robes and grin, ‘’These ones, now I expect you to wear them with your diamond jewellery! Also, your silver purse will match perfectly, whilst also bringing out your eyes’’ I tell him, trying my best girly voice.

Laughing Regulus pushes the robes back in the closet, pulling out a different pair, still expensive looking but more manly. Nodding in thought I grin, ‘’perfect, now, I’m out of here!’’

I could practically hear Regulus roll his eyes as I made my way to the door, turning around last minute with a grimace. ‘’You can’t maybe just kill me now before we attend that horrible _gathering_?’’ Looking back at me with a sigh Regulus shrugs, ‘’No way, I’d have to survive it on my own otherwise.’’

Nodding slowly I sigh as well, ‘’may we suffer together’’ I declare with a tight smile. Regulus returning the same strained smile before disappearing in his bathroom.

Stepping out of his room I sigh when I hear mother call me again, Hogwarts can’t possibly come soon enough. And with that I walk down the stairs, stopping right before having to walk down I reach my back softly, my simple touch already causing me to wince.

‘’Sirius!!’’ Mother’s biting voice reaches me, ‘’come down here at once!’’ Stiffening I square my shoulders, take a deep breath and walk down stairs, a dungeon with my cousins really _is_ preferable to this hell.


	2. Impossible

**Hermione POV**  
It’s been three months since I’ve arrived… well it’s still the same place, but here. In a different time. And things are… good? They aren’t great, but I’m guessing things could be a lot worse too. Actually it’s not really guessing, I _know_ things could be a lot worse.

But things here are fine, Minerva has been visiting me pretty much every day. Which I was especially grateful for the first three weeks, when Poppy and Mary didn’t allow me to leave my bed. Mary is the other matron working here, she’s of old age though and will retire once the summer’s over. She’s an incredibly sweet lady, she’s been knitting me hats and gloves for the winter and it’s just the sweetest. But Minerva is the one here I’ve connected with most here, at first it was honestly a little strange to get to know her in such a different way I used to. No longer is she my teacher but a... friend? 

We have lunch every day and nine out of ten times also dinner, and she’s been helping me a lot with my visions. Visions we have not declared to be the future. However that annoys me. She’s been trying to get me to understand that this is the part of magic connected to emotions and soul, not something you can necessarily ‘control’. And to say it is going great would be a big fat lie. I don’t _do_ emotional magic, I do _facts_.

So facts I’ve been focusing on, spending my time in the library trying to get answers. Why do I now have the ‘sight’? How did I go back in time so far? What was the other spell the man cast on me, the fire spell? What did the runes on my necklace mean? The necklace that now, by the way, is a circle melted into my skin.

Mary tried everything to get it out, even tried to carve it out muggle way. But it won’t budge. The circle is probably going to be there for life, as well as the crystals that have shaped themselves into a triangle in the middle of the circle. She did heal my other wounds quite nicely though, the burns have disappeared and all the cuts have turned into thin white lines scarring pretty much my entire body. Only the one on my stomach is still ugly and red, and the one on my arm still hasn’t closed either.

Rubbing the circle through my shirt I sigh, I guess I’m going to have to get used to it.

‘’Hey!’’ Looking up I smile in surprise, glancing at the clock, ‘’hey! Is it already lunch time?’’ ‘’Yes it is, let’s go eat outside the weather is amazing.’’ Nodding I close my book, following Minerva outside.

Her help has been amazing, not in the sense of getting control over my ‘sight’. But I have been able to build a mental wall around the magic allowing me to ‘see’, the downside to this is though that I’m unable to access any of my magic. If my walls are up I’m basically a muggle, but at least I can look people in the eye without getting a headache and seeing their immediate decisions...

So we’ve been trying to gain more control over the wall, hopefully allowing the rest of my magic to be able to pass it. Something that has proved to me more difficult that it might sound, but I’m going to have to find a way. Because next week Hogwarts starts again and I will definitely want to be starting classes again, I will _not_ be sitting around all day ‘meditating’.

Leaving the school also isn’t an option because Albus has _forbidden_ me to leave the grounds, can you believe that?! Apparently it’s too dangerous, even though the war hasn’t started yet and absolutely nobody knows I exist. But you know…

On a completely other _positive _note, the nutrition potions Mary has been feeding me every day have done a wonderful job. Three months of four potions every morning _and_ evening, and I can finally look in the mirror and not easily count my ribs! It’s wonderful progress really! All we now have to figure out is how to close the wound on my arm because the blood replenishing potions taste horrible. And people can tell you however many times they like that you’ll get used to the taste, three months of drinking it on a daily, I am _not_ used to that sorry excuse of a flavour.

Luckily it works or I’d have thrown it out of the window by now.

So yes, research about magical weapons or weapons with curses is something Minerva and I have also been busy with. Poppy’s been helping me too, but she’s also been busy with a secret project with professor Sprout. Another new professor that’ll be starting this year, it’s quite amusing to see the two girls whom are only twenty one running around together and being nervous about their first year of being the ‘adults’ at Hogwarts.

I’ve been trying to figure out what this secret project is, but to no avail.

‘’Here is your sandwich... and a fruit salad’’ Minerva tells me, handing me the food as we sat down on the rocks around the black lake. The weather truly is beautiful! Looking at the sky I smile, yes, it is.

Clearing her throat Minerva takes my attention, ‘’so, Hermione… I wanted to discuss something with you.’’ Raising my eyebrows I lift my toes from the water to turn to her fully, placing my fork down in the bowl of fruit. ‘’What is it?’’ She looks nervous, I hope nothing bad happened? She’s become the person here I trust the most out of everyone, almost like family. Even more so when we discovered that though I have the memories of my eighteen year old self, I definitely act like an eleven year old.

So she withdrew her statement of thinking I could legally make decisions ever since she saw me try to sneak away into the forbidden forest. In my defence, I was done sitting around and wanted my wand. Also, I hadn’t fully realised it was night. Okay so yes maybe I _do_ need to reconsider my ‘wisdom’ but still. At least it’ll help be fit in with the other first years!

‘’Well Albus and I were talking, because your name is Hermione. But for obvious reasons you cannot use your last name. So we thought, I thought, you might like to take my last name? A past… flame… of mine recently passed away and we could say you grew up at his house before moving here to live with me? Your mother?’’ What?

My eyes widening I stare at her, it would be the perfect cover. No one would dare question it, not if Minerva is my mother. Nodding I grin, it’s amazing she would even consider something like this. Let alone actually offering! Jumping up I race over to her before pulling her in a tight hug, ‘’I would love that!!’’ Of course I would love that!

‘’Really?’’ Hearing the surprise in her voice I smile at the small show of emotion that she’s been showing more and more every day. ‘’Of course! I already saw you a bit as my mother figure and it would be the greatest honour to be a McGonagall’’ I exclaim, smiling at the thought ‘’Hermione McGonagall, I like it.’’

Seeing the relieved look on Minerva’s face I chuckle, ‘’you hadn’t actually expected me to say no, had you?’’ Blushing slightly she shakes her head, ‘’you surprise me every day Hermione, who knew.’’

Laughing I turn around to the water, I can’t believe I got Minerva McGonagall to blush. ‘’Hey Hermione?’’ ‘’Hmm?’’ ‘’Can you please touch the water, try it soothingly, before pulling away abruptly?’’

Raising my eyebrow at her I nod slowly, she must have a good reason to ask me? Kneeling beside the water I start tracing patterns in it, how in the world do you sooth water? Glancing back at Minerva I notice her nod silently. Looking back down I pull my hand away abruptly. Seeing a shock in the water ripple away. What?

‘’What was that?’’ I ask in amazement. Shaking her head Minerva sits down on the stone next to me, ‘’I have no idea… see there you go again! Surprising me.’’

Smiling at that I sit back down, dipping my toes back in the water and grabbing my fruit again. Stabbing a piece of apple with my fork I frown, the lake is magical. Can magical items grow a consciousness? Highly unlikely… But what about the sword? It absorbed stronger magic, so it was able to recognize stronger magic. Could the lake recognise strong magic? No that would make sense, she didn’t absorb it after all.

And also, I’d need strong magic for that in the first place. Now I might be above average, but my core is still only 117 Mg. Unless… Frowning I shake my head, no… Because of the traveling? Or my sight?

Turning to Minerva my frown deepens, better be sure… though it isn’t possible… right…? ‘’Could you please cast a core weighing spell on me?’’ I ask slowly, there’s no way.

Looking at me she nods slowly, clearly not quite sure why that would lead to an answer but she doesn’t question it, which I’m grateful for. Waving her wand over me she frowns, redoing it. Breathing in sharply she repeats the spell again, ‘’Hermione this is amazing!’’ She breathes, I’ve never seen her this shocked, it’s making me feel uneasy. ‘’What?’’ I ask curiously, it must be big if she’s this excited? Though it really shouldn’t be…

‘’Your magic, Hermione… I think it’s even stronger than Albus’s.’’ What? Excuse me? Excuse _you_? Chuckling I shake my head, ‘’that isn’t possible. He has a core of over 194 Mg! The _average_ is 96 Mg, I could never get higher than _him_. That’s just… just… not possible…’’ I trail of faintly, seeing the slight shake of Minerva’s head. She’s certain.

Swallowing I frown, ‘’what is it?’’ ‘’Oh.. you really need not know Hermione, it is not of importance.’’ Raising my eyebrows I shake my head, ‘’you either tell me now or I find out myself once I have a wand. When _are_ we getting my wand anyway?’’ ‘’Watch the tone, I am your mother after all young lady!’’ Minerva replies with a smirk, raising her eyebrows, ‘’and I was actually thinking we could go tomorrow?’’

‘’Yes that would be great!’’ Grinning I clap my hands together, the thought of Minerva being my mother making me giddy. Though thinking about it too much made me want to cry, because my own mother doesn’t even remember me. At least she’s happy somewhere in Australia… or, right now she’s a teenager somewhere.

Sighing I focus back on Minerva, ‘’don’t change the subject though! How much Mg is my core?!’’ Chuckling softly she nods, ‘’very well, brace yourself and to let you know, I recast the spell three times so I’m pretty certain!’’ ‘’Yes, yes, just tell me, what is it?’’

Rolling her eyes she recast the spell once more, ‘’your core weighs approximately 274 Mg, it’ll probably grow because of your age though.’’ 274 Mg. 274. Two _hundred_. Seventy. Four. 274…

Felling light headed I shake my head, it’ll grow too?! ‘’You know, I thought, maybe your core from your past, the future, came with you?’’

Focusing back on Minerva I shake my head, ‘’my core used to be 117 Mg, which if doubled would be 234 Mg, that’s about 40 Mg difference! And we don’t even know how fast my core is growing!? It might be growing in incredible speed! What then? I already have a huge arrow pointing at me because of my sight and other knowledge, adding the power!? This is horrible!!’’ I rant, feeling despair wash over me.

If people figure out my sight I’ll already be having a problem with the war coming, but with this amount of magic?! I’d be on their number one hitlist!

Feeling Minerva pull me towards her I realise I was panicking, though I didn’t cry, I never cry. Not anymore. ‘’Hey now, look at it positively, you’ll be able to fight! Make sure everyone stays safe. You’re my daughter now Hermione, and McGonagalls? We’re not afraid of a little challenge’’ she whispers, before suddenly frowning.

Nodding I take a deep breath, ‘’I know… I just… I…’’ ‘’It is okay, you are eleven Hermione, it is okay to panic sometimes, it’s amazing you did not break down earlier with everything being thrown on you.’’

Chuckling softly I sigh, I guess she’s right. ‘’One day you will find someone you can truly cry your eyes out, until that day these small sessions are always welcome here,’’ Minnie added softly, looking up she shakes her head, ‘’amazing’’ she whispered. Looking up as well I raise my eyebrows before laughing. 

‘’I very much doubt I’ll find someone like that _mum_, but thank you anyway!’’ Smiling happily I jump up from the stone, looking up at the sun again. 

Sighing I grimace, I do miss my mum and dad and oh… Harry and Ron… Oh Ron… we’d finally kissed and now… Sighing again I shake my head before turning to my new mother, whom was looking at me with a frown. Making me frown as well, ‘’it’s strange,’’ I tell her and she raises her eyebrows in question, ‘’I miss my parents, you know? And I miss Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Merlin I miss everyone, and for some reason I feel like I should mourn them because I’ll never meet them again, not in the way I’d like to anyway… And yet…’’ shaking my head I sigh, ‘’right before I got here there was a battle, it’s was… horrible Minnie,’’ I whisper, using the nickname I remember Sirius calling her once, ‘’and this boy, the older brother of my best friend? He died…’’ I shake my head again, ‘’I had known him for years, years! Every summer I spend with them and he’d become a close friend of mine, and he’d died and it felt _horrible_.’’

I sit back down on the stone slowly, ‘’and it hurt, physically, you know? So much so it made it hard to breathe. And I still felt it at the very moment that I started to go back in time,’’ meeting Minerva’s eyes I shake my head, ‘’but now? I don’t feel it anymore Minnie,’’ I whisper, tears filling my eyes, ‘’I realise I _should_ miss him and my friends and family. And part of me _does_ miss them, but it doesn’t hurt. It isn’t hard to breathe at all and I just keep forgetting I’m never going to see them again.’’

Staring at my hands I frown, ‘’doesn’t that make me a _horrible_ person?’’ I whisper, shaking my head in attempt to clear my eyes, I don’t cry. I never cry. Minerva smiles sadly at me, pulling me in a hug for a moment before nodding her head slowly, ‘’you know what, Hermione? It actually makes sense if you think about it,’’ she tells me softly, ‘’think about what we’ve been guessing is the reason you’re here? You’re not tied down by the rules of time travel and you’re even young enough to start Hogwarts again.’’

Meeting my eyes she smiles softly, pushing a stray curl from my face, ‘’magic is giving you another chance. For what I’m not sure yet, but it wants you to have another chance at life Hermione and so it probably took part of the pain away, so you can truly start without missing your old life too much.’’

I shake my head with wide eyes, ‘’do you really think so?’’ I whisper, maybe she’s right… but still… it doesn’t _feel_ right…

‘’No I’m not sure. It could be, it could also be you turned the pain off unconsciously because right now you can’t deal with it yet. You have a whole life ahead of you Hermione, and you should _not_ feel guilty about living it. Never feel guilty. Make sure you _use_ this second chance to the best of your abilities, make your old friends proud. Make yourself proud.’’ ‘’I’ll try.’’

Grimacing I nod, I can try. ‘’Good. Now,’’ shaking her head she frowns, ‘’we’ll have to teach you control over your magic Hermione.’’ What? ‘’I have it under control.’’ I would’ve felt offended had she not sounded so serious. ‘’You have it on lock down Hermione and…’’ following her eye line I frown.

Worry overcame me when I look up, I hadn’t even realised that the sun had stopped shining. Instead the sky’s a dark grey, now turning slightly lighter. ‘’You need to calm down Hermione.’’ Turning to Minerva I raise my eyebrows, ‘’am I doing this? You’re kidding right?’’

‘’Actually no, I’ve seen it with younger children before. Children whom are very powerful can effect their surroundings when their emotions are powerful, usually this means when they’re really upset they make it rain. But it’s entirely possible with other emotions too.’’

What?!? ‘’It is going to be okay’’ she tells me calmly, feeling her calmness I nod, ‘’okay’’ I whisper, taking a deep breath I look up, ‘’I can’t use my magic with the block, how is this happening?’’ I ask, Minerva frowned slightly at that, ‘’I’m sure we’ll find an answer to everything Hermione.’’ 

Smiling I nod, ‘’but first we will be going to buy a wand this afternoon.’’ ‘’Tomorrow’’ Minerva answered with a chuckle, to which I can’t help but smile truly, we will. I honestly can’t wait! And with amazement we watch how the grey clouds disappear and the relaxed blue sky returned with the sun shining softly.

‘’Amazing’’ Minerva whispered again. And I can’t help but chuckle at it.

The next day we walk down Diagon Alley, it’s the first time I leave Hogwarts since arriving and I’m positively bouncing from one shop to another, never actually entering.

‘’So Hermione, you want a pet for the coming year? It is very pleasant to have an animal for company!’’ Minerva shares with a smile, watching me somewhat amused. Nodding excitingly I run to Magical Menageries, hoping to find Crookshanks, even though I know that isn’t actually possible. Crookshanks was only 9 when I bought him. Entering the shop I eye every animal curiously.

Walking past the snakes I frown at them, images of Neville slashing the head of Nagini playing in my mind. Something that happened only minutes before I fell and passed through time. Shaking my head I pass them and come to a halt in front of a large cage with cute little kittens, inside there are many different breeds, but two caught my eye immediately. They were huddled together in the corner, picking them up I walk to Minerva. ‘’Can I have these?’’ Putting up my biggest eyes I pout, ‘’please?’’

Looking down at the two kittens I can actually see her heart melt in her eyes, she absolutely adores kittens, or any cat really. Shaking her head slightly she pulls up her stern face ‘’I don’t know Hermione… A student can only have one…’’

Smirking as I already knew she was going to say this and I already prepared I reply, ‘’so you have one, I have one and they both just really love being together with me!’’ Smiling cheekily I cradle the kittens, handing the smallest one to her I grin even bigger, Minerva’s eyes are almost turning into hearts so cute she finds them, she might be a stone cold Scottish woman, but cats will always make her a softy.

This is something I found out in my fourth year, no matter what kind of cat of what house, she always made sure they returned to their owners at the end of the school year. And during the year she was always playing with them if she was in cat form, though most didn’t recognise her, I started looking for her trademark signs and what I found was truly amazing and worth the time I spend on it.

Biting her lip, a habit she had taken from me probably, she nods, ‘’alright then!’’ Laughing I jump up, ‘’yess!!’’ Together we quickly walk to the desk, buying the two kittens and probably way too much extra stuff for the two to play with. But also some useful things like food and a litter-box, don’t worry!

Upon stepping outside Minerva turns to me, ‘’so, do you have names yet? They’re a girl and a boy.’’ Looking down at the two I smiled. ‘’What about, Munchkin and Moon?’’ I chuckle, seeing as the smallest was a Munchkin and the girl a Maine Coon. Rolling her eyes Minerva shakes her head, ‘’try to be a little more creative!’’

Looking down at the Red kitten, she’s majestic and is the largest actual cat breed. Before turning my eyes to the small white one, he’s adorable and the smallest cat breed. We picked the best ones for sure!

‘’What about… Marshmallow for the little one?’’ I ask grinning, ‘’and Skittles, Fuzzball or Kiwi for the girl?’’ ‘’Are you hungry or something? And Fuzzball and Skittles? Even you wouldn’t be that cruel, now Kiwi, that’s cute.’’

Nodding I smile ‘’Marshmallow and Kiwi it is! And now that you mention it, some food wouldn’t be wrong?’’ Continuing down Diagon Alley five minutes later with a sugar quill in my hand I grin excitingly when we stop in front of Olivanders. Entering the shop I’m hit with familiarity, it seems like the old man doesn’t change a single thing in those thirty or so years.

‘’Professor! To what do I owe… oh my…’’ the already elder looking man stares at me in amazement. And when I meet his eyes I can feel my magic push against my barriers, whatever he was going to be doing it’s a choice. Closing my eyes for a few seconds I reopen them with my barriers strong.

‘’Who might you be?!’’ He asks. Walking towards me with the biggest of eyes, eyeing me in curiosity. ‘’I’m Hermione McGonagall, it’s a pleasure to meet you!’’ I reply with a shy grin. ‘’McGonagall? Oh professor I never knew, well this is really interesting! Let’s find you a wand shall we!’’ He replies cheerily, shaking my hand with excitement, completely forgetting to introduce himself.

I heard him mutter in the back before he returns with a couple of boxes, I take a deep breath and take my wall down before accepting the wands, careful to not look him in the eyes.

He was handing them to be rapidly now, every wand rejecting me one by one. I swear he looks like a dog about to pee in his pants from excitement as he hands me the next wand, ‘’well you know, I had this wand in mind the second I saw you Hermione. However it takes great power to wield it and is _extremely _picky. It should be perfect for you!’’

Nodding I watch him run off to the back of the shop before turning to Minerva, ‘’that was my old wand.’’ I mutter, pointing at the familiar stick on the desk. It would’ve matched, but according to Ollivander there was a better match for me out there and he was set on finding it.

‘’Well, you have changed a lot. Maybe you’ll find one even better?’’ Minerva offers with a grin. Brightening I nod, ‘’yes, I hope so.’’ But the pang in my heart wouldn’t quite leave yet.

‘’Here you go miss Hermione! Pinus Longaeva wood, from the oldest tree currently known! And feathers of the golden phoenix for core, the blood of the Stonehenge circle added to stabilise. It’s incredibly powerful and not of my making. Created by one of the original crafters that opened this shop actually. It has no strongest strength, but it’s weakness lies in hate. Would you ever turn to the darker side of emotional magic this wand _will_ abandon you.’’ He whispered, completely in awe.

Swallowing thickly I take the wand gently, the wood’s a combination of light brown and white swirling together, a beautiful design of small leaves and roses on the handle, fitting perfect in my hand. Glowing beautifully we fill the room with golden light, making Ollivander and Minerva gasp in shock.

‘’What was that?’’ Minerva asked in shock, but a large grin on her face. ‘’That, professor, was a wand and a witch matching 100% they are very rare, the closest I ever been to a perfect match is 95%. This wand was designed for you miss Hermione.’’

Staring at the wand with a blissful feeling I nod, ‘’thank you’’ I whisper. ‘’That was amazing!’’ With the feeling of pure bliss still in my heart we left the shop after two more heedful warnings about hatred and having paid of course.

‘’Want to get your books and then get some food at the Leaky Cauldron?’’ Turning around I grinned, ‘’Sure, though I doubt they can cook better than the elves’’

Chuckling Minerva nodded, whilst we made our way to the bookshop and café for a nice meal I put my wall back up, the wand in my hand growing a little colder as I did so, but I don’t have much of a choice do I? Entering Flourish and Blotts I look around with a large grin, familiarity hitting me straight in the face and for once I don’t mind it in the slightest. Quickly I start to roam around the shelves in search of some private books whilst Minerva went to the desk to get the necessary books for school.

The shop is already quite busy with other students also needing their books whom kept stopping to greet her so Minerva send me away quickly to look around whilst she queued up. Though it’s too busy to truly take a good look at most books, I quickly find one of the isles without many people around. I wonder if they have books about time here, I’ve already read most of the time books Hogwarts has to offer so…

Wondering through the isle I exclaim in surprise when someone crashes into me with an equally surprises exclamation. ‘’Oh Merlin I’m so, so, so sorry!! Are you okay?! I really wasn’t looking, and oh Merlin are you okay?! I’m really sorry, so sorry, please don’t be mad! I’m-‘’ ‘’So sorry?’’ I finish for him with a laugh. Looking up my eyes widen in surprise, are my eyes deceiving me or is this lad a young Remus Lupin?!

Sandy brown hair, golden eyes, scar over his cheek, clothes that are neatly ironed and a face that’s staring at me with utter panic. It’s Remus Lupin alright. ‘’Yes…’’ he answers weakly. ‘’Hi! I’m Hermione’’ I chuckle, standing up and picking up the book I had dropped. It’s another book about magical beings, I’m trying to find information about the golden phoenix. How is it different than a red one, like Felix.

He grimaces at me nervously before nodding, ‘’hi, I’m Remus..’’ Grinning I stick my hand out, ‘’nice to meet you Remus!’’ His eyes widen in fear when he sees my hand and my heart aches a little at the sight before calming down when he takes it with a nod.

‘’Nice to meet you too’’ he mutters. ‘’So, are you starting Hogwarts as well this year?’’ I ask, smiling hopefully at him. I already realized they would also be starting this week about a week or two ago. And that’s a good thing too or I would’ve probably had a heart attack running into mini Remus like this!! Of course the heart attack is still a little bit there, but sufficiently less.

‘’Yes’’ he nods, a small smile forming on his face, ‘’you too?’’ ‘’Yes, I’ll see you the first of September then!’’ I exclaim, hearing Minerva call for me, ‘’that’s my mother, she’s calling me.’’ I tell him apologetically, he only nods, waving slightly with a small smile. ‘’Bye Remus!’’ I exclaim, ‘’bye Hermione!’’ He replies, louder than I’ve heard him speak before.

Running to Minerva I grin, I’m actually _really_ curious what James and Sirius will look like, a little curious for Pettigrew as well, but mostly curious whether I’d attack him or not when I’d see him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rowlings world, not mine :/


	3. Potter?

**James POV  
**‘’JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER!!’’

Groaning loudly I fall out of my bed with a jolt, walking down the stairs numbly a few minutes later I groan again and again. ‘’WHAAAA-‘’ seeing the look on my mother’s face I gulp, ‘’aat…’’ I mumble the last part.

‘’We’re leaving for the platform in an hour mister, and you better have packed your bags, showered. And when I say showered, I mean _showered_ James, not just spraying some perfume or deodorant!’’ ‘’_Cologne_ mum!!’’ ‘’Yes, so _showering_ okay? And don’t forget to eat as well, the trolley can take a while before you see it!’’ Rolling my eyes I nod, ‘’alright, alright, I’m going!!’’

Turning around I hear her mutter that I should’ve just packed everything yesterday, but she supposes that is indeed too much to hope for. Chuckling I shake my head before hitting the showers.

Today I’m going to Hogwarts. Today I’m going to HOGWARTS! TODAY I’M GOING TO HOGWARTS!!! Jumping up in excitement, I get out and dress quickly. Storming down the stairs I grin, ‘’I’m going to Hogwarts!!!!’’ I almost shout, but remembering the look on mums face I luckily didn’t and opted for exclaiming it loudly instead.

‘’Yes you are James!!’’ Dad replies with a laugh, ‘’now come sit, eat, enjoy your last breakfast with us.’’ Grinning at him I plop down on my seat. Throughout breakfast I have a positive shit-eating grin on my face, never letting it fall, I’m going to Hogwarts damn it!

After having finished eating and packing my trunk we _finally_ leave to go to the train station. Entering through the wall really is fun and when we are on the platform I grin even bigger when I spot all the students and families. It’s incredibly busy, so I turn to my parents to say goodbye to my parent quickly.

They both give me a big parents hug, my mum a bit longer and tighter, before getting a ‘’have fun’’ from dad with a wink and a ‘’don’t you dare get in trouble mister!’’ From mum with a slight scowl, though I can see in her eyes that she doesn’t really mean it. They don’t really care if I get into trouble or not, my dad was known for getting in trouble, it’s what my mum fell for! Not that mum wants me to know that of course! 

Giving me another hug she sighs and pushes me away, ‘’go!’’ Grinning I nod, jumping up and starting my way to the strain. ‘’Write us!!’’ I hear mum call and before I get into the train my dad’s voice joins in with a laugh, ‘’send me a toilet seat!’’ Laughing I look over my shoulder, spotting them easily as mum hits dad’s head softly whilst trying, and failing, to look angry.

Entering the train I hear someone yelling out to me, a quick glance over my shoulder informing me it was indeed Marlene McKinnon, our 'family' friend. Grimacing I jump into the train, I'll definitely pay for that later. Finding an empty compartment easily I fall down with a grin. Outside people are still saying goodbye to their parents and family when someone knocks on the door. ‘’Hello!’’ Turning to the voice I grin, ‘’hey! You wanna sit?’’ I exclaim when I realize the boy had trouble asking. ‘’Definitely’’ he answers, pushing his black curls out of his face before sitting down slowly.

Clasping and unclasping his hands a few times he grimaces, and I’m about to introduce myself when the door opens again.

‘’Good morning! Can we sit here?’’ A girl’s voice comes from the door way and turning to it I realise it is indeed a girl, a girl with auburn hair and very pretty green eyes. Shrugging I nod, ‘’sure thing.’’ Glancing at the boy that follows her in my eyes grow wide. Quickly I bite my lip before focusing on the girl.

Damn he has _awful_ hair. Looking down at my hands I try to focus on my mother’s voice in my head reminding me to ‘’never judge a book by it’s cover James, never!’’ She had berated me for laughing at the ridiculous beard of uncle Albus. Whoops?

But seriously that beard is just plain weird!! I’d want a beard like that though, wouldn’t it be _epic_!?!

Looking up my eyes catch the eyes of the lad that had entered first and I quickly look away when I realize he’s having trouble not laughing also.

‘’I’m Lily. Lily Evans!’’ The girl with the pretty eyes, apparently Lily, pipes up with a proud look. Nodding I smile and am about to reply when I accidentally glance at the awful hair boy. And I have to _all_ of my will power not to laugh, so instead I focus on the pretty green eyes. ‘’Severus Snape’’ the boy with very sad hair says, and nodding I attempt another glance at him. I’m prepared for the hair, I’m prepared for the hair, I’m prepa- THAT NOSE. Oh shit.

Chewing on the inside of my cheek I grin broadly, unable to actually open my mouth too afraid of what’ll come out if I do. ‘’So! Is everyone as excited as I am?’’ I finally exclaim, don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh. ‘People’s looks are _not_ amusing James, it is rude and disdainful!’ Mum’s voice echoes in my head and grimacing I sigh.

‘’Oh yes, I personally can’t wait! I mean, how can anyone possibly not be excited?! We get to study magic, it’s all so surreal!’’ ‘’I agree, all the knowledge we’ll learn is so interesting’’ Severus added pompously and I nod. I’m pretty excited about that too actually!

Lily grinned wildly at that, ‘’yes! I’ve already read all the books and even practiced some spells! I can’t wait to see the library and read even more!’’ She exclaims excitedly and raising my eyebrows I nod slowly, I heard that the library there is indeed pretty impressive. Though the Potter manor already has a pretty cool library and I barely, if ever, spend any time there..

‘’And I met professor McGonagall, she’s such a great witch! I can’t wait to be just as good!’’ Woah she’s really intense about all that studying.. what about the fun though?! Glancing at the boy opposite of me I shrug, ‘’obviously, that’s what it’s all about. Studying, book and even more studying!!’’ I answer with a serious nod. ‘’Ah yes! You won’t ever find me anywhere other than the library in my free time, _obviously_’’ he answers with wide eyes, catching on immediately. ‘’Oh of course you silly! What else could we possibly do?!’’ I gasp, as though other options obviously aren’t available. Which duuuh they aren’t.

He shakes his head in agreement dramatically, ‘’nothing! Absolutely nothing!’’ ‘’Obviously we cannot _ever_ have fun!’’ ‘’Nor can we ever go flying..’’ ‘’Or play games.’’ ‘’Games?! Silly of course no games! Nor can we ever, _ever_ eat. It would cut in our time of ‘studying’!’’ ‘’Merlin we shouldn’t even _breathe_!!!’’ ‘’We might as well die!!’’ He shouts in desperation and shaking my head my eyes widen as I start to plead, ‘oh please kill me now!!’’

Bursting out laughing I grab my stomach as Lily huffs, ‘’no need to be so rude.’’ Sorry that’s what having _fun_ is called! ‘’So you probably want to be a Ravenclaw then?’’ the boys asks, stretching his legs out and finally relaxing a little bit.

‘’Well I’m not yet certain actually. I think the sorting will decide for me which house will fit me best.’’ Isn’t it more that you fit in with the house? Shrugging I grin before jumping up and stretching my hand out as though I’m wielding a sword, ‘’I’m going to be a Gryffindor!’’ Jumping up as well the boy mimics me, ‘’oh I’ll fight you for a spot!’’ He declares before we start to jump through the compartment with a laugh.

Scoffing Lily shakes his head at us, ‘’how do you even know that?’’ She’s clearly liking us less and less. ‘’My whole family is in Gryffindor of course! Besides, it’s the best house by far!’’ Well, mum wasn’t a Gryffindor… and granny didn’t even go to Hogwarts! But grandpa went to Gryffindor! And we don’t really talk much with mum’s side of the family these days..

‘’Oh sure, dumb guys that don’t think before they act. More pride than courage if you ask me.’’ Severus informs us with a scoff and dropping my pretend sword I turn to him with raised eyebrows. ‘’Oh well no one _did_ ask you now _did they_?! Now I don’t even need to ask you, just by looking at you I can see you’re a Slytherin. Even if you haven’t been sorted yet! Now if _you_’d ask _me_, that house is for disloyal dark pussies that would rather die than admit anyone is better than them. You talk about _pride_, but Slytherins are known for it, not Gryffindors.’’ 

Falling back into my seat I send him a challenging look, I’ve been arguing with Marlene my _entire_ life and that girl got a tongue sharp like a blade. Don’t say crap in front of me because she taught me well, just… don’t tell her that…

Besides, mum told me all about her house. She said to give them a shot if they’re polite to me, which this guy obviously is not. Dad told me about the houses too and he told me to have fun with those bastard Slytherins, which is how he called them! _And_ I also happen to know mum spend her entire last year at the Gryffindor tower because the Slytherins were such assholes, so excuse me for listening to my dad on this matter.

Which is exactly what I’m doing, mum isn’t here anyways to berate me!

Scoffing Severus replies, ‘’no, actually. Slytherin is for the strong minded, they actually _think_ before doing something. And you know what, they actually succeed in achieving their dreams! Not like the dumb brainless, reckless Gryffindors. That always mess up, never succeed and _always_ seem to think themselves better.’’

I actually feel like laughing, hell! I do laugh! A short sarcastic laugh coming right up! ‘’So you think that Dumbledore didn’t succeed? You think that the dark lords succeed?! You think it’s okay to want witches and wizards with muggle parents dead? Gone?’’ Scoffing I shake my head, ‘’think before you say something, seeing you’d otherwise act like a Gryffindor, wouldn’t want that now would we? Besides have you actually ever met a Gryffindor? I’ve met a few Slytherins and like you? Ain’t pretty.’’

At that Lily promptly rose to her feet, probably seeing the rage in Severus’s eyes. Glancing at the boy who’s name I still don’t know I see him hide his laughter behind his hand, but seeing the two leaving the compartment he feels like he should say something as well, ‘’see you around Snivellus, that _was_ your name right?’’

Finally losing control I bent over laughing, gasping for air I hear him say something in between his own laughter, ‘’I think we’ll be great friends!’’ Nodding we burst out laughing again.

‘’By the way, I’m James’’ I finally exclaim with a grin. ‘’It’s a wondrous pleasure, I’m Sirius!’’ ‘’An absolute pleasure indeed!’’ I laugh, shaking his hand we both burst out laughing again. ‘’Wouldn’t want that now would we?!’’ Sirius mimics me in between breaths and I close my eyes as I bury my face in my hands, yes, I do believe we’ll be great friends! _Snivellus_, how did he even think of that?!!!

**Remus POV  
**Walking through the train I sigh, I had entered too late and now all the compartments are already full. When two seemingly first-years pass me I almost get the courage to go talk to them, but seeing the angry look on both of their faces make me reconsider. Maybe someone else?

Where is that girl I met last week? She actually seemed very nice… frowning I wrap my arms around myself, Merlin believe my luck…

Passing a compartment with two laughing boys I sigh, shake my head and decide to go for it. Might as well try… Knocking silently I enter slowly, both boys have black hair and are laughing uncontrollably. ‘’Hi… uh… can I sit here? Everything else is-‘’ ‘’Full, yea sure, sit down, I’m James’’ The boy with short hair, James, says before I can finish.

‘’I’m Remus’’ I mumble, sitting down. ‘’Hi, that’s Sirius’’ James exclaims, waving at the other boy whom seems to be unable to speak.

‘’So uh… what’s so funny?’’ I wonder out loud, sending Sirius off the bridge again whilst James stifles his laughter. Shaking his head he replies with a shrug, ‘’nothing really, there was this kid, said Gryffindor was for the stupid and Slytherin was the best. I didn’t agree.’’

Suddenly Sirius is perfectly capable to speak again, ‘’Didn’t agree? James, you put him in the ground and stomped on him! And when he tried getting back up you shook your head and BURNED him down!!’’ Laughing again Sirius turns to me, ‘’really mate, you should’ve seen it! _Think before you say something, seeing you’d otherwise act like a Gryffindor, wouldn’t want that now would we?_’’ he quotes James. ‘’_Now if you’d ask me, that house is for the disloyal dark pussies that would rather die than admit anyone is better than them, _brilliant!’’ He continues with wide shining eyes.

Smiling nervously I nod, seems James knows how to keep his ground. ‘’I wish I’d seen it’’ I eventually say with a chuckle, seeing as Sirius had burst out laughing again.

‘’Oh you should’ve! Besides he looked horrid, I’m not one to judge on a cover but damn, do you think he knows what a shower is?’’ James asks, looking seriously curious. ‘’Forget the hair, what about the nose?’’ Sirius chuckles. Nodding James smiles, ‘’I must admit Sirius that name you used, it fits perfect’’ to which Sirius grins, ‘’doesn’t it?’’

Looking between the two boys I almost raise my eyebrow, it seems like they’re bullying. Biting my lip I realize resignedly I can’t really say anything, what if they didn’t want to be friends with me anymore? Did they even want to be friends?

‘’What’s the name?’’ I ask carefully. Feeling a little bad I wait for their response. ‘’Well his name was Severus, but now it’s Snivellus’’ Sirius answers with a proud grin.

‘’What house do you want to be in Remus?’’ James asks curiously. ‘’Uh… I don’t know, I suppose all houses have their qualities’’ I reply slowly, thank Merlin they’ve changed the subject.

Nodding James replied, ‘’I guess so, but Gryffindor is best! Sirius what’s your opinion actually?’’

‘’Well honestly, my whole family is in Slytherin. But I’m thinking about breaking the tradition’’ he replies with a smirk, looking very confident. ‘’Slytherin family huh, and I thought you were alright’’ James laughed, showing he was kidding.

Nodding I’m about the say something when the door is thrown open, a girl with narrowed blue eyes glaring at us all before settling on James.

‘’James Fleamont _Potter_’’ she hisses upon spotting him, ‘’where the _hell_ have you been?’’ ‘’Just hanging around?!’’ ‘’Oh okay, _great_! I swear to the fucking overlords, or better yet! The _under_lord if you ever try to fucking ditch me with my pathetic excuse of a brother again?!!? I'm going to burn your balls off.'' Ouch. 

Narrowing her eyes on James one more time she makes a face at him of warning to which he nods at before she drops down next to Sirius and smiles happily, ‘’oh hello lads!’’ Blinking at her I glance at Sirius, whom seems just as perplexed as me. ‘’I’m Marlene!’’

**Hermione POV  
**Reading my book _Dangerous Magical Creatures_ I can distantly hear the train coming, the book’s a book about pretty much only dark creatures. But they’re genuinely interesting, I’ve been trying to find more information about the golden phoenix, whose feather is in my wand. But there’s very little information about them. In this book they’re probably not going to get mentioned at all, since it’s a very light creature.

Yet if you don’t shoot, you’ll miss for sure.

‘’Firs’-years! Firs’-years over here!’’ Hearing Hagrid shout out I suddenly notice all the students everywhere. Pulling up my shield to the strongest I walk over to him, ‘’good evening Hagrid’’ I greet pleasantly. ‘’Hey there Hermione! Didn’t know ye was gonna take the train?’’ He replies with a grin. Laughing it off I focus my attention back on my book, of course I didn’t go with the train.

Albus was already being the biggest drama queen about me going to Diagon Alley for the afternoon! Don’t even think about taking the train! Even Minerva isn’t that difficult!

Once all the first years were seemingly there we walk to the boathouse in a sort duckling way, all following the mother duck Hagrid, I sit down without really looking, not lifting my focus from my book. It’s interesting okay!?

_The Lethifold is a XXXXX classified creature. The creature is related to the Dementor and should be treated as such, with only the Patronus for a defense spell (information Patronus Charm page 344). It attacks at night, when the victim is sleeping and his power is suspected to be in sync with the moon. For when there is no moon at the sky the Lethifold’s victim count triples. Only once has there ever been a known survivor from an attack of a Lethifold at night with his full power. And they only survived because the victim wasn’t fully asleep yet. They wished to remain unidentified but would inform us that the reason they did not die was only because they ran to a place of light. Though no other research is yet found that the Lethifold is indeed either afraid or hurt by light. _

_This is because the Lethifold have never been captured. Though the blood has been seen when a wounded Lethifold had disguised itself as a stage curtain. At first it was thought to be tar, as thick and rotten it was, dripping from the disguised Lethifold. Yet when looked upon more closely by a unknown witch, the girl was eaten. The Lethifold proceeded to kill everyone there except a mister Warbeck who saved another young witch from suffering the same fate by giving his life for the girl, the sole survivor. Though in vain it was, for the girl ended up dying in the hospital 2 hours later. _

_The blood left behind was inspected-_

‘’Ahum?’’

_-and it is said it can be used in a ritual to gain-_

‘’Hello?’’ Feeling someone put his hand on my shoulder I look up in annoyance, ‘’what!?’’ And there I am. Eye to eye with _the_ James freaking Potter. Almost, for a second, I thought I saw Harry. But instead of finding emerald green eyes I found hazel brown ones, looking at me curiously. Nor did James wear glasses I can now see. Previously being too stunned.

He definitely looks like Harry though, they’re practically identical. James might be a bit taller and holds himself more relaxed and with confidence, but that’s to be expected with their different upbringing.

Oh shit I’ve been staring! Blinking a couple of times I raise my eyebrows, ‘’sorry, but what is it?’’ I ask, ignoring the pain that’s sticking in my heart right now, the missing black hole that Harry had left aching painfully, but still in a strange… fading sort of way.

‘’Oh uh…’’ blushing slightly James shrugs before smirking, ‘’I’m James Potter, sorry to disturb you!’’

Raising my eyebrows at his obvious untrue apology I nod ‘’Oh don’t worry about it, I’m Hermione McGonagall, it’s a pleasure’’ accepting his hand we shake.

‘’McGonagall? As in professor McGonagall?’’ Someone says behind us, causing us to turn around. Seeing Sirius and Remus is almost a bigger shock than seeing James. Sirius looked downright adorable and Remus well I’d seen him already, ‘’hi Remus!’’ I exclaim, before glancing at Sirius. 

‘’Yes, my mum teaches Transfiguration, she’s also head of house Gryffindor’’ I reply, eyeing Sirius. He looks a lot less hunted, obviously, but it was amazing to see the difference, it’s also a horrible reminder of what he would become, unless I have any say in it at least…

‘’I never knew Minnie had a daughter’’ James says in surprise, Sirius nodding with him. ‘’Uh yea I stayed with my dad most of the time.’’ I reply, hoping to show I didn’t want to talk about it.

Seeming to get it, the three boys nod. ‘’I’m Sirius by the way’’ Sirius suddenly said, right, I wasn’t supposed to know yet! ‘’Remus, nice to meet you again’’ Remus added, smiling slightly and making me chuckle, ‘’I actually still remember, thanks.’’ Giving them both a hand I nod at Sirius, ‘’Hermione, wonderful to meet you’’ nobody says anything about Remus and me already having met and James quickly broke the silence. 

‘’Hey Hermione, Minnie is head of Gryffindor right?’’ He asks with a smirk when we turn back, facing the front. ‘’Yeah, why?’’ ‘’Well then you must think it’s the best house!’’ He exclaims with a large confident grin.

Nodding I chuckle, ‘’I do actually, Gryffindor is, in my eyes, the best house. The other houses aren’t that bad though!’’ James nods knowingly, ‘’true, true, besides Slytherin that is.’’ Rolling my eyes at his obnoxious tone I shrug. Looking up at the castle I gasp, grabbing James’s arm in amazement. ‘’Look!’’ I whisper.

I’d already seen it of course, but here on the boats with this view. It’ll always be breathtaking. Especially since the last time I had this view Hogwarts had been burning, in the middle of war.

‘’Woah’’ James breathed in wonder. ‘’It’s beautiful’’ I agree.

Arriving at the boathouse I realize I still have my hand on his arm, pulling it away quickly I shake my head. He’s not Harry, even though he looks like him I can’t act like I acted around Harry when I’m around James. James, Sirius and Remus jumped out of the boat easily, yet of course my two left feet didn’t want to help me.

I stumble horribly, almost falling in the water when James pulls my out of the boat laughing, ‘’watch out there Hermione, don’t want to get all wet with the sorting’’ he chuckles, obviously amused. Huffing I frown before sighing and nodding, ‘’thanks’’ pushing back the flashbacks of a half drowned Collin stopping in front of Harry with a proud grin.

‘’No problem’’ he replies with a laugh, turning around to follow Hagrid.

Waiting in front of the stairs much like my first- first year I remember the encounter of Malfoy and Harry, we weren’t friends yet at the time, but everyone had watched in wonder how Harry declined Malfoys’ offer (going by the movies).

Listening to Minerva explain what was going to happen I zone out, already having heard this speech anyways. Eventually she tells us to follow her inside and I grin upon entering the Great Hall. It really does look at it’s best when it’s filled with students, _living _students. Behind me I hear someone explain how the enchanted roof works much like I did the first time around and it makes me smile at the memory, it feels so long ago.

‘’Abbot, Sally!’’

Raising my eyebrows I follow the girl with blonde hair to her shoulders being led up by a boy with the same blonde hair only shorter. He helps her to her seat before turning back to us, actively avoiding eye contact.

‘’HUFFLEPUFF’’

She grins excitingly, her eyes opening for a split second, but long enough for me to see the whitish colour covering her iris’s. She’s blind. The boy runs up to help her again, but this time joined by two prefects from Hufflepuff, helping the girl to the table.

‘’Abbot, Tom’’

To which the same boy runs up, smiling at James I whisper ‘’that’s so cute!’’ To which he just replies with a whisper-shout smirk ‘’we have twins in our year!!’’ Earning a chuckle from me, Sirius and Remus. As well as a girl standing a little behind Sirius with curly icy coloured hair.

After Tom had been sorted in Hufflepuff Sirius gets called out.

‘’Black, Sirius’’

James looks curious for a moment before clapping, he might not have known Sirius was a Black? Apparently Sirius is a hat stall for he takes almost 10 minutes before the hat shouts his house, ‘’GRYFFINDOR’’

Gryffindor went shouting in excitement, whilst Slytherin’s watching in obvious shock. A Black? In Gryffindor? Sirius is writing history! Something I already knew of course, but still, it’s fun to see!

‘’Bones, Amelia’’

Watching the former… soon to be… whatever Head Auror walk up really is something else. She gets sorted in Hufflepuff as well and before I know it I’m being called up.

‘’McGonagall, Hermione’’

Hearing the whispers everywhere I see Minerva give me a reassuring smile, setting the hat down I bite my lip.

‘’Well, well, well, you’re quite something Hermione Granger. There’s absolutely no doubt you’ll be in Gryffindor, even though you’d fit perfectly in any house! But no, this isn’t the time to chat about that. Call me when you have time miss Hermione, you’ll find I could help you get answers with quite a lot!’’

Frowning I nod, ‘’I’d love to mr. Hat’’ Hearing a soft chuckle he shouts out ‘’GRYFFINDOR’’

Jumping from my seat I look at the hall with a grin, Gryffindor is shouting something about having McGonagall’s daughter earning my laughter whilst I run down. Getting my book that James had offered to keep during my sorting. ‘’Congrats’’ he exclaims with a grin and smirking I nod, ‘’thanks, good luck out there!’’ I exclaim, pretending it to be absolutely terrifying.

Quickly going to the Gryffindor table I fall down in a seat a couple of seats down Sirius and Remus, as other are already sitting in between. Biting my lip I watch James being sorted in Gryffindor before Snape gets sorted into Slytherin, again, no surprise there.

When everyone is sorted and seated Dumbledore exclaims a few strange words before food appears all over the table, grabbing the salad bowl I start making a nice fruit salad for myself.

‘’Excuse me, but can I sit here?’’ Looking up I see Lily freaking Evans!!! Her eyes are amazing, exactly identical, not even the emotions are different than Harry’s! Nodding numbly I grab the book I had put there first, ‘’sure!’’

‘’I’m Lily!’’ Lily exclaimed with an exciting grin, sticking her hand out to me happily. ‘’Hermione, lovely to meet you’’ I answer, taking a bite of a piece of apple. Watching her pile up some eggs, bacon and cheese on a piece of bread I couldn’t help compare Lily to Harry, everyone always said Harry physically looked like James, but I heard the way he handled things and how he acted was a lot more like Lily. According to Sirius and Remus that is, I’m curious if I’ll eventually see it too… as of now? Not really..

‘’Thanks for letting me sit here, I couldn’t bear sitting near those boys anymore!’’ Lily said, although grateful she frowns. ‘’Who?’’ Turning to look at where Lily presumably came from I spot James and Sirius, ‘’ah’’ I mutter before Lily could even reply. ‘’They’re not that bad?’’ I ask, turning back to Lily.

‘’Oh Hermione, they’re horrid and really prejudiced!’’ Lily exclaims, raising my eyebrow I wait for her to elaborate. ‘’Let me ask you a question Hermione, are you prejudiced in your opinion of the houses?’’ She eventually continues.

‘’Well, you could say that… but in the sense that I think Gryffindor is the best house. The other houses aren’t particularly worse until proven so?’’ Maybe Slytherin does have one negative point because of my experience with them though… 

Nodding Lily frowns, ‘’why do you think Gryffindor is best?’’ she asks.

Chuckling I glance at her, ‘’besides the fact that my mother is head of Gryffindor and that Gryffindor is effectively my house now?’’ Blushing brightly Lily nods, ‘’besides that’’ she mutters.

Nodding I shrug, ‘’I don’t know really, Gryffindor just speaks to me, the brave and the kind-hearted whilst not particularly dumb… Also the other houses all had some traits I personally don’t really like, Ravenclaw is supposed to be the smart house, but I believe in being smart yourself by reacting wisely by instinct. Not because you have to stop working and figure out a solution…’’ Which is people keep assuming I am, which annoys the hell out of me. I might be book smart but I don’t need it to be my most refining feature! ‘’And with Slytherin, I like the ambitious side of the house, but I don’t like the fact that it’s a really pureblood centered house. Of course not everyone is a pureblood, but those that aren’t, aren’t really loved in their house… And then there is Hufflepuff, I like that house second best. I guess Gryffindor simply spoke to me more on a personal level. I know myself and I believe myself loyal, but not always kind’’ ending with a chuckle I shrug again. ‘’So yea I’m a little prejudiced because mostly it’s because of the stories of my mum, but that’s not all.’’

Staring at me in amazement Lily nods, ‘’well that’s understandable, should they’’ *wild hand movements to James and Sirius* ‘’have said it like that it would’ve been _fine_, but they said it ridiculously mean!!’’

Laughing I shrug, ‘’they’re boys, what’d you expect?’’ This earned me a laugh from Lily too whom finally relaxed a little. But as the words I said ring through my ears I can’t help but remember when Ginny said that to me, laughing when I was once again angry at Ron. She said he’ll grow out of it eventually, he did, but I only caught a glimpse. Now I won’t ever see him again. Or Ginny, or Harry or anyone…

‘’So why the salad?’’ She eventually asks, breaking through my thoughts and glancing at my plate as she’s struggling with the bacon falling off of her sandwich. Raising my eyes from my plate I reply, ‘’I’m vegetarian’’ I doubt I’ll ever eat meat again after seeing all that blood.

‘’Really!? Wow, that’s though’’ Lily replied with wide eyes, suddenly realizing she’s holding a piece of bacon she blushes, dropping it quickly. Laughing I nod, ‘’sometimes it is and don’t worry, I’m doing this for myself and my beliefs. I’m not going to force them on someone else!’’ If my younger self had known this she might have dealt with the house-elf situation and a lot of other situations better. But she hadn’t known yet, I do.

That evening we all went upstairs together and seeing the Gryffindor common room again is simply… in one word? Fantastic? It makes me feel like I’m finally really home.

We share our dorm with four other girls, Alice, Marlene, Candice and Millie. I recognize Alice vaguely at first but when she introduces herself it clicked. Alice is, of course, Neville’s mother! She has a kind round face much like Neville and her hair is a dirty brown, stopping right above her shoulders.

Marlene I hadn’t known in my former life, but I heard her name once when Sirius told about the old order. She has thick almost white curls falling down to her lower back with startling blue eyes. Already she seems taller and her beauty is undeniable. Later she told us her grandmother was a Veela, which explains the grace she walks with. It’s like she glides instead of walking!

I’ve never heard about the two other girls, Candice and Millie, but they seem nice enough! Candice has strawberry blonde hair curling down to her shoulder blades and has blue eyes hidden behind a pair of thick fringe glasses. Millie has straight black hair she’s now wearing in two pigtails, she also has dark brown eyes and hasn’t said a word to me besides her name all night.

Everyone seems very nice, but I can’t help but think about my old roommates, however annoying they were. Got to let that go though, don't I?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rowling's world, not mine :/


	4. First Day 11 year old Issues, you know?

**James POV  
**‘’Sirius! Come on, I want to get some breakfast before classes start!’’ I groan loudly. Remus and Peter had already gone down for breakfast nearly thirty minutes ago and now I’m stuck here, waiting for Sirius to finish doing his hair.

When he finally walks out I raise my eyebrow, his hair looks almost exactly the same as when he woke up… Fuck’s sake I’m not even going to comment on it! Grabbing his arm I start pulling him along. Today is the first day of classes, yesterday was Sunday and we got to explore the castle a little. Now though classes have begun and first period is Transfiguration, _not_ a class you want to be late at if I’m to believe dad’s warnings about Minnie’s strictness. Something that’s still hard for me to believe, Minnie’s the sweetest woman on the planet and she adores me!

Walking down to the Great Hall we come to a halt when we spot Snivellus with some of his Slytherin buddies. ‘’Hey look! It’s Snivellus!’’ Sirius exclaims with a grin, pointing at the boy. Personally during the Welcome Feast our first night here I had decided not to be mad at the boy any longer, I was ready to put the whole thing behind me. But apparently he hadn’t been and yesterday when Sirius, Remus, Peter and I had been lounging outside near the lake he called us out on already lacking off on school, before it had even started!!

School hadn’t started yet!!! Where the hell could we possibly have been lacking off on?! Though being the incredibly responsible man I so obviously am I told him to shove it and just leave. He decided this would not do and he would still be upset with us, which led to him not wanting to leave. Long story short, Sirius and I said things, he said things, Evans came to save his arse and Sirius declared war on him. Something I 100% agree on.

Shaking myself from my thought I see Sirius and Snape arguing angrily, damn it I just wand some Food! Grabbing Sirius’s elbow I shake my head with an eyeroll, ‘’Sirius, I seriously need some Food or I’m going to kill someone. Now can we finish this another time!? Please?!’’ After sending him a look that told me I genuinely was ready to kill someone I’m happy to say he nodded.

We send one more glare at Snape before we turn and continue our way, ‘’you know, if you do need to kill someone? Please let it be that git!’’ He exclaims and rolling my eyes I smirk, ‘’sucker’’ I mutter over my shoulder before following after my mate.

Entering the Great Hall is still a whole different experience, the floating candles, the food that just _appears_! I mean, the whole castle is magical, but the Great Hall? It’s magical on a whole different level. Falling down next to Remus I glare at him, ‘’never ever leave me again!!’’ I state. To which he only chuckles, the disgrace. Scoffing at him I went to eat some waffles.

Entering the classroom I notice Hermione sitting at the front of the classroom, Evans had sat down next to her though she didn’t really get any attention from Hermione as she’s in a deep conversation with the Minnie. Glancing at Sirius I nod at two of the back seats and he nods in agreement before following me to the seats. Like hell will we sit in the front! Remus and Peter follow us silently to settle down in front of us, talking about some school related thing.

The first hour we spend taking notes, though I don’t really write anything down. Glancing at Hermione I frown, thinking back to the first time I met her two days ago.

_‘’Hello’’ I try again, placing my hand on her shoulder trying to get her attention. I had sat down next to a girl with wild dark brown curls, she was completely absorbed in her book and now looked up at me with an annoyed ‘’what?’’ As she sees me her eyes seem to flash with recognition or maybe it’s just surprise? I, at least, am absolutely shocked by what I see, I can tell you that! _

_She has these incredible golden eyes. Not just a light brown, or being caught in weird light golden, but an actual liquid golden colour! Suddenly she blinks in surprise, ‘’sorry, but what is it?’’ She asks with raised eyebrows, damn she must have realized I was staring! Whoops… ‘’Oh uh…’’ grimacing I gather myself and smirk ‘’I’m James Potter, sorry to disturb you!’’ What the hell even was that? I never say my last name when I introduce myself? And why the hell should I be sorry again? Luckily she simply smiles before replying, ‘’oh don’t worry about it, I’m Hermione McGonagall, it’s a pleasure’’ she takes my hand I’m stupidly still holding out to her. Her sleeve riding up I blanch at seeing a bandage that’s wrapped around her arm, what happened? But I don’t have a chance to ask because Sirius buts in from behind us, having heard her introduction he asked about her relation to Minnie. _

_Staring at her arm I frown, the bandage is clearly still fresh. But there are red blood stains steadily growing on it and colouring the clean white._ _ What the hell happened to her? She seems to find Sirius amusing and exchanges some words with them and glancing at her she seems fine? Shaking my head I try to focus on what they’re talking about, I even ask about her mother. I never knew Minnie had a daughter my age, definitely not one that has bandages… ‘_

_’Hey Hermione, Minnie is head of Gryffindor right?!’’ I suddenly ask, regaining her attention. She _must_ agree with me about Gryffindor! The realization erasing her bandage from my mind for a moment. ‘’Yeah why?’’ ‘’Well then you must think it’s the best house!’’ I state with a confident smile, of course she does. She nods with a chuckle, ‘’I do actually, Gryffindor is, in my eyes, the best house. The other houses aren’t bad though!’’ Hmm, true, except Slytherin! I told her this, and she thought it was rather amusing, it seems like she finds everything amusing. Looking up she gasps, grabbing my arm as though she’s already familiar with me. ‘’Look!’’ she whispers in amazement. Looking up at Hogwarts I gasp too, I can’t help it, the windows give an orange glow to the castle, making it rise beautifully from the dark lake against the dark background. ‘’Woah’’ I mutter. ‘’It’s beautiful’’ Hermione softly agrees._

_It's only when we have to get off of the boats that I notice Hermione's still holding my arm, she seems to realize at the same time as I do though and pulls it of with a weak chuckle. Jumping out of the boat seconds later to continue to sway dangerously close to the water, instinctively I reach out and help her to land. It looked like she needed it with that giant book! That giant book that when her name gets called now achieves a frustrated look from the girl, ''here, I'll hold it for a sec'' I whisper. Looking up at me gratefully she grins, ''thanks'' she mumbles. She's sorted in Gryffindor within in less than a minute and walking over to pick up her book she smirks, wishing me good luck dramatically. _

What had happened since then? And what the hell happened to her arm? Trying to spot it I sigh when all I see is her sleeve before turning to Sirius with a frown, I’ve noticed he never wears short sleeved anything either. And we might be in Scotland, but right now the weather is amazing!

‘’Mr. Potter can you tell me what 5 things directly influence the transformation formula?’’ Minnie’s voice suddenly asks from very close to me. She’s standing right in front of me! Oh shit! Thinking back to about a week ago when I read the books in excitement of Hogwarts I grimace, ‘’I think that’s body weight, letter A in the alphabet, wand power, letter W, concentration, C, an unknown variable, Z and…’’ biting my lip I glance at Sirius, whom shrugs helplessly. Looking past Minnie I spot Hermione whom once catching my eye tries to mouth something to me. Fish? Fish nose? Fishinose? Oh! ‘’And viciousness, letter V’’ I finally finish looking up to the teacher when I see Hermione holding up two fingers in the shape of a V and pointing at it with her other hand.

‘’Well done mister Potter, but viciousness is really important. You should do well not to forget that for miss McGonagall will not always be there to help you.’’ Minnie answers with stern face. Smiling cheekily I shrug, I knew most of them!

**Hermione POV  
**‘’-will not always be there to help you.’’

Blushing at the words of Minerva I smile embarrassingly, at least he understood, would’ve been awkward if he hadn’t! After a couple of minutes of taking notes we’re all given a match to change into a needle. Looking down at it I frown, a couple of days ago I talked to Minerva about my powers and being able to perform everything already. I thought that I should downplay my abilities a little, making myself fit in better. But she had immediately threw that idea away, berating me about never downplaying what I can do.

It’s like when she told me that I should never just exist, I should make friends and live, my old timeline had ceased to exist and everything was being rewritten. So I shouldn’t be afraid to be who I am. If anyone ever asked questions I could simply say that my mother had started teaching me to control my magic on an early age. Which is actually very believable…but still…

Shaking my head I decide to just go for it, you only live once right? Or in my case twice…?

Changing the match in a needle is a very easy spell and so I had quickly changed all my matches before pulling my shields back up, effectively cutting my magic off. When Minerva notices she smiles proudly, ‘’well done miss McGonagall, 5 points to Gryffindor! Now try and turn them back to matches.’’ Nodding I do so in one swift wand movement, lowering my walls as I do so for a split second.

‘’Hermione? Can you maybe help me? I’m kind of stuck…’’ Lily mumbles, seeing me performing the spell perfectly. ‘’Of course! The first time I did the spell I had trouble too’’ I assure her, thinking back to my first class all those years ago, Merlin so much has happened since then…

‘’Really?’’ Lily asks with surprise and I nod, ‘’yes, I started practicing with my mother earlier this year. Thought it would make me more prepared, besides my mother is the Transfiguration teacher, I have it in my blood it seems’’ I chuckle weakly, I really am the worst liar. Lily nods in understanding before we turn our attention on her matches, maybe I’m not the worst liar after all?

‘’Now when you say the spell, try to envision the match changing. Don’t let it be to forced, relax, envision it and say the spell with a flick of your wand’’ I explain. Taking a deep breath Lily nods, closes her eyes and points her wand at her match, muttering the spell softly she flicks her wand. Opening her eyes again she grins excitingly, though the match hadn’t turned completely, it looked a lot like mine the first time. Slightly pointy with a silvery look. ‘’Well done!’’ I exclaim with a grin. ‘’Thank you!!’’ Lily answers excitingly before taking another match and trying again.

At the end of class Lily had gotten one match to completely turn, the others were missing some qualities but she was excited none the less, especially since we along with James and Remus were the only ones to have achieved anything. Though Sirius’s last one was a silver colour too!

Leaving the classroom everyone chats happily whilst making our way down to Potions, which, to Lily’s delight, is with the Slytherins. I didn’t exactly know yet how to feel about this… Maybe it’ll be okay this time without Snape for a professor?

Entering the classroom Lily excuses herself almost immediately to go sit with her best friend, Sev. Sev! I have never in my life heard anyone call Snape, Sev! It’s truly horribly uncomfortable!

Sitting down at the front I drop my bag with a sigh, eyeing professor Slughorn I watch him ogle all the new students. Probably scouting for his club. Thank merlin he wasn’t at the castle during the time I was there these last three months, and though my last potion classes with him were fun, Harry kept me distracted most of the class with that horrible book of his… Glancing at Snape I grimace, that book he’s holding would be the start of the creation of making his own rules.

‘’Hey, can I sit here?’’ Glancing up to Marlene I nod, ‘’course!’’ Sitting down next to me she frowns at the cauldron before looking at a small kettle with beetle eyes. Recoiling at the sight she looks at me, ‘’I’m going to apologize beforehand about my skills. I legitimately suck at potions’’ she says with wide eyes.

Raising my eyebrow I chuckle, ‘’how can you know?’’

Shaking her head she eyes the beetle eyes, ‘’well I had potions at pre-school and if I hadn’t I would’ve known now at the sight of this!’’ she declares, pointing at the eyes and then waving her hand at all the things surrounding it, which were rat tails, snails… a lot of weird looking slimy things and a lot of gross stuff.

‘’Pre- school? Isn’t potions magical?’’ I ask in surprise. ‘’Oh yeah it is, but there’s a wizard preschool, it’s where I know Alice, Peter and James from’’ she explains, ‘’usually the friends you make at preschool are just temporally because of the different houses and some go to different schools or are home schooled… I know some more people, but they’ve been sorted into different houses.’’

‘’Really? Wow that’s pretty cool!’’ And horribly prejudiced, how exactly do they expect muggleborns to keep up then? But I keep my mouth shut, not feeling like getting into a debate now, though of course I’m not sure if Marlene is even against my stand… oh well.

We start talking about pretty random stuff until professor Slughorn starts, saying we should start the year with a bang and make a simple potion. This way he knew a little about what to expect from us.

Turning to Marlene I grin, ‘’shall we make a Herbicide potion?’’ I had the potion on my first year exam so it’s not incredibly difficult yet still showed we could probably pass this year without much difficulties, which hopefully will lead to him leaving us alone. Marlene simply nods, ‘’sure, you just tell me what to do.’’ Nodding I start looking through my book for the potion, ‘’okay, I’ll get the ingredients can you prepare the cauldron?’’ ‘’Sure!’’

Getting to the closet in the back I pick a bottle of Flobberworm mucus, a small vial of Horklump juice, a jar of Lionfish spines and a small bag of standard ingredient before returning to the table. Where I see that Marlene has placed the cauldron perfectly on the burning wood, ‘’see you can totally do this’’ I laugh, putting everything down.

‘’Okay you get 4 spines, can you crush them with the ladle?’’ I ask softly, looking up at her to which she nods slowly, ‘’I can try.’’ ‘’That’s the spirit!’’ I laugh, we proceed with the potion perfectly. After a while I start explaining what every ingredient does as Marlene was asking anyway I simply do so as we proceed the potion.

After having finished the first part we sit back, we need to wait for 60 minutes before proceeding and seeing we have two hours of Potions it isn’t really an issue.

We chat happily, ignoring professor Slughorn completely when he stops to look at our potion.

When the 60 minutes had passed and I had heated the cauldron to the right temperature Marlene added the Horklump juice and the Flobberworm mucus. To which we only had to stir 4 more times and, turning to Marlene I grin, ‘’to you the honor to wave your wand miss’’ I exclaim with a smile.

Grinning Marlene grabbed her wand ‘’why thank you kind lady’’ she giggles. Waving her hand over the potion we look at our finished potion with pride. Most students had picked an easier one and were already finished for a while, they had already left too. But seeing as Marlene and I had fun it didn’t really matter, I don’t think Potions has ever been this fun!

I put a bit of the potion in a vial before we brought it to the professor, ‘’we’re finished sir’’ Marlene said proudly.

When we left she grins excitingly at me, ‘’I actually enjoyed potions for once! Thank you Hermione!’’

Chuckling softly I shake my head, ‘’no problem! Let’s go get some lunch, I need something to make the images of the insides of a Flubberworm disappear!’’ ‘’That’s what that was?!’’ Marlene asks in horror, ‘’and you made me touch them!!’’

Chuckling at the betrayal in her voice I nod, ‘’you didn’t think I was going to touch them now did you?’’ And so we enter the Great Hall still giggling softly. Sitting down next to Lily and Alice, ‘’hey, how’d it go?’’ Lily asked curiously, ‘’what potion did you guys make? It took ages!’’ ‘’Oh we went with the Herbicide potion,’’ Marlene dismisses, ‘’food!!’’ She proceeds to yell out, attacking the poor chicken wings. Chuckling I take some pumpkin pasties with a Cornish pasty and some vegetables. Though not before noticing the small frown on Lily’s face, is there something wrong?

‘’So Hermione what are your plans today?’’ Alice asks with a sweet smile, it’s incredible how much the girl reminds me of Neville, both are truly kind and just… I’m not entirely sure why exactly Alice reminds me of Neville so much, she just really does. I wonder what Frank’s like?

‘’Well, after 6th period I’m going to my mum, she wants to know how my first day went. And I think I’m going to the library to finish my homework after dinner. I like finishing my homework the day we get it, that way I don’t forget about it’’ I shrug, taking a bite from my pastry.

Hearing the word library Lily perked up, ‘’oh Hermione can I join? I could really use your help with Transfiguration!’’ she asked. Nodding I swallow quickly before answering, ‘’sure, it’ll be fun.’’

‘’You know I’d ask to join, but I really don’t look forward to sitting in the library all evening so I’ll pass’’ Marlene says cheerily, Alice thinking a little before shrugging, ‘’I might join, depends on Charms…’’ Smiling I nod, turning back to my food and taking a bite out of my apple. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rowling's world, not mine :/


	5. We all wonder...

**Sirius POV  
**Sitting down next to James in the common room I sigh deeply, ‘’is there anything fun we can do?’’ I ask dramatically. James has quickly become my closest friend here ever since meeting him on the train, though Remus and Peter too! They're a tad shy tough. 

Looking up from the game of chess he was playing with Remus James shrugs, ‘’go think of a new prank to pull on Snivellus?’’ Hmm that could work… ‘’why did you do that?’’ Remus asks James, mock glaring at him, ‘’you should know better than to bring him on ideas!’’

Shrugging James smirks, ‘’Snivellus has it coming for him.’’ ‘’You got that right!’’ I agree with James. We’ve been at Hogwarts for three weeks now, and Snivellus is the worst person here, Evans coming in on a close third. Second place is for all the other Slytherins, obviously.

Hermione and Marlene are a shaky number 4, but they're honestly not all that bad, it’s just fun pranking them. And surprisingly Hermione never snaps at us, she usually chuckles and congratulates us with the win, Marlene just yells before they stick their heads together and come up with a retaliation plan. Evans and the Slytherins obviously react and retaliate, but that’s usually with arguments and the occasional fight. Hermione and Marlene retaliate by pranking us, and dare I say it? They're not bad at it.

Quickly my eyes find the girls in question sitting in the corner, Hermione busy explaining something, probably potions, to Marlene. The two are potion partners which I knew, but yesterday I learned from Remus that apparently Marlene is _really_ bad at it. She’s depending fully on Hermione to drag her up and well, she’s doing a good job at it because Marlene’s grades are pretty damn good. I don’t even remember why we were talking about them in the first place though, maybe because James was asking about it? The guy thinks there’s something up with Hermione, but I say he’s just losing it.

Turning back to James and Remus I sigh dramatically, ‘’where’s Pete?’’ ‘’Detention’’ Remus answers softly, keeping his eyes on the board thoughtfully. ‘’The one you should be serving too’’ James chuckles, glancing at me with a smirk before returning to the board. ‘’And you!’’ I point out with a laugh before shrugging.

‘’Hey, it’s not our fault we were faster to run away than Petey! Maybe he should try to get in shape a little…’’ Scoffing James looks up at me, ‘’are you kidding me? _You_ should try to get in shape, mister James-slow-down-I-think-I-have-a-knife-in-my-chest! I think Remus and I are the only ones with a little shape here!’’ Rolling my eyes I smirk slightly, ‘’no need to be rude about it’’ I exclaim fake-sad. Alright then, pranks on Snivellus…

Digging my hands in my pockets I stiffen, my fingers curling around the letter in my pocket. Fuck. Jumping up I grin weakly at James and Remus, ‘’I need to… see yea!!’’ Racing off I jump out of the common room down the hall to the left take a right here ah! Entering the abandoned classroom I pull out the red letter that had been in my pocket.

Smoke is coming from the edges of letter and my fingers shaking I peel of the seal. It can’t be too bad, it won’t be too bad, it’s going to be fine!

The seal is off and the red envelope hovers in the air for a moment, my heart is thrumming in my ears as I stare at it until finally it flings open. I’m not sure if I expected my mother to be shouting or not, but shock and fear trickles down in my stomach when it’s my father’s voice that starts to speak from the envelope.

‘’Sirius. We heard the news of your sorting. As well as your newfound friendship with the blood traitors. To say we are displeased would be an understatement. We had expected more of you and we will make sure that during the holidays you understand you will _not_ disappoint us again. Your mother is in such a state that she has been unable to speak to anyone for days now and we will expect a letter soon with a full explanation. But we will have to make due, for you are to be the heir of the Black family name and we _will_ make sure you become perfect for the role before you turn seventeen. This best just be a phase, Sirius Orion, for we will _not_ tolerate anything less. Expect another letter soon when your mother has recovered from the shock, she is extremely displeased with you at the moment. Your father.’’

Swallowing I stare at the sizzling envelope lying on the desk. Fear clutching my chest I shake my head, it could’ve been worse. It could’ve been a lot worse, they’re willing to work with this. They're accepting it. ‘’_Y__ou understand you will _not_ disappoint us again_.’’ The words echo in my mind and stepping back from the envelope I swallow, tears prickling in my eyes I race from the room.

**Hermione POV**  
‘’Hey Hermione’’ looking up I smile at Lily, ‘’hey’’ I greet before turning back to my book, _The Seer Sees All_, what a disgrace reading this! I still despise divination, even though it’s pretty much a fact I’m a seer now, the books about the subjects are still a load of rubbish.

I’ve been training with Minerva at least once a week, if we’re free we try to train twice a week. And sure, it’s sort of paying off. It takes less stress for example to keep my wall up? And we hope that because of this the next step will be able to use my magic _whilst_ keeping my walls up. Though other than that there has been no real progress. Minerva is enthusiastic about my ability of meeting people and looking through their life later on when I get back home but I haven’t quite seen the use in that yet. I can only see big events and it only works if I’ve seen the person in question’s eyes in real life _and_ I don’t have my wall up.

Though I appreciate her excitement about it, and the trips to muggle London are fun. (I refused to look into the life of anyone I know, so I have to train on random muggles on the street…) You won’t believe how much energy it took us to convince Dumbledore this was in fact a good idea, but we succeeded and now I spend every Saturday wandering around muggle London with Minerva, isn’t life wonderful?!

I’ve been training on being able to see the big events without a touch or a look, or at least, not a look in their eyes. But so far I’ve only succeeded once, before failing for the rest of the day… But like I said, the most important thing of being able to access my magic whilst controlling my sight is still impossible for me. And the mind training I do every evening is incredibly draining, worth it if there’s ever going to be a result for sure. But there’s yet to be a result… And also, gaining control over seeing people’s life took me nearly half a year to learn!!

Groaning I drag a hand through my hair, even this book makes my brain want to jump out and start running around screaming! Which really is what I’ve been wanting to do for weeks now.

‘’So.. what are your plans for the holidays?’’ Looking up I shrug, ‘’I’m staying here, don’t really have anywhere else to go.’’ Also looking up, but from her Charms essay, Lily nods, ‘’right of course, because your mum lives here, sorry.’’

Laughing I turn the page of my book, ‘’what for?’’ I’ve noticed lately that Lily says sorry for everything. _Everything_. Even when it’s not her fault, or when nothing even happened! Blushing Lily shrugs, ‘’I don’t know… sorry.’’ Raising my eyebrows I smile, ‘’where are you going for the Christmas?’’ ‘’Actually I’m also staying, my parents are in America for a month for work. And I’m not sure if I want to spend two weeks with my sister and her boyfriend’’ Lily answers with a shrug. ‘’Oh really? Why not?’’ ‘’Oh uh, Tuney and I don’t really get along much anymore. We used to be really close, but when I became friends with Severus she pulled away,’’ shrugging she continues with a grimace, ‘’we found a letter she wrote to Dumbledore asking if she could come too. Stupid me actually confronted her about it!’’ Now laughing sarcastically she looks down at her parchment, ‘’ever since I got my letter she’s been ignoring me. Even mum and dad don’t mention her in their letters, I just.. I know she’s the reason. Sometimes mum mentions here, but only short, like, Petunia is okay too, Petunia and Vernon are coming over for dinner tonight…’’

Ah, of course. I didn’t realize Petunia would be dating Vernon already.

‘’Oh well, like I said, we’re not close. Two weeks with just her? No thank you, she’d probably lock me up and feed me like some animal!’’ Laughing she pushes her hair behind her ear, but like _what_!? Petunia would already do that now?! When she’s only what? Fifteen?!?! To her own _sister_?!?!

Taking a deep breath I look at Lily with a frown, ‘’you really think she would do that?’’ ‘’What? No… I don’t think so at least…’’ Shaking my head I grimace, what would Ron do at a moment like this? He’s always been more in touch with his emotions than me. ‘’I’m so sorry… you know what? Let’s make this the best Christmas ever!’’ Grinning I continue, ‘’actually, I was thinking with Marley? Because James and Sirius are staying too what do you say about a little… lesson for the lads? No one messes with Gryffindor girls and just.. walks away!’’ I’m mostly copying Marlene’s words now but you know, they worked when I was down!

‘’What? Like prank them?!’’ Lily asks, visibly surprised. ‘’Don’t you want to get back at them for bullying Snape?’’ Nodding slowly Lily hesitates, ‘’I suppose… wait, what? Since when do you call Severus, Snape?’’ ‘’What? He’s not actually my friend Lily, he’s never been exceptionally kind to me. Or you know… at all…’’ In reality Snape and I ignore each other, I’ve made no attempts to approach him and he seems to believe I’m friends with the horrible Marauders so I must be horrible also. Even though I’m not exactly friends with them either, we just have… mutual respect? Let’s put it like that. Though honestly sometimes I feel like I could slap them into the next century. Which I might have done on an occasion or two.

‘’Oh…’’ Lily mumbles.

Laughing I stand up, ‘’think about it yes?’’ Closing my book I pick it up. ‘’Where are you going?’’ Lily asks in surprise and I roll my eyes, ‘’someone needs me and is too afraid to enter the library, now just think about it and let me know!’’ I reply, nodding to Marlene who was standing in the door way looking very uncomfortable. Chuckling Lily nods, ‘’alright I’ll think about it.’’

Leaving the library I fall in step with Marlene, ‘’what’s up?’’ I ask, glancing at her. ‘’I have news on the idiots activities!’’ She replies with a grin, revering to mainly James and Sirius, though Remus and Peter are a little implied.

‘’Alright, what is it?’’

Marlene proceeds to tell me all about the prank she overheard the boys discuss about pulling on the Slytherins of our year. Those boys don’t even know what’s coming for them, I swear. Right now Marlene and I are only preparing for the battle, because for one to fight the enemy, one must _know_ the enemy. And so, I’ve been hearing daily updates on the boys activities, how Marlene even knows about them I don’t know, but honestly I don’t think I even want to know either… She’s the one that had the idea in the first place because they pulled a prank on her wardrobe, I don’t think I’ll ever want to be on her bad side…

Christmas Holidays came incredibly quickly though and the first evening of it after Alice, Candice and Millie had left we all gathered in our dormitory to talk battle plans. Transfiguring a chair into a schoolboard I hand the crayon I’d stolen from Minerva to Marlene. ‘’So! Who wants to start with suggestions?!’’ Marlene exclaims, turning to us with a smirk.

Glancing at Lily I shrug, ‘’let’s keep it simple first?’’ ‘’Brilliant!’’ Marlene nods, turning to the whiteboard and writing in large letters HAIR in the middle of the board. ‘’Their _weakness_, we must attack the hair! It’ll hurt their pride the most, and that is what we must destroy.’’ Patting her arm Lily grimaces, ‘’who hurt you Marley?’’ To which Marlene only huffed before grinning.

‘’So dying it would be the easy way to go, you know? But it’s _such_ a classic!’’ Marlene then continued, writing it down on the board before turning back to us. ‘’Though I get you guys about the hair, it’s not _just_ that though is it? It’s their pride in total, their image means the world to them!’’ Lily asks once she’s back on the ground next to me.

Nodding I grimace, what could we do to hurt their image? Damn I wish Fred and George were here right now… We can make them _think_ we’re bald? A simple illusion charm would do the trick, maybe it’s too basic though? Need to dig deeper… Though simple things are usually so simple that no one seems to figure out the trick…?

Marshmallow climbs on my lap just as I’m about to mention it, he’s a beautiful cat really. He’s grown to be a beautiful white cat with incredibly short legs that just look too adorable for words. Kiki on the other side seems to still be growing, and if I had not looked up what a Maine Coon even was I would’ve worried she might be a lion after all. She’s become the unspoken mascot of the house with her resemblance to the lion, even if she’s currently still a normal cat’s height. Though because she’s been dubbed the house mascot, people have also began calling her Godric… I don’t think anyone but me calls her Kiwi anymore… but oh well..

Returning my attention to the board I listen to Marlene and Lily discuss prank to deep in the night. Marlene and I had already planned our first prank weeks ago and we set it into motion about an hour ago. It’ll hit them in the face tomorrow morning, and if we’re right they’ll definitely retaliate. Which will then start the Christmas war.

I had thought about this really long before agreeing with Marlene, my memories about war aren’t really pleasant, so maybe to have an earnest 11 year old war makes me relax a little when anyone says the word.

War.

**Lily POV  
**Waking up with a groan I look to my side tiredly, what time is it? Glancing to my left I shoot up in shock, what the hell? Rushing to Hermione’s side I reach out to her, she’s sobbing and trashing wildly on the bed we all fell asleep on last night. Marlene had apparently fallen off somewhere during and was napping peacefully on the ground with a towel as blanket. ‘’Marlene!!’’ Hissing her name I rush over to her side of the bed, ‘’_Marlene_!! Get up!!’’ ‘’Whaaat? Yesche odnu minute… pozhaluysta, mama…’’ ‘’What?!! Marlene!!’’ ‘’What?!! I’m up, I’m up! Where’s the fire?!’’

‘’Please… _please_… I don’t… I don’t know!!! Please _no_!! Noooooo!’’ A scream escapes her mouth and tears start rolling down her cheeks from closed eyes. ‘’We need to do something!’’ Biting my lip I try to put my hand son Hermione’s shoulders softly, ‘’Hermione…’’ I whisper but she only starts to trash more underneath my touch. ‘’Hermione you’re okay! You’re safe!’’ But she doesn’t hear me and is pressing back in the bed so desperately to get away from my touch I quickly back away.

Another scream erupts from her throat and she starts clawing at her arm desperately. ‘’Marlene go get het mother!’’ But Marlene is already gone, hopefully to just that. Seeing blood pool from Hermione’s arm I yelp and grab her arms again to try and keep her from harming herself. But it seems I’m too late, the blood covers my arm and I hiss as my eyes zoom in on the wound that’s creating this mess. It’s not just a cut or scratches. _Letters_. Not just any letters. _Mudbl_\- It doesn’t take a genius to fill in the rest.

Hermione feeling me freezing up threw me off with a surprising amount of strength before reaching for her arm again, unknowingly pulling her bandage back up to cover the words just as the door bursts open again. She’s still screaming and trashing as McGonagall sits down next to her on the bed, reaching over to the girl carefully. ‘’Thank you for getting me Marlene, now please take Lily to wait outside. Now.’’

What? No! But Marlene quickly takes me outside, closing the door behind us and the screaming immediately stop. ‘’What are you doing!? We need to help her!’’ ‘’We can’t help her, Lily. And do you really think she’d want us to see her like this?’’ Marlene whispers, her eyes closed as she leans against the wall. This isn’t the first time. Staring at her I sit down next to her on the floor, ‘’when?’’

‘’About a month ago? Hermione and I decided to have a sleep over at her mother’s chambers.’’ Stifling a sob I stare at the stairs. My _best_ friend. Yes, my best friend. Severus is my best friend too, but Hermione is _always_ there for me, Marlene and even those stupid boys. How could someone so kind suffer like this?!

I’m not sure how much time has passed when McGonagall steps outside again, only now do I notice she’s still wearing her sleeping wear with a robe over it. Her hair in a loose braid down her back and even still wearing slippers.

‘’She’s calmed down again, thank you for getting me.’’ Glancing at us she smiles tightly, ‘’she’s had a hard past, Hermione. And once she’s ready I’m sure she’ll tell you, but please…’’ ‘’We understand Minnie, we’ll respect her privacy’’ Marlene nods, and I frown. But upon meeting McGonagalls eyes I nod, ‘’of course.’’

Entering the dormitory again I glance at Hermione’s bed, but the curtains were drawn closed. Swallowing I lay down in my bed, staring at the ceiling I can’t even begin to think about sleep. Who carved that horrible word in her arm? And most importantly, why?

**Hermione POV  
**Entering the Great Hall I stifle a laugh at the sight of James and Sirius, our prank yesterday went smoothly, in the morning I woke up and Marlene almost instantly informed me I had woken up the girls with my nightmares. Of course I had completely forgotten about the fact I still have them when we fell asleep after discussing pranks all night.

Ever since Lily’s been giving me strange looks, but she hasn’t said anything yet. Though probably it won’t be long until that long until she does, considering she’s already tried three or four times.

Anyway! The prank, yes, it was great! Marlene and I had spend _hours_ on perfecting the spell and to see the final result yesterday was definitely satisfying.

_Sitting down at the Gryffindor table Marlene and Lily spend the entire time staring at the door with excitement bubbling in our stomachs. I’m mostly busy enjoying a wonderful sandwich with peanut butter when they finally enter, Marlene immediately shoving me and nodding at them. They had entrusted me to cast the spell, saying with me it was most likely to succeed. So I secretly point my wand at them underneath the table and mutter the incantation. A small shiver flows over them and grinning I pocket my wand, it was all the confirmation I needed. Picking up my sandwich I watch the two boys out of the corner of my eyes whilst Marlene readied her camera, ‘’I couldn’t possibly miss such a chance!’’ She had exclaimed earlier. _

_The spell in itself is way funnier than we possibly could’ve hoped for, it was supposed to make you unable to touch anything, simply put. And thus we had expected them to try and grab something in vain. We had _not_ counted on James just stepping over the bench to sit down and promptly falling through and landing on the ground on his back. Nor had we counted on Sirius _leaning_ on the table and passing right through the wood to fall flat on his face. Causing Marlene to burst out in laughing so loudly we immediately attracted the attention of the entire student body that had stayed behind for Christmas. Remus and Peter first watched their friends in confusion before Remus reached over and tried to pick up a plate. Peter following his example the two boys realized they were both in the same predicament as their friends. _

_Couldn't just prank one of the Marauders could we now? Giggling I cover my mouth, Merlin they look absolutely ridiculous! Sirius even tries again, James kicking the bench with confusion, especially when he actually _hits_ the bench. Seeing as Marlene and I had decided that whatever the foot touched was immune to the spell, since they’d otherwise might pass through the castle? We didn’t want to test it! To assure this theory we applied a mild sticking charm to their feet, so would they fall their feet wouldn’t lift immediately. Walking over to us Sirius glares angrily, ‘’you know what this means right!?’’ To which James declares loudly, ‘’WAR!!’’ Before both storm away from the hall, Remus and Peter following with confusion on the latter’s face._

That afternoon they’d come to me in great despair, saying they were absolutely starving and if I’d please feed them. I swear I’ve never relished in someone else’s misery so much as I did in that moment, I’ve been putting up with their pranks for months okay!! Still they tried to pry the counter spell from me, and I had been delighted to tell them to shove it. Besides, I pointed out to them, they’re the ones who declared war so maybe I shouldn’t even feed them. They’d been quiet for sometime before coming to me to inform me that exceptions should be made.

They’d somehow gotten me to feed them for an entire hour straight, all four boys entirely too specific in what they desired. Who doesn’t like cucumber?! (Sirius)!!

Chuckling at the memory I sit down next to Marlene, ‘’what’s for dinner?’’ Looking up she rolls her eyes, ‘’nothing good for you I can guarantee.’’ Marlene is firmly against the idea of being vegetarian and she isn’t shy about saying so. Rolling my eyes I look over the table before helping myself to some wok veggies.

I’m half way through dinner when Lily stops in front of us, her eyes shifting between me and Marlene nervously. ‘’Uhm… Hermione? Can I… can I please talk to you?’’ She asks nervously. Ah, she finally decided she wants to tell me what’s been bothering her. ‘’Sure’’ I say, waving her over to the empty seat next to me.

Sitting down slowly she sends Marlene a look, whom promptly stands up, ‘’so dinner was fun I’ve got to… do… stuff… bye!’’ She says cheerily before leaving quickly.

‘’So what is it?’’ I ask, turning to Lily giving her my attention. ‘’I’ve noticed something’s bothering you lately, is it something I did?’’ I then ask seeing her hesitate.

‘’You did?! Oh no Hermione not all, it’s just… you know that nightmare you had?’’ She then asked, ah… Marlene had asked me about it as well. Nodding at her to continue Lily does, ‘’well uh… when Marlene went to get professor McGonagall you uh… you started scratching your arm… and uh your uh… your bandage kinda moved…’’ she mumbles. What?

Oh… oh! My eyes widening I look down, ‘’you saw…’’ I mumble, not even asking. ‘’Well not everything! But uh…’’ ‘’But you got the gist of it’’ I finish for her, nodding. 

‘’Well yea… mudbl- isn’t really difficult to finish’’ Lily mumbles, blushing red. I nod slowly, thinking about Ron I take a deep breath and smile, somehow thinking about Ron helps me be… nicer, ‘’well I suppose I should explain…’’ I say slowly. Where to start? Minerva and I came up with a cover story about my background for when anyone asked, that horrible word was a tad difficult though, well, my supposed father was a muggle, so I can give that for explanation?

‘’So last year , I think it was around May’’ yea it’s December, woah already 8 months ago ‘’my home was attacked. My father got killed without a second glance but they thought to have some fun with me,’’ I shrug blankly, ‘’I guess they were trying to get a message across to my mother… or maybe even everyone? That even a half-blood wasn’t worthy to be called magical.’’

Looking down at my arm I sigh, ‘’they gave me another large cut over my stomach and then left me to die. I would’ve if my mother didn’t come that day to go to lunch with me, she got me to the hospital and I’ve stayed at Hogwarts ever since.’’ Looking up I smile sadly, the pain suddenly obvious in my heart, not for a made up father I never knew, but for my old life, for Harry, Ron, my real parents, Ginny, even Remus and Tonks I missed. Oh and the twins, with all their antics! And the hugs and always sweet questions of Molly and Arthur about how I was doing, or the strange advise from Luna and the shy confidence of Neville… The pain hits me like a crack, a void in my heart, somehow it hurts more now than it had all those months ago.

Pulling the crying Lily in for a hug, I frown, I don’t shed any tears. I’ve shed too many already. I don’t cry, not anymore, though as I look up at the sky of the Great Hall I made myself relax, watching how the clouds became lighter, but the strain was still there, I try to ignore the confused mumbles of the students.

‘’Oh Hermione that’s horrible!’’ Lily sobs, ‘’I’m okay though, I’m fine, just some nightmares now and then’’ I mumble. ‘’Still’’ I got for a quiet reply.

Sighing deeply I don’t say anything, I just let Lily cry.

Maybe that’s why thinking about Ron and Harry help me in moments like this, I’ve never been good at being in touch with ones emotions. But Ron? And Harry? They always knew just what to do, sometimes it took a while for them to realize but at least they eventually did, I never seemed to be able to. And now? I just, I just try and do what they did for me in moments like these, when Harry offered me his shoulder to cry on, or Ron just hugged me without saying anything. Because really, words aren’t needed during moment like these. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rowling's world, not mine :/


	6. Chapter 6

**James POV**  
‘’It’s brilliant!’’

‘’Nothing can go wrong.’’

‘’Absolutely nothing!’’

Sirius and I agree with each other, that’s good. Grinning I nod, it’s been almost three days since we’ve declared war on Hermione and Marlene, and to some extent Evans. Now that I think about it, Hermione and Marlene are now officially McGonagall and McKinnon, like proper enemies! But anyways, finally our sweet revenge will befall them, it will show them _just_ who they’re dealing with!

Looking over to the girls I frown, shoving Sirius to get his attention. ‘’Look’’ I mumble, Evans is crying and staring at Hermione… uh… McGonagall when she’s pulled into a hug by McGonagall. Wow McGonagall is really weird… like Hermione is Minnie, ew. They stay in a hug for a while when Evans pulls back, shaking her head and mumbling something.

I’m not able to see what happens next for Sirius pulls me down on the bench, ‘’come on we need to go over our plans one more time.’’ He states, glancing at the girls nervously whom, I now see, are chuckling softly. Maybe it wasn’t that bad, they’re girls after all, they like being dramatic!

‘’Yea okay’’ I agree, tomorrow’s going to be great!

The next morning Sirius, Remus, Peter and I are sitting in the common room with huge grins, the spell had been pretty tough but with the help of Remus and some books from the library, yes we actually went to the library for it, we got it to work.

And we weren’t disappointed with the reaction we got, the girls all ran out of their dorm _screaming_ and cursing our names, whilst being absolutely soaking wet!!

‘’SIRIUS FREAKING BLACK AND JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER ALL MY CLOTHES, ALL MY SHIT, _ME_, IT’S ALL FUCKING WET’’ Marlene’s scream is the first thing that reaches us. Throwing in a lot more colourful words behind it. Grinning Hermione walks over to us, ‘’oh, that war you mentioned? You’re definitely getting one now!’’ She tells us and meeting my eyes she smirks almost knowingly. ‘’Wouldn’t have it any other way McGonagall’’ I reply with a smirk, she raises her eyebrows at the name and I can see something change in her eyes before she smiles coldly. ‘’You’ll be sorry, Potter.’’ She hisses right before turning and returning to her friends.

I’ll admit that I like the idea of her calling me Potter less than me calling her McGonagall, but war is war right!? Turning my attention back on the girls I grin, the rest of the Gryffindors had also come down to see what all the fuss was about and I think McKinnon is about to explode!

Hermione is busy casting drying charms on them all though when Sirius decides to call out with a laugh, ‘’like the pj’s girls!’’ Before doubling over in laughter.

Now looking at them myself I start laughing too, Evans is wearing a blue one with small quills drawn all over them. McKinnon is wearing black sparkly shorts which a pink _DIVA_ written on the back with a top that spelled, _QUEEN_, Queen Diva, now if anyone were to earn that name…

But Hermione’s is by far the best, yellow with on the top written, _I’m a smarty pants_, with a drawing of blue pants that wore glasses underneath. Sadly though the pants she wore didn’t have glasses, it was the same blue though…

Turning to look at us Evans glares whilst McKinnon breaks a small smile, having dried up because of Hermione. Before her face turns into horror, ‘’MY HAIR’’ she screeches, almost starting to run back upstairs before changing her mind and turning to Hermione in fear, ‘’give it to me, how bad is it?’’ She whispers. ‘’Oh Marls is terrifying, come quickly, we’ll go to my mum’s quarters’’ Hermione replies with a small smile. Marlene isn’t very pleased with the answer, but follows anyway, in my opinion her hair’s fine, the same icy blonde curls as always after all. Though I’ve known her all my life and I’ve seen it in _far_ worse conditions.

Right before leaving Marlene, damn it!!! _McKinnon_ turns around, ‘’watch your backs boys, because you’ve just poked the dragon.. no.. you’ve just poked the _harpy_’’ she hisses, smirking evilly as her eyes flash a dangerous red. She almost scares me, but I’ll be damned if some girls get the best of me!

**Hermione POV  
**‘’Hermione!! Hermione!!’’

‘’hmphhh’’

‘’Hermione get your arse out of bed!!’’

‘’Grpffhhh’’

‘’HERMIONE MCGONAGALL GET A MOVE ON’’

Opening my eyes tiredly I see Marlene jump up and down next to me, ‘’what??’’ Looking at the clock I groan again, ‘’Marlene!! It’s 4 am! Even I don’t get up that early!’’

‘’It’s Christmas!!!’’ Marlene shouts, ignoring me completely, now turning to Lily to proceed waking her up too.

Pulling myself up I go to the bathroom in a haze, standing under the shower I’m not sure if I’m crying or not. My first Christmas without Harry and Ron… Swallowing I lean against the wall, thinking back to Minerva’s words.

_‘’Hermione listen to me!’’ Minerva hisses with a stern look, grabbing my shoulders gently, ‘’I know this will be difficult, this will be awful for you. You’ll recognize people and you’ll want to either stay away from them or want to come close to them because of who they remind you off. But think about Harry, your best friend. Think about Ron, Ginny, Neville, Luna, everyone you held dear, would they want you to just exist? They’d want you to live Hermione, they’d want you to take this second chance and make the best of it. You can save them and together we will, I’ll always be there for you and even though you won’t be able to see them, Harry and Ron are here for you too. They love you, they want you to live in the fullest, I’m sure of it’’ staring me in the eyes she smiles softly, ‘’don’t forget them, but don’t let them hold you back, let nothing hold you back Hermione. Never hide, never hold back and never think you’re alone. _Live_, if not for them do it for yourself. You’ve earned it.’’ _

She had given me the speech on the morning that the students would return from Hogwarts. I had been stressing all night and nearly convinced myself I should just hide out in some room for the whole year instead when she found me. I had been _this_ close to crying, that’s how paralyzing the fear had been. But she talked me out of it, she helped me remember what I wanted to achieve in my life.

And she recognized the fact that though I had agreed to change the future, I hadn’t fully realized that also meant I would have to be in the same year as the Marauders, Lily or even Alice. It wasn’t until that morning it truly hit me Harry and Ron wouldn’t be the one I’d be sitting with at the fire anymore, that they were well and truly gone. The only ones that I could trust a _hundred_ present, no matter how many mistakes they’d made. They were the ones that would always be there for me, _always_.

Shaking my head I leave the shower, _live life in the fullest, _isn’t that exactly what I’ve been doing? The pranking war with Potter and Black had been hilarious, we’d gone to call each other by the last names like real eleven year old’s would, and the pranks had actually been really fun. Fred and George would be proud of me. 

The castle or a house got pulled into the war at some points, when they had, for example, put a charm on the food in the great hall that would give you animal features, but since they couldn’t exactly pin point our exact food they’d simply cast it on everything.

Much like Marlene and I had hidden invisible alarms all over the boys dormitories, whilst most were in the 1st years we thought it would be fun to do every room. All the boys were grumpy for the whole week since a different one would go off all the time and they were incredibly hard to find with subtle notice me not charms and magical set alarms that turned on and off randomly.

Dressing myself in simple jeans and a Christmas sweater I went downstairs. We, _Marlene and Sirius_, had laid down a truce for Christmas. Afterwards though the war will continuing with full fire, none of us ready to back off _just_ yet. 

Marlene is already sitting on the ground, sorting the presents whilst Lily is on the couch, her blanket pulled around herself tightly as she tries to keep her eyes open. Sitting down next to her I chuckle, ‘’tough morning huh?’’ ‘’How are you still alive?’’ She only whimpered.

‘’Okaaayyyy, Hermione these are yours, Lily you’ll find yours if you care to look down and these are mine!’’ Marlene said proudly, waving at a pile in front of my feet when she talked about my presents before moving her hand to Lily’s and her own pile.

Laughing I nod, grabbing the gifts I open them with a smile, pushing the thoughts about not getting a Weasley sweater this year out of my mind. From Marlene I get a cute dress, perfectly my size, ‘’maybe you can come over during the summer? We could go for a swim together!’’ She exclaims when she noticed me holding it, extending the invitation to Lily as well. From Lily I get a book about where to find the best bookstores around the world. Of course I’d get a book about books! Chuckling softly I continue unpacking. Alice has send me the cutest cat collars for Munchkin and Kiwi/Godric, she very subtly had put the name Godric on… Hagrid got me a large box of honey dukes sweets and… _Slughorn_ had sent me a fancy invitation to the Slug Christmas party with a pair of fancy gloves. Knowing him though they’ll probably disappear in a day or two..

Minerva’s gift to me is a photo book with pictures of me and my friends, including Peter, Remus, James and Sirius. Whom, according to the rules, _are_ my friends at the moment because of the truce. Though Peter I usually avoid because keeping my magic from lashing out was rather difficult when I see him, even though he looks so different from the man I knew, the thoughts wouldn’t stop plagiarizing me. He’s a very different person now, yes… but… I don’t know, I just haven’t found a way to separate the Peter I remember from the nervous boy I now know.

And finally I got a present from… well my friends-that-aren’t-my-friends-right-now-besides-the-truce, they give me large pants that are wearing glasses, aka my pajamas, and a box of sweets. Laughing at the pants I put everything aside and look at the two other girls. Marlene is eating sweets whilst flipping to a magazine looking extremely pleased with herself so I turn to Lily, whom just finished opening her presents and is now looking down in disappointed. ‘’Hey Lils what’s wrong? Didn’t like your presents?’’

Looking up she giggles softly, ‘’no I loved them, thanks for the book!’’ Of course I got her a book as well! ‘’No problem, so what’s up?’’ I ask curiously, rolling my shoulders to release some tension, it really is a bit too early to start the day, ‘’I didn’t get anything from my sister’’ she mumbles, looking crestfallen.

Nodding in understanding I grimace slightly before pulling her in a hug, I can almost call myself a decent hugger if I do say so myself ‘’did you send her one?’’ I ask. ‘’Yeah..’’

‘’Well then at least you were nice,’’ I whisper, ‘’she’ll come around one day Lils, just give her time!’’

Frowning at the lie I told I sigh, well better that than telling her the truth at least. Maybe I should see Petunia’s future? Can see what things could get her to like Lily again? I can talk about it with Minerva next time I see her.

‘’Now let’s go, it’s already 6 and I’m hungry’’ I exclaim, seeing that Lily obviously needs the distraction. ‘’Wait Hermione there’s one more present for you!’’ Marlene exclaims, looking up in surprise I accept the package she handed to me, it’s a large soft present and opening I gasp softly. No way… ‘’She didn’t…’’ I mutter, looking for the card I hold my hand in front of my mouth with a gasp, tears are swimming in my eyes and oh Merlin don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

I pull the sweater from the package, holding back a whimper, it’s a dark parchment colored jumper with in golden thread an H knitted in. A real Weasley jumper… ‘’What is it!?’’ Marlene exclaims, sitting down next to me, taking the card from my hand she reads it out loud, ‘_’I knew Christmas would be hard on you, so I thought I could give you a little reminder of home. I got some help and she’d really like to meet you for tea, I’m thinking tomorrow for brunch? Maybe it’ll help, love mum!_ Awe that’s so sweet of her!’’

Swallowing back a sob I pull my other sweater off over my head and put the Weasley one on quickly, I can’t believe Minerva remembered me telling her about the parchment colored jumper I got every Christmas from Molly! Marlene didn’t ask anything about it and we quickly brought all our presents upstairs. Starting the walk to the stairs, my arms filled with the presents I meet James’s eyes, whom is looking at me with wide worried eyes. Probably saw my almost break down… luckily it was _almost_ though, and I do believe I recovered quite well.

Once all our presents are safely on our beds we all quickly go down stairs, Marlene chatting excitedly.

Entering the Great Hall we notice surprisingly many students for this time, every friend group seems to have one excited bouncing friend, a Marlene, whilst the others are either scowling at the time or enjoying breakfast since they couldn’t go back to redo it anyways. Much like Lily is currently scowling at her plate whilst muttering about stupid Marlene and her voice, and me sitting calmly, after all there _isn’t _anything to do about it..

Once we are halfway through breakfast James and Sirius bounce in, of course they both are a Marlene! That image is entirely too amusing, seeing the two boys flip their hair whilst bouncing down the stairs for the presents to continue flipping through a fashion magazine for a dress they would pick out.

My giggling turning into a laugh and I cover my mouth in attempt to stop it.

‘’What’s so funny?’’ Lily asked gruffly, ‘’oh nothing’’ I mumble, before snorting when I see them get the e_xact same_ breakfast Marlene got, breaking into a louder chuckling, somehow I haven’t brought myself to fully laugh yet since arriving here, and it needed to get out of my system. At least that’s why I think it’s so funny. Sometimes stupid things are just ridiculously funny!

Seeing the confused look on my friends faces I try explaining, which is very difficult as I’m laughing, but thankfully Lily seemed to understand, cracking a smile too before starting to laugh when Marlene and the boys all exclaim at the same time, ‘’what?!’’ in a very indigenous voice.

But we just continue laughing, choosing not to collaborate. ‘’How rude’’ Marlene mumbles, to which James and Sirius nod in agreement.

When Lily suddenly realizes she’s sitting near the two boys she stands up calmly, excusing herself to go say hi to _Sev_ after giving the guys a dirty look. I really don’t think I’ll ever get used to the word Sev, it’s just too weird.

‘’So what’d you think of our present?’’ Sirius asked with a smirk, grinning I nod, ‘’impressive, what’d you think of mine?’’ I reply with an equal smirk. To which both boys start laughing, ‘’absolutely brilliant!’’ James replies before shaking his head at something, ‘’look’’ he mumbles under his breath to Sirius I frown at what he was talking about for a moment before I follow his eyes.

Lily’s hugging Snape and chatting about something excitedly, ‘’disgusting’’ Sirius mumbles, I shoot them a glare and am about to say something when Marlene speaks up.

‘’Wait you guys got each other presents?’’ she asks with raised eyebrows. ‘’Of course’’ I nod, ‘’we’re on a truce today right?’’ Seeing her face I add with a laugh ‘’we didn’t plan it or anything, I just thought it would be a funny.’’ ‘’Yeah we did too,’’ Sirius agrees with a grin, ‘’though we’re still at war McGonagall!’’ he warns me, making me nod, ‘’oh you didn’t think I’d back down now did you Black?’’ I replied fake surprised, but I can’t ignore the nagging feeling in my stomach as I watch Lily and Snape.

I never knew Lily and Snape were friends in my time, now though it made me question a lot, if they’re such good friends why the hell did Snape hate Harry so much? Surely it can’t possibly be because of the hatred to James? If Harry’s mother was Snape’s _best friend_?! I remember Harry telling me Snape called Lily a mudblood though, he wouldn’t do that if they’re best friends either right?

Yet another point I’ll need to take up to Minerva.

Sirius only laughs and shakes his head before replying, ‘’I hadn’t even expected it for a moment!’’ ‘’Good’’ I say satisfied. Turning to an also satisfied Marlene I raise my eyebrows, ‘’shall we go fair lady?’’ ‘’Oh yes please noble madam’’ she exclaims, offering me her arm. It had become our _thing_ to talk to each other like this, we thought it was hilarious, Lily thought we needed medical help. But when I shoot her a glance I frown, maybe she’s the one that actually needs it after all. I don’t miss the guys that are hanging around behind Snape, nor the dirty looks they send Lily. She though, does miss it.

The next day I find myself shifting on the couch in Minerva’s private chambers, I’m alone as Minerva is out getting Molly. Molly, my second mother of another life time.

Minerva told me she’d written to Molly after I told her about the jumper, asking if she might want to make one more because my father used to make them before he passed away. Molly had readily agreed and had asked to meet me in person as well, which is going to happen today…

Can’t believe I’m this nervous!

The door opens and I jump up with wide eyes, turning to face it anxiously, Minerva comes through first, she’s carrying a baby that can’t possibly be much older than a week or two, I distantly remember Ron telling me Charlie’s birthday is in December.

And afterwards comes Molly freaking Weasley, in all her red hair, excited smile and chubby lovable glory.

She’s holding a small child as well and I dully note it’s Bill before I rush forward, throwing my arms around her, forgetting for a moment she doesn’t even know who I am. But she hugs me back without a second thought and Merlin it’s like I’ve never left, but then reality checks in and I pull back with a bright red face. ‘’Thank you,’’ I whisper, tears swimming in my eyes, ‘’you have no idea what I felt when I opened the gift.’’ Merlin she doesn’t even know half of it.

She grins happily at me, tucking my hair behind my ear like she always used to do, for a moment I forget anything has changed. ‘’It’s absolutely no bother sweetie’’ she says softly, taking me in she glances at Minerva, ‘’do you feed her enough?’’ She asked worriedly, making me laugh. Thank Merlin Molly isn’t different at all whether she knows me or not.

We all sit down around the coffee table and the house elves bring us tea and cookies, and chocolate milk for Bill. ‘’Hermione right?’’ Molly asks, and I nod happily, ‘’well it’s really nice to meet you, these are my sons, William and Charlie.’’ ‘’Billy!’’ Bill exclaims, Billy? Chuckling I stick my hand out to him, ‘’Hermione’’ I introduce myself softly. ‘’I’m Billy’’ he declares happily, shaking my hand.

It’s amazing how easily I’m able to talk to Molly, she asks me all about school and my friends and it feels so normal I spend the next hours in utter bliss.

**Lily POV  
**Today is the last day of the Christmas holidays and although I must admit hanging out with Hermione and Marlene is fun, it’s also a little strange. I’ve already hung out with Hermione before, but with Marlene I hadn’t as much. Of course Hermione and her are Potions partners, so that’s how they got acquainted, I think.

Walking down the stairs to the library I sigh, alright I’m jealous! I think of Hermione to be my best friend, but it’s become rather obvious that Hermione and Marlene are really close too! At first I thought they only knew each other, but I can’t possibly deny that the two have a good relationship after seeing them together. Oh I’m such a hypocrite, Hermione is such a great friend and I’m usually hanging out with Severus after classes. How can I possibly blame her for having other friends?! She’s even friends with those blasted Potter and Black, and they’re absolutely despicable!

They’ve been bullying Severus since the very first train and even me! They even bully Hermione! But she doesn’t seem to mind, or care, how can she not?! I get so horribly angry whenever they do anything, she just smiles and laughs about it before retaliating.

That’s why this ‘war’ sounded good, I could pay them back once too. And it _had_ been fun, but it was Hermione’s and Marlene’s thing, I’m good at learning, sticking with the rules. And Hermione is much the same, but, like those stupid guys like to point out all the time, she’s a fun stickler for rules… Great now I’m even jealous of the way she is! Why is she such a great person!??!

Bumping into someone I fall backward in surprise, looking up I realize it’s Hermione. She looks at me with surprise before chuckling, ‘’sorry! Oh I didn’t even see you, I was horribly caught in my thoughts, here let me help you’’ she exclaims, a soft smile on her face.

My heart melting I smile, taking her hand. All the jealousy disappearing when I see the arm she offered. That arm, oh it really is horrible! All the thoughts about her being better disappear promptly, Hermione deserves all this, she’s been through enough!

‘’So, where are you going?’’ She asks with a smile, her eyes looking at me curiously. Any time I see those eyes I feel like I can’t possibly lie, they just pull the truth right out of you. ‘’I uh, I was actually just taking a detour to the Great Hall… wanted to think a little.’’ Hermione nods in understanding, falling into step next to me. ‘’Oh I understand that completely, I like to go to the astronomy tower to gather my thoughts, it’s beautiful there at dawn,’’ glancing at me she chuckles, adding ‘’or dusk’’ with a grin.

Hmm I should keep that in mind. ‘’So would you like to share your thoughts or are they horribly private’’ Hermione asks, glancing at me carefully. She’d be perfectly fine if I wanted to keep it to myself I know that, but I just can’t hide anything from her!!

‘’Well uh… I was just…’’ shaking my head I shrug, ‘’I was being a baby’’ I summarize for her.

Frowning Hermione shakes her head, her face turning serious ‘’oh Lily you would think that you’d know me better than that! Being a baby isn’t an actual _thing_, a baby could prick her finger and cry terribly whilst an adult wouldn’t even blink. It’s the experiences that make them stronger, that doesn’t mean that what the baby felt didn’t hurt! It’s, let’s say, the most painful thing they’ve hopefully experienced! There are a lot of papers on the matter actually, I could look for some if you’d like? Anyway, tell me what’s on your mind, since you obviously need to get it off of your chest.’’

Eyeing her carefully I nod, ‘’well… I just… I can’t tell you’’ I eventually mumble, I couldn’t just lie now could I!? Nodding thoughtfully she stops walking before replying, ‘’then I’m not so sure how I can help. But if you can tell anyone else I’m sure Marlene or Alice would listen, maybe even Snape I don’t know him well enough for that. Anyways, get it off your chest because keeping it in really isn’t healthy.’’

Nodding I sigh, ‘’I’m sorry…’’ I mumble, it does feel awful. How could I possibly be jealous?! Groaning internally I suddenly realize we aren’t walking anymore. ‘’Wait where are you going?’’ I ask, seeing that Hermione had initially stopped walking. ‘’Oh I’m having dinner with my mum’’ she replies, shrugging. Nodding I smile, ‘’must be nice to have your mother so close’’ I mumble, thinking back to my own mother. I’d love to chat to _her_ about these insecurities… ‘’Yeah’’ Hermione mumbles, her eyes clouding for a second before it disappears and she smiles, ‘’well I’ll see you tonight!’’ Nodding we say our goodbyes before Hermione turns to knock on professor McGonagall’s private quarters, and I continue down to the Great Hall.

Maybe I should just write to my mother?

I’ve never wished for my sister this much in my life… if only though…


	7. 1st year Issues, how oddly normal

**James POV**  
I’m so fucking angry right now. No worse, I’m pissed! Like really, _really_ pissed.

Glaring at Sirius I see him laugh silently, biting his lip really hard in an attempt to hide it, he’s failing miserably of course. Looking at my other side I see McKinnon look triumphantly whilst Hermione looks on in astonishment. It’s been two weeks since the Christmas holidays ended and though Hermione had pulled herself back from the war when the holiday ended, McKinnon hadn’t, so of course Sirius and I hadn’t either. Though the war was now mostly between Sirius and McKinnon, mostly because I was put in detention after a prank went wrong and didn’t have any time to plan them anymore.

Sirius and I might, or might not, have made every single bathroom in the castle unusable for a period of two days, those days were horrible! And the worst thing about it, Sirius, whom had cast the wrong spell in the first place, had gotten away whilst I fell and slipped when we ran up the stairs. First I had to get my broken ankle healed and when I was a free man at last professor McGonagall gave me detention every night for three weeks and even send a letter to my parents!

Thereby taking my free nights I usually spend planning pranks with Sirius and getting me a very angry letter from mum!!

Though I guess we did learn to never test new spells in the bathroom… Yet now I’m here, in the doorway of Transfiguration seeing as Sirius had pushed me in front of him last minute. Making _me_ take the full blast of slime McKinnon had send to Sirius. Damn them.

‘’Mister Potter what’s the meaning of this!?’’ Minnie exclaims in surprise entering the classroom from her study. ‘’I’d love to know too professor’’ I hiss, glaring at Sirius and McKinnon. I’ve been Sirius’s shield for two weeks now, he better keep his paws to himself the next two weeks because I’ll hex them right of when he tries to push or pull me in front of him one more time!!

‘’Mister Black, Miss McKinnon, what’s the meaning of this?’’ Minnie now asked, looking at them sternly. This causes McKinnon to blush, ‘’uh…’’ she mumbles, not knowing what to say. ‘’Don’t worry about-‘’ I’m about to cover them when a stupid Ravenclaw speaks up, ‘’actually professor, McKinnon send a slime hex at Black, but Potter was used as shield!’’ The boy said, looking very pompously. Woah… I actually don’t have any words… wait no! I do! What the hell is your business?! I’ll tell you what isn’t, MINE?!

Eyeing him with raised eyebrows I scowl when he completely ignores me, how even dares he!? ‘’Is this true mister Black? Did you use mister Potter like a shield?’’ Hearing that causes Sirius to become red in the face, that’s how much the bastard is trying to hold in his laughter.

‘’Oh Minnie, you know I would _never_ do anything like that!’’ He eventually manages to choke out. Huffing she doesn’t buy it, ‘’please take a seat gentleman, mister Black, miss McKinnon, I wish to speak with you after class’’ she instructs, waving her wand to remove the goo from my body. Thank Merlin, but I still fucking _smell_!

After class Remus, Peter, Hermione, Alice, Evans and I wait respectively for our friends outside the classroom. Evans is pointedly ignoring us, chatting away to Hermione whom seems to think this entire situation is highly amusing. It’s almost adorable to see Evans get so worked up about something and see Hermione not even listen to it, that’s how amused she is. Turning to Remus and Peter I sigh, ‘’we’re never getting them to stop will we?’’

Having overheard me Hermione answered, ‘’what about a truce?’’ She asks. ‘’A truce?’’ I ask, is she stupid? That’ll never work with Sirius!

But Hermione continues anyway, ‘’yeah, let’s say that during the Christmas holiday it is war, but at any other time there will be no personal vendetta’s, that is, unless provoked. We, you, can still pull pranks just not in the war way we’ve been doing?’’

She’s actually making sense… scoffing internally I chuckle, Hermione always makes sense. 

‘’We can try’’ I agree, to which Hermione nods, ‘’if you don’t shoot, you’ll miss for sure’’ she says softly whilst turning back around. Recognizing the phrase I nod, it seems Hermione lives by this because I’ve heard her say it plenty of times.

‘’Oh how kind! Everyone waited for me’’ Sirius declares, stepping out of the classroom with a grin. Hearing McKinnon scoff I smile at her reply, ‘’puh-lease they wouldn’t even wait for you if they had a gun to their head!’’ she answers mockingly. ‘’Gun?!’’ Sirius says, confused by the muggle reverence.

Rolling her eyes McKinnon smirks, ‘’yea do you want me to shoot you with one?’’ She mutters before turning to Hermione, Alice and Evans. She’s about to say something when Hermione cut in, ‘’so, we were thinking-‘’ ‘’you were thinking’’ I quickly add, being ignored by her as she continues, ‘’that maybe we should call it a truce. We could continue the war next Christmas Holiday or something, until then all personal vendetta’s are null, though everyone can still prank, it won’t be against each other. Unless, of course, provoked, then all bets are off’’ Hermione explains calmly.

Sirius eyes her thoughtfully, this might even work! ‘’So neither of us loses?’’ He clarifies slowly, to which Hermione nods. When Sirius glances at me I shrug, ‘’this way we can focus back on Snape and the Slytherins’’ I offer, which seemed to pull Sirius over the edge, ‘’alright you got yourself a deal McGonagall’’ he said, holding out his hand.

‘’Wait a minute! I didn’t agree with this yet!’’ McKinnon exclaims, eyeing us suspiciously. Rolling her eyes Hermione quickly pulls her aside before whispering something that makes McKinnon change her mind quickly, walking back to take Sirius’s hand with a blank face, ‘’no one won, but more importantly, no one lost’’ she says calmly. ‘’We will continue this another day’’ Sirius replies, also with no emotions, what the hell did Hermione say to change her mind so quickly?!

Clapping her hands together Hermione smiles mischievously, ‘’well great, let’s go!’’ ‘’Yea, and I’m actually really curious now, how much detention did you guys get?’’ Alice pipes up, making us all laugh before we start making our way to the common room, Evans not completely joining but not being left out by Alice, Marlene and Hermione.

‘’Two bloody Saturdays!!’’ Marlene exclaims making me reply with a loud, ‘’wait only two days?! Dude, I got three weeks every evening!’’ ‘’Well, you _did_ put the whole school in quite a scandalous position’’ Sirius points out to my immense displeasure. ‘’That was _you_!!’’ I half shout, jumping up and chasing after the sorry excuse of a mate, causing everyone to burst out laughing, I think I even saw Evans crack a smile!

**Hermione POV  
**In only two weeks the summer vacation will start. And I’ve never been this frustrated.

I’ve been practicing with Minerva for the _whole_ year now and after having reached the ability to use my sight on people I’ve met but without touch or meeting their eyes? Nothing. Nada! I’ve been freaking _stuck_.

She keeps saying I should ‘relax’, I shouldn’t try so hard! It should come ‘naturally’ and should become part of me instead of something that I can let explode or block. Well damn you nature! Couldn’t you just _work_?!

I’m entirely too tensed to actually relax properly! Psh, who needs relaxing anyway? Scoffing I don’t even realize I had actually scoffed out loud until Marlene looks up at me in surprise, ‘’something bothering you?’’ She asks with a laugh and really there’s _nothing_ amusing about this! Ugh.

‘’No nothing, just thinking’’ I mumble, turning my attention back on my potions book. Monday the exams would start, so we’re studying. But because Marlene still refuses to enter the library, apparently because of some bet she has with her brother about getting a broom if she doesn’t enter the library all year. Something I found out a couple of days ago when I almost got mad because she didn’t want to say why she didn’t want study in the fucking library.

I might be a little cranky. Might be.

Anyway, seeing as I promised to help her with Potions, I’m studying with her in our dorm. Marlene’s reading her own Potions book, something I made her do, and she had to put a piece of parchment on every page she didn’t understand something, so I’d help her with that later on.

Glancing at the window I sigh, ‘’hey Marls, want to study outside?’’ I ask, stupid question really. Marlene wouldn’t say anything except- ‘’Oh Merlin yes!!! Let’s get out of this hell hole!’’ My point exactly.

Standing up we gather our books before walking down to the lake, ‘’so Hermione, you’ve asked your mum yet if you can come visit?’’ Marlene asks when we’re stuck on one of the moving stairs. ‘’Oh yea actually I have, she said it’s fine as long we don’t do anything outrageous and your parents are near’’ I reply, before glancing to my friend, ‘’she’s still a bit muffed about everything that happened last year’’ I then add with a shrug.

Or maybe the problem lies with freaking Dumbledore that he doesn’t want me out of his sight, too bloody bad he doesn’t have a say in this! ‘’Yes I can totally understand that, I’ll write my parents so we can decide on a date!’’ Marlene replied, grinning excitingly. When we step outside I smile, there isn’t any wind or a single cloud in the sky, it’s perfect!

‘’You know, Lily was supposed to come too but I haven’t really talked to her all that much since Christmas,’’ Marlene observes, ‘’have you?’’

Shrugging I nod, ‘’well a couple of times yea, but she’s usually with Snape or Alice, I still study with her though, but we don’t really talk when we do…’’ it seems like I’ve been losing quite some friends these past months.

Thinking back to three weeks ago I sigh, I just had to lose control.

_‘’No you know what a mistake was? You being born!’’ Glancing at Marlene we turn the corner, there Sirius, James, Remus and Peter are standing, all glaring at Snape. Staying silent I frown, what’s going on? They haven’t noticed us yet and continued throwing insults, Snape scoffing loudly, ‘’please, you make me think you’ve never looked in the mirror Black, now if there’s ever a mistake?’’ He smirks evilly before finishing, ‘’now I actually have somewhere to go, maybe you traitors should run along like the good little boys you so desperately want to be.’’ _

_Laughing sarcastically Sirius replies, ‘’oh right, because obviously I’m gonna listen to you, listen up Snivellus! You get your fucking arse out of here and run away, like the bloody coward you are!’’ Snape scowls angrily, grabbing his wand whilst barging over to Sirius. Sirius whom is also positively fuming, also pulling out his wand. James, Remus and Peter following suit. _

_‘_ _’Guys!!’’ I gasp, ‘’stop! What are you doing?’’ I shout, I’ve looked on long enough! There’s a limit! We’re fucking first years! Turning to me Sirius scoffs, ‘’what? It’s not like you like him’’ he exclaims, leaving no room for argument. ‘’Stay out of this Hermione’’ Remus whispers softly, ‘’excuse me?!’’ I ask, feeling anger bubbling up, we, they, are bloody first years!! By Merlin’s beard this is ridiculous!! ‘’Excuse me?!’’ I hiss again, lowering my voice, ‘’Snape get the hell lost.’’ Looking at him I see him scowl at me, not moving. ‘’Get the fuck lost!!’’ I finally roar, watching him turn around, and run away immediately. Feeling the anger rage inside me I try taking a deep breath, this stupid anger between the houses is what creates a war. A fucking war where hundreds of people die! Hearing the rattling of the armors lining the walls I take another deep breath, I need to calm down. Turning to the boys I see them all glaring at me, ‘’how by Merlins effin’ beard could you be so bloody stupid?!’’ I half shout, half hiss, calm Hermione, calm. ‘’Damn Hermione what’s stuck in your arse lately?’’ James asks, putting his wand away. ‘’Stuck in my arse?’’ I laugh, shaking my head, ‘’you’re bloody stupid aren’t you?’’ I whisper, didn’t they get it at all? _

_I’ve told them so many times now, whatever they’re doing, it’s not all fun anymore, this bigotry is what makes a war! And they don’t even care! Growling I glance out of the window to wince at the dark clouds filling the air, low rumbles echoing. ‘’You know what? No, I’m not even going to tell you again, you already know what I’m going to say. You can all go to hell, don’t ever even consider asking me for help with your stupid pranks, or whatever you think you need me for! I’m done, I’m fucking done with you guys, don’t talk to me, don’t look at me and fucking hell don’t you even _think_ about me’’ I growl, taking a deep breath. Shaking my head I push past them, hearing Sirius shout ‘’well fine! We don’t need you McGonagall!’’ Great, we’re back on that last name shit. _

_Hissing angrily I don’t turn back around, clenching my fists I walk away, ignoring the rattle that rung through the air when I pass the knights, I try to get my magic back under control but I’m just so fucking mad right now. _

Granted, I had reacted extremely strong, I blame it on the 12 year old monkey brain and on the fact that I’ve been having a shitty week, I mean what’s the worst thing they could’ve done to each other?!

I’m not sure why I snapped besides that though. Maybe it’s because they’re so incredibly different then the men I knew or heard stories about. Sirius, the haunted silent man whom drank his sorrows away and only showed his heart when he was a with Harry, a boy he’d give his life for. _Him_ I respected matter how stupid he was. This Sirius? He saunters about like he owns the place, pushes people down when they are in his way and I know, I _know_ damn it that it’s going to get worse before it gets better. But right now no one dares to stand up to him because of his last name and his power, they listen to everything he says even though he’s only a first year! Shit I _know_ his home life is fucked up, but that does not give him the excuse to treat other like crap!

And Remus… Christ the man I knew was smart, friendly, loving and though he has some confidence issues.. He was the best man I knew. A man I would’ve trusted my life with without a second thought. This Remus? He’s silent, doesn’t dare speak up to his own damn friends and his confidence is so far below zero it’s invisible! And I know, I _know_ that he’ll get there. But I can’t… it’s so incredibly hard to accept that.

Now Peter and James I didn’t know very well in my past, James not at all. But what I did know about Peter was that he obeyed everything the one with the power asked of him and that’s something he _still_ does that now. It makes me feel icky even though he can be so sweet and I’m afraid to say I’m this close to starting to like him.

But James? Christ James… he’s by far the one that absolutely surprises me most. For some reason I had connected him with Harry at first, I reckon it was because they look so alike. They could be their mirror self. But when I got to know him I realized Harry was much more like Lily in personality, James could be cruel, he was spoiled and not at all like the hero everyone but Snape made him out to be.

I knew he was a bully from what Harry had seen in Snape’s memory, but to see someone with Harry’s body be so… mean… it’s surreal for me, it freaks me out whilst also made the difference between them bigger. I don’t see them the same anymore.

Anyways, Sirius and James have been ignoring me ever since the confrontation. Remus came that very day in the afternoon, asking if I was alright and apologizing on behalf of his friends. I told him I wasn’t particularly angry at him, I lied, mostly at Sirius and James, though he shouldn’t have just let this happen. Because it was horrible. I also told him I forgive him, but the others had to come apologize themselves, or act or do something themselves, and I did forgive him, but I can’t forget.

Peter had come a couple of days later, also apologizing and I’ve started to tolerate the lad. After all he hasn’t done anything yet and I can try to keep him from doing anything as well, even though I still get the creeps from his way of sucking up to people. I mean, who does that? He just hovers around you all the damn time, and just… looks for confirmation _all. The. Time. _

But James and Sirius hadn’t apologized. And they still haven’t, now three weeks later… They’d continued bullying Snape too and they’ve landed weeks’ worth of detentions because they were found by a teacher in some sort of duel with Snape. Like father like son after all I guess. Though Harry hadn’t got caught.

Guess my word and friendship means very little to them. And it’s not as if I haven’t tried to talk to them, I mean I reacted horrible, but neither of them wanted to hear my apology… Sitting down underneath the tree Marlene and I had claimed I grab my potions book, ‘’so should we go over the difficult stuff?’’ I ask, hoping to get my mind off of the stupid annoying boys. ‘’Sure’’ Marlene replies with a sigh before lying down. 

Switching books we open them on the first page she’d marked, so I went on explaining the difference of stirring the potion in a particular direction. 

Half way through the book Remus and Peter joined quietly. Later also joined by Lily, whom looked behind her nervously, ‘’Hermione?’’ she asked, grabbing my attention. Glancing up from the parchment where I was drawing something out on to clarify something for Marlene and Peter. ‘’Yeah? One sec,’’ I mumble, turning back to Marlene and Peter, ‘’so look, this is the equation for the weight you need to use of the spine against the water you’ve got boiling. Here, wait’’ writing down some lines I push it over to Marlene and Peter after doubling it, ‘’you two try and answer this question I’m going to see what Lily needs help with.’’

Frowning at the paper Marlene nods none the less, ‘’alright’’ she mumbles bending over the paper to scratch down the steps. Standing up I follow Lily whom seems to want something private, ‘’what’s up?’’ I ask, looking over the water, it really is a beautiful day, you could see beautiful insects fly around the sides of the lake, looking up at the sky I smile, it’s a beautiful light blue sky that looked down on me with a grin.

‘’Uh well…’’ Lily began, not really knowing where to start, I presume. Fixing my eyes on her I wait patiently, Lily has this quite often. Just needs some time to figure out how to say something. ‘’Well alright here goes nothing’’ she eventually grumbles, ‘’can you please help Severus with transfiguration?’’ She asks, making me freeze. Me? Helping Snape? _The_ Snape?!

‘’You see, I tried explaining, but I don’t even understand it fully myself… You helped me in the beginning of the year… maybe you can help him too?’’ Frowning I hesitate, this request itself is already weird because Lily had stopped sitting with me at Transfiguration months ago, stopped sitting with me at any class really. This is a request you’d ask your friend, currently we’re barely even acquaintances.

‘’I don’t know…’’ I mumble, besides all this it’s still Snape we’re talking about here! ‘’He doesn’t like me at all you know’’ I add, seeing the crestfallen look on her face.

‘’He promised he’d behave!’’ Lily offered, making me laugh, ‘’he actually wanted this?’’ I ask, the great Severus Snape is asking for help from me? ‘’Well… he knows I was finding someone whom could help him… ‘’ she mumbles, ‘’Ah but you forgot to mention my name surely?’’ I chuckle sarcastically, I honestly don’t need this right now. Lifting my hand I rest it on my chest, feeling the golden circle in my skin through my shirt.

‘’Well I can give you my notes, that might help, but I don’t think it’s such a good idea, besides I’ve already promised to help Marlene with Potions and Charms, Remus with Charms, Peter with about everything and I do believe you wanted help with Transfiguration as well? Though you did ask me this months ago before you stopped talking to me’’ I mutter. ‘’Well maybe we can combine my transfiguration help with his?’’ Lily asks hopefully, ignoring my comment about not talking to me.

Merlin that girl just doesn’t give up does she? Sighing I shake my head, ‘’you know what? Fine! Fine! But I’m saying this now so I can tell you I told you so later, this isn’t going to end well’’ and I’m pretty sure about that.

Grinning excitingly Lily nods, giving me a happy hug before pulling away, ‘’thank you!! I’ll make sure he’s at the library at our usual study time!’’ Our study time? Okay… didn’t even know we had that?

Shrugging I nod watching her run away, alright then, I reckon this will be interesting at least.

Turning back to the tree I sit down with a sigh, ‘’what’d she want?’’ Marlene mutters with obvious disdain. Marlene and Lily have this silent rivalry going on, first year couldn’t just be a simple year could it? Granted there isn’t any troll or weird immortality stone involved, but I might prefer that more than all this damn drama. Shaking my head I shrug, ‘’she wanted my help for something, where were we? Ah yes, did you get it?’’ Nodding proudly Marlene hands me the parchment, ‘’nice! Well done Marls, there’s hope after all’’ I chuckle, looking at the girl with pride.

Now turning to Peter I raise my eyebrows, ‘’and did you get it?’’ Nodding he too gave me his parchment, checking it over I grin ‘’well done Peter! See, you’re both perfectly capable of doing this, you’re going to be fine!’’ I said, earning two beaming grins from Marlene and Peter.

‘’Remus, Peter! What are you guys doing, with… them?’’ A voice cut through my next explanation of the forgetfulness potion.

Looking up with annoyance my eyes fall on James and Sirius, great… ‘’Studying’’ Remus replies calmly, it seems that he has decided that he is capable of standing up against your friends after all since a couple of days ago when a similar event was happening. Maybe it also helps that he has other friends besides the boys now as well? Ones that had berated him about being able to stand up to them, I smile proudly at him for doing so now.

‘’Studying? Why with… them?’’

Rolling my eyes I want to say something but Marlene beat me to it, ‘’them have a name too you know?’’ She hisses sarcastically, ‘’I know, other people also exist outside your asshole world, weird huh?’’

Stifling a giggle I look at my book with determination, James though seemed to have seen it anyway, ‘’what’s so funny McGonagall?’’ He asks, eyeing me in annoyance, great… Looking up I smile sweetly, ‘’your face’’ I reply dead serious, suddenly thankful for the lesson on bad ass replies Marlene had given me about a week ago, apparently I needed some better come backs?

Hearing Marlene giggle I try stopping my own, it _is_ fun seeing their faces like this. ‘’C’me on,’’ I finally mumble, ‘’seems like we’re not welcome here. Peter you’re doing great, keep going this way and you’ll do great at the exam for sure. Just don’t slack off, like s_ome _people’’ throwing a look at the two boys pointedly.

‘’Don’t worry Hermione, I’ll make sure he keeps studying’’ Remus says calmly, ‘’good’’ I reply.

Getting up Marlene and I start walking away when I remember having to help Remus, ‘’hey Remus, I’ll be at the library after dinner, if you still need help with Charms?’’ I shout, seeing him nod before walking away completely with Marlene. ‘’Ugh I’ve really grown to dislike those boys’’ she groans, earning a chuckle from me, ‘’I’m sure they’ll grow out of it’’

Looking at me with wide eyes Marlene shakes her head and giggles. ‘’Not possible!’’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rowling's world, not mine :/


	8. First year at it's end :)

**Hermione POV  
**That evening I go to the library without any hurry, Lily usually studies before dinner, so I could help her first then after dinner I could help Remus, should work out perfectly!

Entering the library I notice that she isn’t here yet, so I sit down at our table calmly. Pulling out my transfiguration books and my notes I go through them, the material really isn’t that difficult. In my eyes at least, though even in my original first year I hadn’t found it the hardest thing either.

Now I could probably get O’s in all classes without even studying but I already got O’s the last time and the need to get them again hasn’t at all lessened, after all I can already do this. Failing now would be hitting rock bottom for sure, that just isn’t acceptable.

Seeing Lily enter I have to withhold a face when Snape follows her in, I had almost forgotten about that… yes… almost… ‘’Ah Hermione! There you are, Hermione, Severus, Severus this is Hermione’’ she said cheerily. ‘’We’ve met’’ I answer coolly, what? I’ll help but I won’t be nice about it after the multiple confrontations we’ve had by now.

Sending me a glare Snape turns to Lily, ‘’please tell me she isn’t the one that’s going to help?’’ He asks, because _apparently_ he even talked down to his friends! However Lily ignores the undertone and nods, ‘’yup, Hermione is by far the best of our year and she’s a great teacher, now sit and listen.’’

Grumbling a bit under his breath he sits down, Lily sitting down next to him. A happy student is a happy teacher right? ‘’So what’d you need help with?’’ I ask, deciding to just get it over with quickly. ‘’Well we’re having some trouble with transforming a mouse into a _pretty_ box, mine keeps having fur for example’’ Lily grumbles.

Nodding thoughtfully I take two books, placing them in front of them I transfigure them into white mice, ‘’alright, let’s see what you can do?’’ I ask calmly. Trying to avoid looking at Snape.

Both are now waving their wands, muttering the incantation. Lily’s box has, like she said, still a layer of white fur, Snape’s would change into a simple box, yet wouldn’t colour gold. I can work with this. ‘’Alright, so Lily you should try and relax more, you’re too focused on the movements of your wand. You did it perfectly but you’re making it too forced’’ I explain slowly before turning to Snape.

‘’And uh… you’re performing the spell perfectly, just imagine the box you want to create and don’t start to hard, think of a simple golden box first, add the details when you have the box’’ I mumble, feeling incredibly awkward. Never once had I _ever_ thought I’d be explaining anything to Snape, _ever_! ‘’Just put the layers on each other in your mind whilst saying the citation.’’ 

Waving my wand again the two boxes transform back into mice, Lily recast the spell, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to try and relax. Snape simply recast the spell without showing any difference in facial, but his box did come out perfectly afterwards. Simple, yet golden.

Lily’s box actually mirroring it. Grinning I nod, ‘’great, well now try to add little details, start small with a little flower here or there, then cover it with more.’’ Thank the lords both are actually pretty good with Transfiguration, they only needed a hand to help them figure out how to use the skill. Teaching them the whole skill would’ve taken entirely too long for me to even _think_ about.

I once again changed the boxes back into mice, watching them repeat it. It seemed like Snape got it down and Lily is getting there, great, can I go now?

Changing the boxes back into my books I smile, ‘’great, can you excuse me? I told Marlene I’d be in the Great Hall for dinner’’ I trail off, hopefully not showing my discomfort.

‘’Yeah okay, we’ll stay to practice some more’’ Lily said, nodding. Brilliant! Standing up I gather my books and parchment quickly, shoving it in my bag I didn’t know how fast I could get out of there! Woah, that was super weird!

‘’I see you’re even studying with Snivellus now’’ a voice from behind me says when I pass the door from the library into the hall.

Turning around I raise my eyebrows at James, ‘’oh you’ve finally decided to speak to me huh’’ I say sarcastically. Referring to other comments than stupid jabs, ignoring the contents of his comment this time as well. Scoffing slightly he nods, ‘’I thought better of you’’ he says. Oh.. oh okay then. Lowering my eyebrows I settle my expression in a cold mask, ‘’well I must say, it’s just like you to create a conclusion of stuff you don’t even know the story of. But you know what? That’s just fucking _brilliant_ isn’t it?’’ Shaking my head I smile a tight lipped smile, of course he sees me with Snape and just decides on his own what happened.

‘’There isn’t much to learn though is there?’’ James replies with a scoff, ‘’you’d rather be buddies with Snape than with us. And you know what, that’s fine McGonagall. I was going to apologize but it seems like you don’t need it, this come back really is low.’’

He’s eyeing me as if I’m something _dirty_ and staring at him I breathe out through my nose, he thinks _what_?! ‘’You think so little of me?’’ I whisper, studying his eyes. I thought he knew me better than that, I suppose I was wrong. Glaring at me he rolls his eyes, ‘’apparently so, aren’t you proud? You’re studying with the one we hate the most. Congratulations McGonagall you’ve just made it obvious that this friendship means nothing to you!’’

Staring at him I swallow. Me? _I_’m the one this friendship means nothing to?! Feeling the prickles of tears in my eyes I take a step back, no. No, I do not need to do this right now. His eyes are entirely too accusing though and I can’t take it, ‘’you think it’s me who this friendship means nothing to? Me who spend hours trying to apologize to you for snapping, _me_ who has never not once sought you out to insult you on _purpose_?!’’ Glaring at him I shake my head, ‘’right. It indeed does look like you think so little of me that I’d do this as some sort of prank. Which, even if it was? Fuck you Potter. Fuck you. I liked you a whole lot better when you weren’t talking to me.’’ Turning on my heels I shake my head, stalking off and blinking up at the ceiling to stop my tears from falling.

Clenching my fists I try to drag my magic back inside their borders, control Hermione. Control.

Why the _hell_ do I care so much?!

I don’t cry, I don’t cry, I don’t cry. The cupboards I pass rattle in disagreement and I growl. I do _not_ cry. Christ, I guess I just thought James and Sirius would give in at some point and this stupid, stupid, stupid study date with Lily and her friend just _ruined_ it. Racing down to the Great Hall I swallow, ignoring the fact that for the first time in forever I want to cry. That I almost cried.

‘’Hermione!’’ Marlene gasps as I enter the Great Hall, sitting down next to her. ‘’What happened?! What did Evans do?’’ Shaking my head I will myself to start on an apple. ‘’Hermione tell me’’ Marlene insists calmly, leaving no room for argument.

Looking up sadly I shrug, ‘’it’s James’’ I mumble. Frowning Marlene hisses angrily ‘’what’d the bastard do?’’ To which I chuckle, ‘’nothing really, it’s my fault… ‘’ Seeing the confused look on her face I explain with a sigh, ‘’yesterday Lily came to me asking if I could help her and Snape with Transfiguration, at first I didn’t want to, but you know Lily,’’ I mumble, shrugging, ‘’so anyway, I helped them for probably less than 10 minutes before grabbing my books and getting the hell out of there.’’

Shaking my head I sigh, ‘’when I left the library James was there, saying he thought it was incredibly low of me to have such a revenge, he thought I’d done it for revenge!’’ I shake my head in desperation, ‘’I really hate him right now’’ I mumble, sadly I don’t, no I’m just a pathetic person that suddenly cares she lost friends whilst before she didn’t. Or I just hadn’t allowed myself to care.

Marlene seems to think so too because she shakes her head, ‘’no Hermione you don’t, you’re too good of a person to hate him and too upset. And that’s okay, you probably hoped deep down they’d be your friends again and it was now confirmed they won’t be, but hey, you still got me and Alice!’’ She says, hugging me excitingly. Chuckling I nod, ‘’I yelled Fuck you though, twice’’ I mutter with wide eyes. I rarely curse! ‘’Good for you honey! I’m so proud of you right now’’ Marlene answers, pretending to wipe a tear away from her eyes.

Laughing I shove her slightly before sighing. ‘’Now. What will we be doing tonight?!’’ Marlene inquires and I shrug weakly, ‘’I’m helping Remus with Charms.’’ ‘’Nope you’re not! You’re going to cancel that, tonight’s girls night. Go on, cancel on him! I’m going to take care of some stuff!’’

Jumping up Marlene hurried away quickly so I’m left to walk over to Remus by myself. Standing up I sigh when I spot him with Peter and Sirius a couple of seats down. Sirius glances up for a second before scoffing and looking the other way, pompous brat, he’ll probably hear all about my _revenge_ from James and hate me too, great.

Not wanting to think about it anymore I quickly turn to Remus with an apologetic smile, ‘’hey Remus, Peter, I uh, I can’t study tonight, Marlene decided I needed to cancel my plans.’’ Chuckling awkwardly I shrug, ‘’if you want I can help you tomorrow though?’’ Please, please don’t ask about my probably very puffy eyes and red nose.

Thank Merlin he doesn’t.

‘’Oh yeah sure Hermione, I’ll find you tomorrow to see when we have time’’ Remus answers calmly, what a great lad. ‘’Great’’ I nod, hastily turning and leaving the Great Hall. Sadly I was not fast enough because right before I get away I hear Sirius ask Remus in a rather loud voice, ‘’why did she look like she wanted to cry?!’’ Swallowing I keep my eyes on the door, stupid boys.

**Marlene POV   
**Alright so this is easy, this is super-duper easy, I can do this! I can _so_ do this. Swallowing thickly I stare at the large oak door standing between me and my doom. In a few minutes I’ll have to go in there, _alone_, and do… hell I’m not even sure anymore! We’ll have to do a part of a potion, I know that? Oh, please Merlin help me I beg of you! I might have been practicing every day for the past weeks with Hermione but I can_not_ do this! All the practicing gave me is this tiny smidge of hope of at least getting a Poor, _maybe_ an Acceptable. But any higher really is shooting too high to be realistic.

‘’Relax, you’ll be fine’’ Hermione exclaims from next to me, glancing up from her book with an entirely too positive excuse of a grin. She’s to go in right before me, alphabet stuff and all, and thank the Lord for that because she’s been pep talking me for a solid thirty minutes now.

Taking a shaky breath I nod, it’ll be fine. The written exam went fine, practical will be great too! Right?

‘’Miss McGonagall, if you would follow me!’’ Slughorn exclaims from the doorway as Alice passes him back into the hallway. ‘’Sure’’ Hermione is just _always_ so calm! How is she not stressing her balls of right now?! She isn’t nervous in the slightest, count me impressed for sure! Of course this is Hermione we’re talking about and she’s a freaking genius but still!

Turning to Alice I push my head up from Hermione’s lap with wide eyes, both so I can talk to Alice better and so Hermione can stand and follow the professor inside. ‘’So how did it go? Is it easy? What did you have to make? Did he ask you any questions? Did you mess up? Is he in a good mood? Is it scary? Do you have to get your own ingredients?’’ I gush, feeling more nervous with every question. Damn itttt.

Shaking her head Alice chuckles, ‘’nah I actually didn’t think it was that difficult. So I guess it went alright! I had to answer some questions, name some ingredients and material and stuff, you know? I don’t think I messed up… he’s in an okay mood, it wasn’t really scary and what was the last question? Oh right, no he already set them down for you’’ Alice replied, smiling happily.

Alright, alright at least there’s that… ‘’Look Marlene you’ll do fine! You practiced so many times that you’re on Lily level’’ glancing at her I scoff, like I’d want to be on 'Lily level'!?

Seeing my scoff Alice rolls her eyes, ‘’I really don’t get what’s up between you and Lily, I mean I thought you were friends?’’ she says pointedly. Oh we were friends alright, but a friend isn’t egoistic and rude to you whenever another friend is there!

And no I’m not talking about Hermione or Alice, no Evans turns in to a right awful person when Snape is there. And though Hermione doesn’t seem to care and Alice doesn’t seem to notice, I do! And it bugs the hell out of me, especially when she’s put Hermione and Alice in multiple positions to pick between her or me. That’s just plain rude!

Hermione and Alice always seem to figure out a way out of it without hurting either of us, usually that meant they’d just go do something with each other, me joining in later when Evans ran back to her _Sev_. 

‘’Nothing, I just don’t like her’’ I mumble, sliding down the wall to sit down. Eyeing Alice I sigh, Hermione had suggested to me that it might be best not to bother Alice with it too much since she didn’t notice it and it was better that way. Though I didn’t get that, doesn’t Alice have a right to know? Especially because it’s happening right under her nose?

_‘’Maybe she knows, but she just doesn’t want to know’’ _a very Hermione-like voice said in my head, and though it made no sense it also made total sense. Just like Hermione, great now the girl got in my head!

Nodding Alice slides down the wall to settle down next to me, ‘’well alright, then let me ask you this, is there a chance you and Lily will get along some day?’’

Well… I suppose… if she realizes what a bad influence Snape on her is and she stops being so jealous? But I don’t see that happening any time soon. ‘’Maybe?’’ I mumble. ‘’Well I’ll take that then’’ Alice chuckles, glancing at me she sighs, ‘’you know I’m not stupid right?’’ She mumbles, ‘’I know why you don’t like her.’’

Raising my eyebrows I glance at her, ‘’really?’’ Right of course she does. ‘’Tell me then.’’

She grimaces but nods, ‘’you don’t like the way she acts when she’s around Snape.’’ Raising my eyebrows at her I wait for her to continue, because apparently this is bothering her quite a lot. ‘’And I understand that because I don’t like it either! But do you know why she acts like that?’’

Studying her face I frown, no I don’t have clue. I always assumed she did so because that’s just the kind of person she is. ‘’I don’t know’’ I admit, shrugging. ‘’She’s scared’’ Scared?! ‘’Scared and jealous.’’ Jealous?! And scared?! Ha right, for what?!

‘’She’s scared of being left behind, that she’ll loose her friends? And probably, she’s scared of this new world?’’ She answered my unasked question. ‘’Of this new world? She knew about magic for years Alice, and she’s also been here for a year now! It’s a little late for an excuse like that,’’ frowning I shake my head, ‘’and she was _fine_ at the start of the year. And she was friends with us, with Hermione and you mostly. She was the one that just… became an asshole!’’

Alice almost smiles but instead shakes her head with a tight smile, ‘’well then that brings us to the jealousy.’’ Jealousy? What in the world does she have to be jealous of?! ‘’She’s jealous of Hermione and you, and even me.’’ ‘’What does we have that she can be jealous about?!’’

‘’Our friendship?’’ ‘’She had that, Alice.’’ ‘’Lily is a… complicated girl Marlene, can’t explain how she thinks. But it’s obvious in the way she acts.’’

Shaking my head I scoff, ‘’well. That’s entirely her problem then, because she had that friendship herself until she threw it away. She’s being a spoiled brat about the whole thing, throwing the friendship away because… because of what?! Because we had more friends that just her? Have you not noticed how much it hurts Hermione? Or _you_ for that matter?! Don’t you dare deny it. I won’t stand for it, you keep forgiving her and keep doing what she asks. But she never actually does anything nice to us anymore! No in fact, usually she’s being a bitch!’’

She doesn’t answer me for a moment before finally looking up at me with a sigh, ‘’honestly? Don’t you think everyone deserves a chance? If you could get one more friend, would you turn her down?’’

The door opening saves me from answering with a firm No. Maybe if she hadn’t said all those bitchy things, maybe if she hadn’t been an asshole all this time I could give her a second chance. But she has.

‘’Miss McKinnon, please come on in’’ Slughorn exclaims. Hermione smiling happily at me, ‘’you’ll do great Marlene, we’ve practiced this! I believe in you!’’ Grimacing at her I nod, honestly I can’t even think about this stupid exam any more. Alice messed with my mind!

Stepping into the classroom though the conversation completely falls from my mind, nerves hitting me straight in the face and oh Merlin stand with me…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rowlings world, still not mine...


	9. Holidays aren't all that Relaxing

**Hermione POV  
**Watching the train take speed I grin, ‘’bye!!’’ Marlene and Alice are both hanging out of a window dramatically waving and shouting at me and though the other students are looking at me rather weirdly I can’t bring myself to care. No, I even wave mockingly at them as the train truly speeds up.

A large hand dropping on my shoulder I glance up. ‘’Are ye coming, Hermione?’’ Grinning I nod, following Hagrid to the gate. I try to fall into step with him but that turns out to be quite a task for my twelve year old legs. 

Walking down the path back to the castle with Hagrid is strangely refreshing, I’ve gone for tea with him at least once a week during the school year. Either on my own or taking Alice or Marlene with me, but it’s nice to have this relationship with him. It’s the one relationship in this new lifetime that hadn’t changed a bit, he’s still baking his rock cakes for me whilst offering me an ear to complain to.

Of course I’ve also started to build a relationship with Molly, we regularly exchange letters and I’ve even made plans to meet her for lunch in the summer and to baby sit her sons. But Molly’s becoming more like a friendly aunt, where I can better be friends with. Which still is great! But not like the mother-daughter relationship we used to have, here I have that more with Minerva. Obviously.

Entering the castle I immediately go up the stairs to said woman’s quarters, which are on the 4th floor. Stepping onto the staircases I try to will them to work with me, it’s a pleasant surprise when they actually do. Maybe they always listen but there are too many students wanting different things so they get confused?

Hmm I’ll have to look into that… Stopping at the door I knock softly before entering, I never get an answer anyway. ‘’Good morning!’’ I greet pleasantly, walking over to Minerva who’s sitting on the couch with a cup of tea. ‘’Good morning Hermione,’’ she answers, moving to the side so I can sit down next to her with a smile, ‘’so, do you have plans yet for what to do during the summer?’’

Accepting the cup of tea she hands me I shrug, ‘’Albus won’t _let_ me do anything remotely fun remember? So other than visiting Marlene and Molly? Nope.’’ It’s frustrating really, my parents used to at least take me to France nearly every year where we’d spend three weeks of just lounging on the beach and visiting museums or tiny old villages. Now being pretty much stuck here for two months?

Good think I still haven’t combed through the _entire_ library!

‘’It’s not that bad though is it? You’ll have two months of me!’’ Laughing I nod, ‘’well yes, but what can keep us busy for two months?! Please, _please_ don’t say meditating. I really can’t stand my inability to progress at all!’’

Wrapping my fingers around my cup of tea I shake my head, ‘’I can’t even help anyone out without meeting them. Even though I’m gaining more and more control over my mind! And if that would already be annoying enough? I don’t have a clue what to do about Voldemort yet, because the best thing to do would just… prevent this whole war in the first place right? But I don’t know _how_, all I know is how to destroy him once he’s at the peek of his power, which right now he isn’t yet!’’

The whole thing is just too frustrating, I genuinely hate feeling so powerless. Minerva finds the whole thing rather amusing though, ‘’I understand that it’s tough on you right now Hermione, but you mustn’t let it consume you remember.’’ Huffing I take a sip from my tea, ‘’I know.’’

‘’Besides!’’ Grinning she turns to me, ‘’Albus and I might have found a way for you to become more in touch with your nature self!’’ If she says meditating I _will_ attack someone. ‘’Please do not say meditating, I’ve been meditating nearly every day for a year now! If not _twice_ a day!’’ Oh I _have_ changed! I would _never_ have actually talked to Minerva like this in the past… holy fucking shite… Well. Nor would I have cursed like that, I’m blaming Marlene.

Chuckling Minerva shakes her head, ‘’no. Not exactly anyways, it’s part of the steps though.’’ Steps? ‘’We thought you might like to try and become an Animagus?’’

Excuse me? Me?!?! An Animagus!??! That… holy shit that would be _amazing_. But I’m _twelve_, at least my body is. Voicing my concerns to her I shake my head, it shouldn’t be possible right? ‘’Well of course we realized this too. But it seems that the control you have over your magic is just as controlled as it was when you were eighteen, you might have lost control in the beginning a few times because you had to get used to the extra amount. Now that you’ve gotten used to it we think you could do it, as well as it might bring you closer to relaxing. Your animal part of you is always more in peace with nature, hopefully it could help you with gain control over your sight.’’

Right… because I might not have told her about my magic lashing out every time my emotions get the best of me…

‘’You’ll be the youngest known Animagus in history.’’ Oh that _does_ sound appealing, but it’s not the thing I care most about. Does she really think it would help me get better control over my sight? Could I use my magic again without needing to avoid looking into everyone’s eyes? Could I really _do_ this? Biting my lip I glance up at Minerva, with her help I might be able to. Is having basic control _really_ that important?

‘’Alright…’’ nodding I grin, ‘’yes, let’s do it!’’ Tracing the circle through my shirt I chew on my bottom lip, this could be a really big mistake. But… I have to try right? If it could help me with my sight?

Grinning Minerva stands up and claps her hands, ‘’well in that case I have something that might help you! Read it and ask me if you have any questions about it, once you feel like you understand the material _completely_ we can get started right away!’’

She hands me an old looking book looking similar to a diary and upon opening it I realize it’s in fact a notebook. Full of notes from her about becoming an Animagus! Jumping up I almost squeal, ‘’thank you, thank you, thank you!’’ ‘’No problem, now go on and read it!’’ Grinning I nod, the weather outside is brilliant so I’ll go enjoy the summer sun whilst reading. Perfection.

It’s a full week later when I finally feel like I truly understand the steps. I had finished reading the book within the day, but obviously I had to read it two more times before reading all the books on the subject in the library also. Then I had made a whole list of questions to ask Minerva and I felt like reading the books one more time might be useful before writing an entire notebook for myself of all the information I gathered from the library books, Minerva’s notebook and her verbal explanations.

Now I must be ready right?

‘’Alright Hermione, take a seat’’ Minerva says, nodding to the ground in front of her. We were walking by the lake to now take a seat on the grass cross-legged. ‘’Try to calm yourself, this should be an easy step for you with all the meditation you’ve already been doing the past year.’’ Nodding I close my eyes, allowing my muscles to relax all over my body. Clearing my mind I focus on hearing Minerva’s voice, listening to her instructions.

Her voice is calm as she continues, ‘’find your magic… Not your seer magic but your actual core, it looks different for every individual. But you should be able to know, _feel_ it.’’

Swallowing I take deep breaths in through my nose, breathing out through my mouth. Slowly but steadily sinking deeper and deeper before starting to feel my seer magic lingering. The golden strings twirling around me like they always are. Thousands and thousands of lives of people I’ve met, all twirling around me like they’re nothing. Gently I push through them, looking around. But besides the golden strings there’s nothing. ‘’Your seer magic might cover your core Hermione, try to look deeper, try to feel the tug towards it and follow it.’’

How did she know?

Going back into the strings I push through them, following the tug underneath my heart. My surrounding slowly start to feel hotter and hotter and I can actually feel my magic starting to tingle through every cell of my being. Coming closer to the source of the heat I gasp when I pass an invisible barrier, the golden strings fall away and I… it feels like… like I’m 100% Hermione… There’s a storm sucking me in, my muscles relaxing completely as I feel myself being dragged over the winds. There are thunderbolts crashing around me and sometimes they hit me, filling me with such a powerful feeling there’s nothing more important.

I feel like I can’t breathe, whilst at the same time I’ve never been able to breathe so freely.

‘’Hermione’’ Minerva’s voice is faint, distant and I find myself not _wanting_ to hear it. ‘’Hermione you need to come out…’’ her voice orders me, but it’s soft. I don’t want to listen to it. ‘’Hermione staying in your core for too long is dangerous… remember?’’ No… it doesn’t make sense… Why would _anyone_ want to leave this? Why would I want to lose this feeling?! Why would I want to leave? Where am I anyway? Flares of text blur into my vision and memory returns to my brain, it hurts to think about but I remember. I remember why wizards failed, I remembered that they wanted to stay in their core. Their _core_, that’s where I am!

It’s hard, trying to swim or fly against the current. Trying to drag myself back I feel the resistance, it’s a resistance of myself, I don’t want to leave! Moving through the clouds I find they suddenly feel thick, making it hard for me to breathe. Spotting the shimmering of the golden strings I try to reach forwards, my hand pushing through the invisible barrier. ‘’Come on Hermione… you can do this..’’ Minerva’s voice is urgent as it echoes through the void I’m currently residing in.

I need to get out!! I _need_ to get out!! I try to force my eyes to open, I feel like I’m _drowning_ but I need, I need to get out.

Gasping my eyes fly open and I wince as my head hits the rocks behind me. Light blinds my vision and I cover them as my lungs try to catch up on receiving air.

‘’That was…’’ opening my eyes I pull myself up in sitting position with Minerva’s help, ‘’that was… amazing?’’ Shaking my head I wince at the pain, I hit my head quite hard. ‘’It was so strange… I felt like I was…’’ ‘’Home’’ she finishes for me and I nod, ‘’exactly.’’ ‘’You lied to me about your magic control’’ oh… right…

I flinch slightly, looking up at the sky that was a strange kind of storm that reminds me of the storm of my core I grimace, ‘’sorry’’ I mumble. ‘’Your core is the very essence of you, it is the thing that makes you, you, Hermione.’’ Frowning I shake my head, ‘’I thought your soul was who you were?’’ ‘’Ah, but the soul is your core, much like the core is your soul. Those that are attacked by Dementors do not just lose themselves, they lose their magic, their essence, their goal in life. And when you are not in control of them you can lose yourself entirely in it! It is wild, like a sea or a flame or-‘’ ‘’a storm’’ I finish softly.

‘’A storm’’ she repeats me, ‘’I cannot let you continue Hermione’’ she then whispers, her face tightening slightly and I can see her change into professor McGonagall rather than my mother Minerva. Looking up at her I frown with a determent face, my monkey twelve year old brain acting up ‘’I can do this without you now Minerva’’ I state, ‘’I really would like your help, but you won’t stop me.’’ I could feel my twelve year old self getting extremely annoyed at her suggesting that she could stop me, that she could keep me from achieving this magic.

And right now I’m listening to it. Fuck everything. 

She stares at me silently for a while, I can see her battling inside her mind, her teacher part against the friend/family bond we had created. ‘’With my core still unstable I could really use your help’’ I say softly, and I could see that that’s what did it for her. She nods resolutely, ‘’I’ll help, but Hermione promise me that if it becomes too much you stop. No excuses. No convincing yourself that you’re fine. You stop.’’

I nod quickly, ‘’I promise’’ I state, and I will. I might.

‘’And, you need to find an anchor, not just me because I won’t be there every time you turn, there needs to be something for you to hold on to every time you turn. You need it, something or someone you have a connection with, to hold onto so you can change back without it being present.’’

Meeting her eyes I nod, ‘’I’ll find something.’’ Where would I even start with that though? ‘’Alright then… so… did you feel it?’’ Looking up I chuckle, Minerva’s looking at me all excitedly now. ‘’So?! Did you feel your primal self?!’’ I can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm and nod, ‘’I did. I _definitely_ felt it, it was like a burning flame, a jolt of electricity. And now everything feels and seems so much clearer, does that make sense?’’ ‘’Oh yes! Yes, yes, you should see everything clearer. You feel the earth and the trees and doesn’t everything feel more beautiful?’’

She’s absolutely right, the earth feels much… earthier… and the smell of the trees and water are delicious, even the colors are brighter and more beautiful. And the bird chirps in the forest now… now they sounded like a melody, like music.

‘’So the next step would be the mandrake leaf right?’’ I ask, glancing at Minerva. She grimaces slightly before nodding, still visibly not entirely on board on the idea any more. ‘’Yes… and it seems I can give it to you immediately too. Finding your core and not being afraid to touch your primal self is the biggest and hardest step, and you have done that.’’

Frowning the thinks for a moment before shaking her head, ‘’but if I were you I would wait a little while for the leaf still.’’ ‘’Why? I _want_ to become an Animagus.’’ Why does she think I can’t do this?! I’m fine. I can _do_ this. ‘’It’s not that, Hermione. There’s a storm brewing in a little more than over a month. So if you wait one more week and proceed not to mess up with the leaf, you might succeed in becoming an Animagus before school starts.’’ She informs me almost coolly and flushing I look at my hands.

Right… ‘’sorry…’’ ‘’That’s perfectly alright.’’ Grimacing I look back up, ‘’but what about going to Marlene during the last week?’’ ‘’Well that’s not for another seven weeks, Hermione. And the mandrake leaf needs only four.’’ Studying me she smiles tightly, ‘’I realize you think you did this in an extremely short amount of time. But in reality you’ve been preparing yourself for over a year, remember? It took months for you to be able to reach your seer magic and with that you were already in arm’s reach of your primal self.’’

That’s true, it took me over six months to finally be able to enter my mind and find the strands. I just never knew this would be one of the goals I could achieve with that. ‘’Alright then, I’ll take the leaf in a week. If I don’t shoot now I might try to put it off.’’ And I cannot do that, because part of me desperately wants to proof that I _am_ capable. The adult part of me really wants to finish this because it might help me control my seers magic.

Minerva nods before standing up, ‘’I will. You should try and start focusing on nature for a while, feel the earth and listen to the wind. Do not, and I mean it Hermione, do not _ever_ enter your core when you’re alone. Never. Someone needs to be there who’s able to pull you out, alright?’’ ‘’Yes Ma’am’’ ‘’I’m serious Hermione, don’t _ever_.’’ ‘’I won’t, I promise.’’ ‘’Good.’’

And with that she turns away, ‘’I have a meeting with Pomona and Filius, I’ll ask her about the mandrakes. Try and come up with an anchor, to find it you need to clear your mind completely, and when you open your eyes it’ll be the first thing or person you think about’’ she explains before turning to the castle.

Sighing I walk to the water, entering into the cool water I’m surprised when it isn’t even _that_ cold. Picking up some of the stones I start throwing them like Hagrid had showed me all those years ago. Oh what a year that was, Sirius escaping and turning out to be innocent. Peter being Scabbers! And Remus turning out to be a werewolf. Werewolf. Werewolf!!! Oh Merlin I had completely, totally, horribly forgotten about that!!!

Shit!! Jumping out of the water I race to my room in Minerva’s quarters. Grabbing a piece of parchment I dipped my quill in the ink, okay…

_Wolfsbane Potion_

Now I only need to remember the potion, Sirius taught it to me during the summer after 4th year. I can, I need to remember it. Closing my eyes I focus on the memory, my almost photographic memory thankfully not letting me down.

_Aconite- 4 leaves _

Okay, what else?

_The remains of a dragonfly after being eaten by Euphorbia Obesa  
The blood of a bleeding tooth fungus  
The fork of a Belcher’s Sea Snake _

And that’s it. It only really sucks that these ingredients? They’re incredibly hard to come by, and even more expensive! Though Albus was able to get them in the future… putting down my quill I frown. I’ll go and ask him.

The walk through the castle is extremely uneventful and when I arrive in front of the statue I frown, shit what’s the password… ‘’Can you please let me in?’’ I sigh when my mind drew up a blank, I should know this, I’ve been going here once every two weeks for lessons about my seer magic and other meetings!

To my surprise though the statue nods and steps aside, what the hell?

‘’Hermione, I wasn’t aware we had a meeting today?’’ Albus exclaims in surprise upon me entering the office after a knock. Placing the parchment on his desk I shake my head, ‘’I’d really like it if you could get these ingredients for me’’ I state bluntly. He looks down at them with a frown before looking back up with his annoying grandfather smile, ‘’I apologize Hermione, but these ingredients are very hard to get by. For me to get them for you will take a lot of time and money and that is not something I can simply afford for a side project.’’ He actually had the audacity to look disappointed in me, _side project_?!

I almost growl angrily at him, but instead I keep my cool. Who says I don’t have control?! ‘’Well I apologize if I’m asking too much, but it seems to me that _I_ am a _side_ _project_ of yours Headmaster. Now I do understand that it will take time and money, but if you trust me, which is something you will have to do with the upcoming war and my abilities, you will trust that I need these ingredients for a good reason. One I am not willing to explain to you as of now.’’

His face would’ve been hilarious, were it not for the situation he had put me in. He had implied this was for a silly child’s project, he had assumed he could order me around. But I’m done with him ordering me around, ‘’I am in your dept Albus’’ I eventually admit, ‘’and I am forever grateful, but I am not your property and I know that you know I’m more than I seem. But I will not tell you what I am for I do not believe you should know yet. But as you know some parts, I trust that for me to cooperate with your plans, you need to cooperate with mine as well.’’

Now I must admit this is terrifying, it is horribly scary going up against Albus Dumbledore. But over the last year he has made several attempts to read my mind as well as trying to get me to listen to him on matters I simply do not agree on. He has pushed my boundaries too many times, it’s time he makes up for them.

‘’Very well’’ he eventually says, I could see the wheels behind his eyes turn as he got to the same realization I had gotten to. Good.

Now for this fucking anchor…

**Marlene POV  
**Three more days, three more days and Hermione will come!!!

Watching my brother eat pork is about the grossest thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing and it’s pretty much the only thing I’ve seen this whole summer! My parents won’t let me go out and do _anything_ like I’m going to be attacked or something! Psh, anyway, three days! Just _three_ days and Hermione’s here to save me. And another three days later Alice is going to come too!!

And according to their letters they have _so_ much to tell me!! Alice says Spain was amazing and Hermione has a surprise?! She, sadly, assured me it isn’t a present or something. It’s just something je picked up on during the summer that she wants to show us. She seemed excited though so it has to be something big!

Grinning I quickly finish my plate before running back up to my room. Those three days hopefully pass by soon! First though, I have to deal with James… Ugh. Grabbing my bag I return back downstairs, we’re spending the day at the Potter mansion because they have a pool. At least that’s the reason I’m coming, my parents are going for ‘fun’…

We leave for the mansion after mama finally got Ace and Hyde to grab their stuff too, something that for once in my life they really could’ve tried harder to _not_ do. Look, I love the pool okay. I just really rather avoid the residents!

Thankfully James seems to still be asleep when we arrive, thank the overlords. I immediately go to the pool to jump in with a yell, my grandpa Wren joining me not five minutes later.

‘’GRANDPA!!’’ Jumping into his arms I grin as he throws me in the air for me to just crash back in to the water with a loud splash. ‘’How is my wee princess!?’’ He exclaims, ruffling my hair. ‘’No!! Grandpa my hair!’’ I shout, moving out of the way with a yell.

Laughing he chases me through the water, ‘’how’s Hogwarts treating ye?!’’ Grinning I dive under the water before resurfacing in front of him, ‘’pretty cool! James is being an arse, but I’ve made really good friends!’’ ‘’Oh is he now?!’’ ‘’Yes _totally_! He was genuinely being really mean to my best friend just because she helped someone that he didn’t like prepare for the exams!!’’ ‘’Oh he _is_ a little bugger!’’

‘’Oi!!’’ Grinning we turn around to face the side of the pool. ‘’I fucking heard that!’’ James yells before he does a cannonball into the water with a loud shout. Resurfacing he races immediately to me and grandpa. ‘’Uncle Wren!’’ Right, because my grandfather is _his_ godfather. Ugh.

Grinning grandpa ruffles his hair like he tried to do with me earlier, ‘’I hear you’ve been an arse lately?!’’ Looking offended James huffs, splashing water over me before replying, ‘’she’s lying!’’ ‘’Excuse me!?’’ Jumping up I move my hands to the water wildly before watching in satisfaction how he backed away with a yell.

‘’You were being a total bitch to Hermione and you know it!’’ I yell, splashing him again. ‘’WHAT?!?! _She_’s the one that went and became ‘buddies’ with Snivellus!!’’ James shouts back in reply before retaliating with full force. How _dares_ he!!?

When we get back home that evening I’m exhausted from arguing with James literally the _entire_ day, I do think though that I’ve made him see his mistakes a little bit! Still, he’s _such_ a prat.

On the morning Hermione arrives I find myself sitting in the living room staring out of the window with wide eyes. She could be here _any minute_!!! Omigod, omigod, omigod, there she is!!!!

Jumping up I race to the door and throw it open with a yell of her name. She’s right there!!! Standing next to McGonagall holding an old looking shoe!!! She’s here!!! ‘’HERMIONE!!!’’ I yell again before tackling her into a hug.

‘’Oh thank Merlin you’re here!!! You saved me from utter and complete boredom!!’’ I yell gratefully, thank the lords she’s finally here!! Laughing she nods, ‘’I missed you too Marls!’’

Finally letting her go I step back to take her in, ‘’girl did you get taller?! Omigod we’re going to have so much fun!!!’’ Jumping in the air I clap my hands, before finally turning to McGonagall when she coughs softly.

Flushing res I grin, ‘’hi prof!’’ ‘’Good morning Marlene’’ she answers before turning to Hermione with a smile, ‘’well I have a meeting to get to, have fun, be save, write me and… well I suppose that’s about it.’’ ‘’Bye mum’’ Hermione chuckles, hugging her tightly. ‘’Bye Hermione,’’ McGonagall says before stepping back, ‘’be careful.’’ Hermione nods quickly, swallowing thickly before we watch McGonagall Apparate away.

Turning to me now her mother’s gone she grins, ‘’so what do you want to do!?’’ ‘’Come on I’ll first show you my room so you can drop your stuff!’’ I exclaim, pulling her along.

I redecorated my room with mama a few weeks ago, deciding I had to make a little bit more ‘adult’ like. So now, my room has only one wall with pink flowers and the other three are now a soft pink colour. My bed is still white though but I have new pink covers with tiny white flowers on it, also I have new posters hanging on my simple walls from a lot of famous people! Like Gloria Gaynor, Dolly Parton, Abba and a whole lot of cute guys from bands, I mean, who doesn’t love the Osmund’s?! And Donny Osmund? I mean, _amen_!

On one side of my room mama has place an extra matrass for Hermione to sleep on as well as a third one for Alice when she arrives. It’s not the biggest bedroom in the house, but mama and I did our best!

‘’Woah, your room is amazing’’ Hermione breathes, looking around with a grin.

Waving the comment away I smile, ‘’so that’s your bed! Now please tell me about this huge secret project you’ve been working on! You’ve been super distracted the entire summer and suddenly you get all excited and start writing about a surprise. Tell me!! You’ve got me going crazy with curiosity!!!’’ Taking her in I only now see how her eyes are moving around the room in curiosity, she seems especially interested in the posters but doesn’t comment on it.

Instead she laughs, dropping her bag on the bed before turning to me, ‘’alright I’ll show you, but promise you won’t freak?’’ she asks, smirking slightly. 

Nodding enthusiastically I grin, no need to reply. ‘’Alright then, here goes nothing’’ she mumbles, closing her eyes to… what? Focus maybe?

And then the strangest thing happens. She leans forwards to land on her hands whilst her legs grow shorter, her hair pulling back in her head whilst her face seems to form a snout.

Holy fucking Merlin, is she… is she turning into a cat? A large cat. A very, very large cat. With dots. A lot of dots. Large golden cat with black dots, well circles more than dots really. What did it do with Hermione?!?! The large cat must have… fuuuuuuuck.

The large cat sits down calmly, keeping her eyes focused on me, making me realize this is in fact Hermione, no one could fake golden eyes like that! 

Kneeling down in front of her I stroke her softly, causing her to purr. ‘’Oh Hermione you’re beautiful, what are you?’’ I mumble, can she really be an Animagus? Like… Oh… Like her mother… Is it maybe a thing you’re born with? I know very little about Animagi magic to be honest. I just know that it allows the witch or wizard to change into an animal based on your personality, your spirit animal so to say. And also that it’s very, very difficult to become one. Many gave up half way through and according to dad even some went insane!

Taking in the large cat I grin, she’s beautiful. She has golden hairs and black dots spread out over her body, on her chest I spot that she has a bright golden circle inside a black dot with small white dots in a triangle, opposite to the black ones.

When Hermione turns back to herself I jump back in shock, whoah that was insane! ‘’You really don’t know what a Leopard looks like?’’ She asks in surprise. ‘’A leopard? Oh sure, it’s one of those large cats in warm climates right?’’ I reply, what does this have to do with any of this? ‘’Do you know what they look like?’’ Hermione then asks with a laugh. ‘’Oh no, I was ill the day the teacher showed pictures’’ I shrug, why does it matter? ‘’And we always go to magical zoos, much more interesting!’’

Hermione seems to know what I was thinking for she chuckles and finally explains, ‘’Marlene I just turned into a leopard!’’ Oh, oh… Oh!!! Oh, oh, that makes so much sense!

Grinning I jump up, ‘’oh Hermione that was _amazing_!!!! Late reaction, I know, but, _aaaah_!!!! That’s so impressive, you’re only twelve!!!’’ I shout, it shouldn’t be possible! Except of course if she inherited from McGonagall, and of course it’s Hermione! She could pull of anything she’d want to! I mean, wow this is amazing!

‘’I know! I’m the youngest Animagus ever recorded!’’ Hermione grins, beaming with pride. And I know Hermione, she doesn’t easily like to brag so this really must be a big thing, does this means no to the inheriting plan option?

‘’Woah Hermione how’d you do it? You did do it legal did you? My dad works for the ministry you know’’ I whisper, looking at her with wide eyes, but we both know I would be the last person on earth to rat her out.

‘’Oh yeah we did everything legally, and well I decided to become an Animagus this summer actually. But I’ve unintentionally been getting myself ready all year. You know, me meditating, so actually I’ve been working on it all year!’’ ‘’Woah, that’s so awesome!’’ I mumble, shaking my head, wait till my dad sees this!!

That evening Hermione and I sit down at our dinner table, I finally had the chance to introduce my parents to Hermione and do so excitingly. Mama is a muggle, she’s a fashion designer and met dad when she traveled too far into the mountains for a photo-shoot and stumbled upon a dragon with her crew. My dad was the wizard that had to obliviate her, he did so but later returned the memories when he told her he was a wizard. He had to take her memories because he works for the Ministry as an obliviator.

‘’So mama, dad, this is Hermione! Hermione, I present to you, my parents!’’ I say grinning. Hermione nods politely, shaking their hands and greeting them respectively. Clapping my hands together once, I turn to dad, ‘’oh dad, you’re never going to guess what Hermione can do!!’’

Turning to me dad smiles before glancing to Hermione in curiosity. ‘’Oh uhh…’’ Hermione mumbles suddenly looking unsure. ‘’Go on!!! You said you did everything legal right?!’’ ‘’Well yea… but I can still be…’’ Hermione trails off, blushing badly before, ‘’alright then’’ she sighs. Frowning I shake my head, ‘’can still be what?’’ I ask, but she shakes her head with a chuckle.

‘’Don’t scream’’ I hear her mumble before she started transforming, landing on her hands, which are now her paws.

A loud scream fills the air. Looking up at my parents I realize in surprise that it isn’t either of them that is screaming. Hermione realizing this too turns around at the same time as me to face the door.

Ace! Feeling like laughing I immediately lift my hand to hide it, he’s staring at Hermione in utter fear, ‘’wha-? What?’’ he stutters, not taking his eyes of Hermione. She quickly turns back to her human form, blushing madly, ‘’sorry, sorry’’ she mumbles, staring at my brother in fear.

‘’Nice’’ someone else from behind Ace laughs respectively. ‘’Hyde’’ I scoff, before turning to Hermione, ‘’don’t worry about them, they’re rather dumb like you must’ve noticed over the last year’’ I say, earning an alarmed ‘’Marlene!’’ from mama.

Sitting down I grin at dad, ‘’pretty cool right?!’’ I ask, seeing his still shocked face. ‘’Cool? That’s… That’s… Hermione that’s amazing! How’d you do it?’’ Ah yes, my dad, the true Ravenclaw, just like my brother… always wanting to know all about everything. Couldn’t possibly settle with a simple ‘cool’…

Rolling my eyes I glance at Hermione whom looks like she wants to sink in the floor, ‘’well uhm… my mum helped me’’ she eventually mumbles with a shrug. Now, I am sure dad knew she felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to go into it, I am absolutely one hundred percent sure and yet, the stupid man, pushes on… And not just with a simple question, no he pushed by bumbling on about theories, the creation of Animagi magic, how Hermione must have an amazing core and all that stuff… Throwing a helpless look at my mum silently begging her to do something.

And thank Merlin she does, ‘’Wren? Wren honey, maybe lay off questions and come help me in kitchen yea?’’ she exclaims, practically dragging him along.

Once they disappeared Ace seemed to have found a voice again, ‘’leo… Leopard… in… in our… in our kitchen… kitchen… Leopard… Kitchen… Girl… Hermione… Hermione… Leopard… Kitchen’’ he mumbled, still very much confused.

Meanwhile Hyde plops down in front of us, he has dirty blonde hair that falls in his eyes and he’s wearing an obnoxious leather jacket, also, currently he’s smirking at Hermione. Rolling my eyes I drop my head in my hands. ‘’Hermione, Hyde, though I think you met somewhere last year during Easter already?’’ I sigh, before turning to Ace to continue, ‘’yes brother dear, Hermione did indeed turn into a Leopard, right here in the kitchen, now sit and wait for your food!’’

‘’Hyde?’’ Hermione questions, eyeing him curiously. ‘’Well my actual name is Jakyll, but Marlene here has taken to call me Hyde’’ Hyde replies, shrugging. ‘’Because you’re down right evil you are, you don’t deserve the good name Jakyll’’ I say, scoffing loudly, ‘’I thought it was very fitting, seeing that your parents thought you’d actually be a good person’’ I add, scoffing again.

Hyde scoffs in return, ‘’and what exactly is it that makes me so terrible?’’ Oh puh- lease!

Raising my eyebrow I lean forward, ‘’tell me _Hyde_, what is it again that happened to Melissa?’’

‘’I dumped her, have you _seen_ her nose?’’ ‘’Now tell me what happened with Kali?!’’ ‘’Definitely ditched her, horrible breath.’’ ‘’Alright, now help me remember what happened to Caitlin?’’ ‘’Oh that woman? Dumped her, honestly way too whiny’’ Nodding thoughtfully I continue with a smirk, ‘’hmm… and what about Sophie, Theresa, Dora, Kiki _and_ Hally?’’

Rolling his eyes Hyde grumbles, ‘’dumped them all.’’ I do believe he’s seeing my point. ‘’Alright now, as an _extra_ bonus point! How long ago did you meet the first girl I just named?’’ I ask, now leaning back in my seat with a knowing smirk. Uhuh.

I see him think a little, before replying ‘’Uh I met Melissa on the train to Hogwarts’’ Chuckling sarcastically I cock my head to the side, ‘’so you think it’s perfectly normal to actually date 8 girls in less than a year? And you didn’t just go on a date with them too did you? No you went and dated each one of them for a couple of weeks, holding hands, carrying their books, telling her you _love_ her, to then continue to rip her heart out and crush it? I don’t find that normal behavior Hyde, that’s cruel, that’s _deserving_ of the name Hyde.’’

‘’Oh and how do you even know all this sweetie? Been keeping tabs on me huh?’’ He asks with a small smirk, seeing the knowing glint in his eyes I scoff, ‘’oh please, as _if_. No I know this because each and every one of these girls were found crying in the castle at one point this year, cursing _your_ name. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a I-hate-Hyde club by now.’’

Seeing him pale a little I turn to Hermione, ‘’don’t you think Hyde fits better?’’ Her face got clouded with disgust a little during my questions but now she nods calmly, ‘’fits perfectly.’’ She replies coldly, throwing a glare at Hyde before turning to me, I watch in fascination how her eyes had gotten the glow of her Animagus for a second and she almost snarled before they return to normal and she starts a conversation about being jealous on Alice’s vacation and really wanting to see all the pictures since her mother is never going to let her go that far. Before she could do this though hear Ace mutter softly, ‘’woah you just got buuuurned mate!’’ Causing us to grin, well I grin, Hermione grimaces.

Half way through dinner I sigh deeply, ‘’have you heard about Lissa?’’ Remembering the piece of gossip I heard from Pandora last week. ‘’No what’s up with her?’’ Hermione asks raising her eyebrows questioningly. ‘’Well so apparently she started dating this boy this summer and her dad was _soo_ pissed. Looked like he was going to murder the poor lad, kept talking about his princess being way too young for something!’’ Rolling my eyes I shake my head, ‘’must’ve been so embarrassing.’’ 

Nodding Hermione frowns, not replying so I continue to dad, ‘’you would never do such a thing right daddy? It’s called having respect for your child.’’ Laughing he shakes his head, ‘’oh no I wouldn’t dare. Knowing you? You’d do it within the day if I’d forbid you to do something!’’ He replies, raising his eyebrows at me before turning to Hermione, ‘’and you Hermione? Would your dad react such a way?’’ he asks, smiling kindly. Shit. Shit, shit shit!!!!!

Oh I can’t believe I never told them!!!!!!! Fuckkkk.

Turning to Hermione I watch in horror how she stares at my dad with shock and surprise. ‘’So sorry Hermione! I totally spaced about telling them!’’ I gush, oh man I can’t believe I forgot to fucking tell them!!!!!

Shaking her head Hermione swallowed before smiling, visibly pulling up a mask, ‘’that’s okay’’ she clearly lies. Grimacing she turns to dad, ‘’my father was murdered before my first year’’ she explains expressionlessly, before shrugging, ‘’but I suppose my mum wouldn’t mind all that much, she’s a bit feared by every student though so I don’t think anyone will cause any problems’’ she then adds with a laugh, effectively changing the subject back to something positive.

This time my dad thankfully does acknowledge the fact that Hermione doesn’t want to talk about it and instead asks her why every student would be afraid of her mother, did I even forget to tell them Hermione’s last name?!

Damn!!!

Hermione though finds the whole situation quite amusing, ‘’well she is the head of house’’ giggling softly she turns to me, ‘’you forgot to tell them about everything of my background didn’t you?’’ Her eyes sparkling softly, letting me know she doesn’t mind. Still I blush, nodding nervously, before turning to my dad, ‘’her mother is professor McGonagall daddy’’ I explain. 

This seems to surprise him, ‘’really?! Well it does explain your Animagi magic, you should be a natural with a mother like that. Minerva is one of the best transfiguration masters of Britain, probably even the world’’ he exclaims, of course that’s what he focuses on… Rolling my eyes I laugh softly until mama interrupts, ‘’you know, Wren explained to me what Animagi magic is, but Hermione that sounds extremely difficult, especially for a young student like yourself.’’

Nodding dad replies before Hermione has the chance, ‘’oh Evelyne the power and self-control needed to achieve such a form of magic is amazing, wizards and witches have lost their minds trying to achieve this!’’ Turning to Hermione his eyes grow even wider with excitement, ‘’did you feel it? The thing that made so many go insane?’’ He proceeds to exclaim. ‘’Wren!!’’ mama hisses, obviously scandalized.

Luckily Hermione seems much calmer now and is able to reply calmly, ‘’oh yes I did, the pull to never leave your core is amazing. I felt ridiculously pure, as though I was finally home. Luckily I got my mother to help me return. When you’re in that state you forget everything, nothing matters and even though I _knew_ that staying in my core would be very dangerous… It didn’t seem important until my mum reminded me.. I even forgot where I was, that’s how intense the sensation is.’’ Smiling wistfully she shrugs, ‘’my core isn’t exactly stable yet either so it was especially difficult at first, even now I’m still having some issues with keeping my primal side in when I get emotional.’’ 

‘’Your primal side?!’’ Dad asks with such wide eyes they might just pop out. But Hermione only nods with a grin, ‘’yes, after getting in touch with your core everything is so much brighter, the colors are lighter and every touch is more intense, even smell and especially emotion. And when you take the Mandrake leaf in your mouth… oh it’s amazing and terrifying at the same time, I could snarl angrily at my mother for the smallest of things and lash out about things I didn’t really care about. My sense of smell intensified and I suddenly even started craving food I haven’t eaten in years.’’ ‘’Meat?!’’ I ask in surprise, to which she nods guiltily, ‘’yes, I have no idea how my mother survived my mood swings, even now after I’ve fully accepted my animal side I still have mood swings like crazy’’ she chuckles. That would explain the eye flashing a while ago!

Dad of course has to reply hotly with a _thousand_ questions, dragging Hermione into a heavy discussion about Animagi magic and it’s affects. All of us simple citizens can only look in amazement while they speak with such a ferocity it sounds like bees buzzing in my ears. Even using terms that I don’t recognize in the slightest!

Though Hermione definitely is set for life, my father is practically in love with her. It’s amusing even how during the following days he just starts treating her exactly the same as he treats me and Ace, she’s fully been accepted into the family with only one conversation! And they keep falling into these weird confusing discussions too, I knew I couldn’t have a better best friend! I swear, the fact that dad finally has someone that can keep up with him knowledge wise already is amazing, but even mama loves her!

The day that Alice arrives rolls around the corner before we can blink and Hermione and I are standing in the back yard the morning of it. She’s sitting on a broom and hovering slightly over the ground and I swear to God, I’ve never seen her look _this_ terrified ever in in my life.

‘’I can’t do this Marlene, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t’’ she hisses, never would I have _ever_ thought I’d see Hermione scared. Now it appears she’s not just scared, but _terrified_ of flying! ‘’Of course you can Hermione! You just need to relax, trust yourself!’’ I exclaim, sitting on my own broom and floating calmly next to Hermione, ‘’you’ve got this!’’ ‘’No. No I do not!! You don’t get it! I’m a _book_ person, I have facts, I have truths and lies, I have two damn feet on the ground at all times. I do _not_ have the emotional capacity for flying! I am _not_ in touch with my emotions enough to be able to do this!’’ She exclaims in reply, both hands still clenched around the handle. Glaring up at me she narrows her eyes, whom are flickering between gold and yellow angrily. ‘’Hermione!’’ Shaking my head I jab my finger in her chest, ‘’_you_ are the most emotional in touch person I fucking know! You are the _kindest_ and you try to act all tough but your emotional capacity is just so damn big that you even blamed _yourself_ when those arseholes were asses! Damn, you might even be _too_ emotional!’’

‘’No, no, no! I can be there for you guys! I don’t deal with my _own_ emotions!’’ Hermione exclaims with wide eyes, ‘’I’m horrible at that, I shove them aside and turn to facts, _facts_ Marlene!’’

The bell rings through the house and before I have a chance to say anything Hermione has crashed to the floor with a shout, jumping up and running inside before I can stop her. ‘’ALICE IS HERE!’’ she shouts from inside, grinning I quickly jump off of my broom and run to the door as well.

Oh shit… How dares Alice be this tanned?! Dragging her in a three way hug I grin, ‘’you’ve got to tell us _everything_ about Spain!! And holy shit you grew your hair out!! Is that a Spanish style!??! You’ve got to tell me everything about the latest fashion there and oh Alli, the _boys_?!?!’’

Leading them inside I smirk at Hermione before gesturing at her, ‘’you’re not off the hook yes lady, so don’t look so smug!’’ It’s definitely satisfying to see that smug grin fall right off!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not mine...


	10. 2nd year, I'm so close.

**Hermione POV  
**Things are getting harder than I thought, the past year’s been like a dream, a wonderful, happy and painful dream. A life without Harry and Ron, but a life still. The pain I feel when I think about them has become worse so lately I’ve started to stop thinking about them. Forcing myself to focus on Marlene, Alice, Minerva, all the good things in my life. I know that I’m just trying to put dealing with it off, I know that. But… the detachment helps me, maybe it’s already a form of dealing with it?

The best distraction though isn’t a forced one by me, it’s one I’m forced to deal with from the outside world. Right this day, the 1st of September, as I’m sitting in the train to Hogwarts the Order is being created. Because if you read the daily profit you’ll see that on page nineteen more and more missing people are announced. To this day still very few people have noticed, the news of deaths being hidden on the last pages that everyone always overlooks.

But I always read it. Just these past two weeks four wizards and six witches missing, probably killed. Five witches already killed, during or maybe _before_ rape. Seven wizards found dead in allies. Three children not even the age of Hogwarts missing as well as two students that have just graduated. I hate it. I hate that I can’t help them. I can’t do _anything_.

Albus wants me to help the order, help them with knowing the future but I don’t know how. I can only see the future of someone I’ve seen in real life, and I need to be able to envision them again afterwards. And even then… Their thread is hard to follow, because there are so many choices a person can make. So many different lives that I cannot see affecting them. Imagine holding a rope, a rope that moves, splits, new ropes whirling around it, coming out of it leading to a different path or maybe even braided into it! And you’re holding this rope, following it whilst someone is trying to tug it away from you.

The past is easier to see, the thread isn’t moving because it’s already written. It can’t change anymore. But the future is so unpredictable, every choice leads to a different life. Only their deaths never change, the date might differ a few days but the way _how_ never does.

So helping with my sight is not yet an option. Nor is helping with the Horcruxes because they aren’t in position yet! Even the diadem is still not there, and trust me I’ve _looked_. Yes, I’ve been thinking about the other locations but without asking Albus’s help I can’t find out about at least two of the horcruxes. The ring and the necklace. But the necklace is only placed in the cave _after_ Regulus finishes school. At least… I think so.

I should of course just ask him for help, share the information I know with him. But something in my stomach stops me every time. Last time he died because of a Horcrux, what if he can’t resist the temptation _again_?!

Of course then there’s the one in Bellatrix’s fault. But Bellatrix is still in school for at least a year, maybe two? And I don’t have a clue whether Voldemort had actually given it to her, or her parents, or her husband? It was in Bellatrix’s private fault yes, but has it always been there or only once the second war started?!

Sighing deeply I blink myself from my thoughts, I doesn’t do well to dwell on things you can’t- can’t what?! I _can_ change this! If only I’m able to focus better. Or, according to Minerva, focus _less_?! I need to ‘relax’, trust my ‘instinct’ and just ‘accept’ the magic. I _have_ okay, I’ve accepted I’m a seeker have I not? Scoffing I shake my head, besides, me and not focusing? That’s laughable!

Just focus on the letter Hermione, read the book and just forget about that for a moment. Right now there’s nothing I can do about it. Grumbling to myself again I try to sharpen my vision on the letters in my book, _Magic in North America_, when someone kicks my foot.

Looking up I frown, meeting Marlene’s blue eyes I raise my eyebrows. ‘’What’’ I mouth, she doesn’t answer and just flicks her eyes over to the other side of the compartment with an annoyed look. Following her eyes mine fall on Lily and Snape. Lily’s discussing something with Alice whilst Snape just looks horribly uncomfortable. Of course, Marlene wants to get the hell out of here. If there’s anyone she despises more than the Marauders it’s Snape and to some extend Lily.

Alright then, closing my book I nod at Marlene before rising. Did you know that Lily only wrote to me _once_ this summer?! And this is what she wrote;

_Hi Hermione! _

_Summer’s great, sister is not so great… Me and Severus are going to the fair today, so that will be fun. _

_I hope you have a great summer too,_

_Lily _

So now that would be absolutely fine, but I replied and she never answered. And she send this letter in the first week of summer! My 19 year old brain, though I suspect my brain is stuck at 18 until I’m actually 18/19. Anyway, my 18/19 year old brain wants to ignore this and not care since we have better stuff to worry about, but my 12 year old monkey brain is like, _excuse me? You call this a letter?! That is so rude, clearly our friendship means _nothing_ to you, why should I even care about you then?!_ And my animal side, or primal side however you want to call it, that side agrees wholeheartedly, Lily was rude, she needs to apologize. And right now that side is rather… overpowering…

So yea, I don’t really know whether I should still be nice to Lily or rather a bit cold?

Eventually choosing for a polite ‘’hello, sorry but I really need to use the loo.’’ Before I walk past her, completely ignoring Snape. What? The bastard might have been good in the end, that doesn’t justify all the crap he also did… will do… well he’s still really rude to me in this time so I’m allowed to be cold to him, especially since he didn’t even thank me for helping him with Transfiguration.

Closing the compartment door behind us Marlene and I walk to the restroom. ‘’Thank Merlin you wanted to go with me’’ Marlene groans, ‘’I couldn’t listen to any more talk about bloody memory charms.’’

Memory charms. In a flash I watch my parents’ eyes fade over, any memory of me disappearing. I watch myself disappear from the photographs before backing away. My heart clenches at the memory and I even let out a whimper before I push the memory away. No. Not now. I didn’t even use a Memory charm, I used a memory _modifying_ charm!

‘’Hermione?’’

Blinking again my eyes focus in on Marlene whom is waving her hand in front of my face, woah I spaced out a little there. ‘’Hermione are you alright? I kinda lost you there’’ Marlene continues, chuckling softly. Pulling up a smile I nod, ‘’yea sorry, what were you saying?’’

Continuing down the train to the restroom Marlene laughs before jumping in a story about her brother whom her grandparents had walked in on whilst he was doing some rather scandalous thing in their eyes. ‘’Oh the scandal’’ Marlene laughs gleefully, no pity in her voice at all.

We have to walk all the way to the back of the train and back to the front before we finally find a compartment Marlene deems is ours. There’s a couple snogging there though, but we, _Marlene_, made them leave within seconds. 

By the time we arrive back at Hogwarts Marlene is jumping up and down in excitement because she gets to see the carriages for the first time. I’m not all that giddy about it, Thestrals are vivid reminders of all the death I’ve witnessed. They’re also strong memory triggers so you know… yay… At least it confirms that everything that had happened, actually _did_ happen.

‘’Hermione?! Hermione are you even listening to me?!’’ My eyes zooming in on the mystical black horses standing in front of the carriages I nod. ‘’Hmm what?’’ I mutter, following Marlene into one. There are already two Hufflepuffs there we don’t recognize but Marlene isn’t bothered by them in the slightest. More bothered about me not listening.

Dragging my eyes away from the way their black wings are folded nearly perfectly against their sides I meet Marlene’s eyes, ‘’sorry, what did you say?’’ Shaking her head the glances at the Thestrals, even though she can’t even see them, ‘’isn’t it cool? The carriages riding on their own?’’ She exclaims, grinning, should I tell her? Smiling weakly I don’t reply, opting instead to move my gaze to the two Hufflepuffs, ‘’hi’’ I greet softly, ‘’I’m Hermione, I don’t believe we’ve met?’’

Marlene nods, ‘’yeah, I’m Marlene.’’

The girls seem really surprised that we talked to them before smiling, the girl with straight brown hair speaking, ‘’I’m Amelia, wonderful to meet you.’’ The other girl with blonde hair also smiles at us, her eyebrows rising from behind her sunglasses before she answers. ‘’I’m Sally!’’ Sticking my hand out I wait for her to shake it like I’d done with Amelia. Wait, wasn’t Amelia the future Head Auror!? Oooh yes I remember her from the sorting now, wow I can’t believe I forgot about Amelia Bones!

My hand’s still hovering in the air because Sally doesn’t take it, though she is smiling. Raising my eyebrows I glance at Marlene, eh… Amelia quickly coughed when she spotted it, whispering something in Sally’s ear. The witch gasping slightly in reply before holding her hand up a little to the left of mine. Is she blind? Wait!!! How the hell did I forget her too?!?!

Taking her hand I shake it with a nod, these girls are both second years now too. How did I _not_ notice this during last year besides the Sorting!? Have I been ‘living’ too much? What else did I miss?!

‘’Sorry about not shaking your hand at first! I’m blind so I didn’t see it’’ Sally informs me, pushing away some of her blonde curls that tickled her nose. ‘’That’s okay’’ studying her I shake my head, _woah_, going to Hogwarts whilst blind that must be insanely difficult. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I couldn’t read. 

**James POV   
**Watching the sorting is boring. That’s what it is, honestly, truly, horribly boring. ‘’How many more?’’ I mumble tiredly, glancing up from my arms. ‘’This is the last one’’ Remus answers. Sitting up a bit I grin, great! I need my Food. Letting my eyes wander a bit they land on Evans, the girl is sitting next to Alice and is staring at Hermione with a frown above those beautiful green eyes. Following her eye line I notice that Hermione is completely ignoring her. Her golden eyes focusing on the sorting hat, though it’s clear she isn’t actually paying attention at all.

She’s chewing her bottom lip mindlessly and seems to be completely in trace when her eyes flare back to light and they flick to Evans for a moment. Looking away again she frowns, blinking a few times as though to wake herself before sighing. What happened between them?

As far as I’m aware the two were best friends with each other and Snivellus! Grimacing at the memory I turn my gaze to my hands, honestly I _had_ regretted it. I even wrote a dozen letters to Hermione with apologies, but somehow none of them ever left my desk. Not even when Marlene exploded at me about me being an asshole, I should’ve send them.

When all the Food appears on the table out of seemingly nowhere I jump up. ‘’What’s up with you mate?’’ Sirius asks with a laugh, grabbing a piece of chicken. ‘’Nothing, just tired I guess’’ glancing at Sirius I frown, he doesn’t look all that fantastic either. And I haven’t forgot the summer yet.

_‘’So you’re friends with three boys and this girl right?’’ Mum asks, smiling at me from the other side of the table. As if! Scoffing I shake my head, ‘’just the lads mum, Marlene and I rarely talk at school!’’ Besides flipping each other off of course. ‘’Not Marlene darling, the other girl? Hermione? You mentioned her quite often in your letters.’’ ‘’No she’s a nasty traitor, not a friend.’’ I exclaim, quickly continuing before mum can give me a whole speech about being responsible and forgiveness and tata. ‘’But I’ve become really food mates with Sirius, Remus and Peter!’’ ‘’Is that so? Tell me about them?’’ Thank Merlin. ‘’Well you obviously already know Peter, from primary school? And Remus is really cool, he’s incredibly smart and helps us with our homework and all that. He hangs out a lot with Hermione and Marlene though so you know…’’ Shrugging I swallow a load of my ice cream before continuing, ‘’and finally Sirius! He’s a Black but not at all like his cousins, after all, he’s in Gryffindor! We’ve been pranking the Slytherins together and he’s simply hilarious!’’ Yes Sirius is definitely the coolest! ‘’Sirius? Orion’s son?’’ Mum asks in surprise and meeting her eyes I nod. ‘’Yes, he has a younger brother too, Regulus should start this year actually. Maybe he’ll get sorted into Gryffindor as well, Sirius definitely hopes so!’’ Mum glances at dad before frowning at me, ‘’be careful around Sirius though dear, family _is_ family after all.’’ Frowning I put down my spoon. ‘’What do you mean?’’ ‘’Well.. the Blacks are a dangerous family James, they use dark magic and.. well they’re dangerous. Just remember that.’’ ‘’Sirius isn’t dangerous.’’ Frowning I scoot my chair back, ‘’are you trying to tell me that my best friend might try to hurt me?!’’ My best friend that wakes up weekly from nightmares because of whatever happened to him at home!??! I’m very aware that his family isn’t very pleasant, but Sirius is _nothing_ like that. Scowling at my parents I shake my head angrily, ‘’I can’t believe you!’’ Turning to my dad I narrow my eyes, ‘’do you think so too? I need to be ‘careful’ around him!?’’ ‘’I think you should take your mothers words to heart son’’ he replies after a moment of silence. ‘’How dare you!?!? You always tell me not to judge a book by its cover blah blah blah and now!??! You just _assume_ he’s awful because his parents are?!!? His parents that, by the way, abuse him?!’’ Laughing coldly at them I shake my head and run to my room. How dare they?! How dare they say that?!?!_

_That night I couldn’t even sleep that’s how angry I was. I kept turning and twisting until finally I just give up with a groan. ‘’Fucking hell’’ I mutter, dragging a hand through my hair I wander down the hall to the stairs. The house is already dark but I’ve been here my entire life, I don’t need lights. Walking down the stairs I freeze when I hear something that is undoubtedly the fire of the fireplace blowing up. Footsteps follow quickly along with some coughing and a soft, ‘’James?’’ Sirius?! Gasping I rush to the living room, ‘’Sirius!’’ Holy shit. Merlin he looks horrible. ‘’Hey mate’’ he coughs, tears streaming down his face. His arms are _covered_ with gashes and bruises, his clothes are ripped and he has a swollen black eye. There’s even blood coming through his shirt spreading over his stomach rapidly and rushing over to him I blindly pull him in a hug. He just crashes in my arms, sobs making his entire body shake. My blood boils in my veins and on Merlin’s life I swear if I ever get my hands on his parents I’ll _kill_ them. How can they do something like this to their son?! Their child?!?! Gently I lead Sirius over to the couch, he can’t seem to stop crying and curls into my arms once we’ve sat down. ‘’Ssh..’’ I whisper, ‘’you’re save now, they won’t hurt you here.’’ Swallowing thickly I blink my own tears away, ‘’don’t worry. We’ll keep you save, I promise Sirius.’’ _

_‘’James?’’ My heart jumping up in my heart my eyes fly to the door way, it’s been awhile now since Sirius has finally quieted down, I reckon he fell asleep about ten minutes ago. Hearing my mother’s voice though makes me tighten my grip on my friend, glancing up I meet her worried gaze. She gasps when she truly sees Sirius, as well as all the blood that’s now covering me as well. She doesn’t speak, only rushes forwards to gently lift Sirius from my arms. He whimpers softly, curling into her with a shudder. ‘’Mum?’’ I question softly, raising as well. She just nods to the stairs, I nod before following her up to my room. She settles him on my bed softly, moving her wand over him in difficult patterns I only recognise from her having performed them on me when I had wounds myself. Once she’s done she quickly spells him into one of my pyjamas, and all I can do is standing still next to her and watch. _

_Finally she pulls me outside and stares into my eyes deeply, it’s making me uncomfortable. ‘’I’m sorry’’ she finally whispers, ‘’I’m really, truly sorry.’’ I nod, staring at the closed door of my bedroom. ‘’That’s okay’’ though it isn’t, not really. ‘’No. It isn’t James. I never should’ve said those things, and I’m not saying this because of seeing this but because he’s your best friend James and I trust your judgement.’’ ‘’Thanks mum’’ I mumble, smiling softly. ‘’Go, sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow, I love you.’’ ‘’Love you too’’ I mumble, returning back to my room. Curling up next to Sirius I swallow thickly, he whimpers before curling up against me again. ‘’You’re save’’ I repeat. He’s save. He’s save. He’s save now. _

But he went back home not even a few days later.

**Lily POV **  
Sitting on my bed I’m supposed to be reading a book, but my eyes keep flickering up over the edge to the bed on the other side of the room. On it Hermione and Marlene are giggling together as Marlene is painting her nails and Hermione showing her pictures from a magazine and asking her about some guy she doesn’t know. Alice would’ve for sure been there had she not been meeting up with some boy. I only even know this because when Marlene entered she loudly exclaimed she couldn’t believe Alice found herself a man during the summer.

Even the other two girls of our dormitory are having a swell time together giggling and catching up, Candice and Millie are sweet but they usually prefer their own company over ours. Or at least mine. Millie is currently looking through her camera as Candice is writing something down next to her, both completely oblivious to the world outside of Millie’s bed at the moment.

Returning my gaze to Marlene’s bed I sigh, returning my eyes to my unread book.

I would never be there again. Hermione hadn’t even looked at me since that one glance and sentence on the train, honestly I get it, but still… Ugh, why couldn’t I just have replied?! I did, really! But I never send it… How could I say sorry now!? She probably hates me!

‘’Can I do yours now?’’ Marlene exclaims loudly, drawing my eyes back over my book. ‘’Hell no! Keep that away from me!’’ Hermione laughs, pulling her feet away with wide eyes. Rolling her eyes Marlene falls back on her pillows, last year I would’ve been right there at the bed post. Before I messed it all up.

Dragging a hand through her hair Hermione glances at her watch, ‘’I need to go.’’ ‘’What? Now, it’s nearly 10?’’ ‘’I have a meeting about my control’’ Hermione answers with a shrug, shooting her a glance that Marlene seems the know the meaning off as she nods. ‘’Well alrighty then, don’t stay up too late though missy!’’

Hermione grins before bowing dramatically and leaving the room without another word. Glancing back at Marlene I blanch before lowering my eyes quickly, not missing her scoff. When I look back up a few minutes later she’s drawn her curtains closed and I don’t think I’ve never felt more left out.

**Hermione POV   
**‘’Good evening Hermione!’’

Looking up I nod politely, I hate being here. I’ve learned to go to the Great Hall three times a day without seeing all the dead bodies spread out on the floor. I’ve learned to go to the Quidditch pitch and _not_ see it in burning, I learned to see people that were either dead or broken in my time and alive and happy here. But this room? I enter and it’s _exactly_ the same. Because there never was a dead body in this room or screaming and blood. Nothing to disconnect it from.

No this room is all mental abuse, where Harry would learn things, but never the right things. Where he would finally get answers, but always too late. This is where he learned and decided he had to die. 

Lies, prophesies, secrets, hatred is what lies in these walls. That’s what this room reminds me off. And those blue twinkling eyes behind half-moon glasses make it all the worse.

‘’Why did I have to come?’’ I ask stiffly. Meeting his gaze I raise my eyebrows upon feeling my magic pressure my walls, he’s about to make a decision. But now there’s not only my own magic fighting the walls but another presence, he’s trying to push through my barriers. Lashing out at him angrily I feel him retreat hastily, yes you _better_. I have to keep back a growl I can actually feel burning in my throat as my eyes probably flash an angry yellow to show my annoyance.

And at last he begins to speak, ‘’I want to talk to you about your progress.’’ I bet he hasn’t even told Minerva I’m here. Rising from my seat I walk to the door, ‘’ask my mother Albus. We have an agreement, and as you must be aware, right now I cannot help you yet. I need those ingredients I asked you for _months_ ago and I need more practise.’’ Or control, or the opposite. Hell if I know by now. Also, he should’ve gotten me those ingredients weeks ago, it’s not my fault he hasn’t. Nor is it my fault that I _can’t_ help him yet. I just… I just don’t know how.

Walking through the empty halls I glance out of the window with a frown, I’m back only a day and already he’s pestering me. He couldn’t even wait a _day_. Dragging my hand through my hair I lean against the wall tiredly before sliding down and sitting on the window edge with a sigh. Covering my face with my hands for a moment I take a deep breath. I want to help. I _really_ want to. But even now that I’m more connected to my core I can’t seem to focus enough to see… see what I need to see.

I can’t see anything of people I haven’t met yet and it’s so terribly frustrating. Glaring up at the moon I shake my head, ‘’what do I do?’’ Staring at it I grimace, only one more day and it would be a full moon. ‘’Everything I do… it’s not enough.’’ Merlin I’m throwing such a pity party right now.

When a crash behind me suddenly echoes through the hall I jump up, pointing my wand at the empty air with a weary look. I slide into fighting position easily, but not as easily as it used to be and it worries me. I need to be in fighting condition even if there isn’t a war yet.

Lowering my wand I grimace, there’s nothing here. Silently I drag a hand through my hair and glance at the moon one more time. I might just go crazy talking to the moon like that but truly who am I kidding? I’ve gone crazy years ago.

Stifling a chuckle I continue my way to the Gryffindor tower, I can’t give up. I won’t give up.

**James POV   
**It’s the first night back at Hogwarts and Peter and Sirius have already falling into a good natured fight, rolling over the ground laughing. Even Remus is busy unpacking his stuff with a relaxed expression as he mumbles about having forgotten things.

But I just… ugh I’m restless. I can’t sit still and pacing around brings absolutely no satisfaction. Grabbing my cloak I run to the door, ignoring Peter and Remus’s warnings about being out after curfew before leaving the tower all together.

Strolling through the halls I take a deep breath, there’s something relaxing about walking in the abandoned halls with my invisibility cloak. But it ends up not being abandoned at all. Backing myself against the wall my eyes bore into the corner where I can clearly hear footsteps coming from. Are there already prefects patrolling!? I do have my cloak though, so I should be fine.

It’s… it’s Hermione. Sucking in a deep breath I try to press myself if possible even further back into the wall. She looks almost angry as she passes me, her eyes clouded with thoughts and yet she stops _right_ in front of me. Picking her moment is she?! Could she tell I’m here? No… right? With Hermione you never really know…

But she doesn’t turn to me, instead she just stands frozen for a moment. Her anger washing away and being replaced by a sort sadness, her eyes moving to the window she wonders over to it mindlessly. Only Hermione would be out after curfew and not even be bothered to pay attention.

‘’What do I do?’’ Jumping up I stare at the back of her head, did she just talk. Not to me right?! ‘’Everything I do… it’s not enough.’’ She sounds sad, what happened? Ignoring the uneasy feeling in my stomach I step closer to her, she looks sad too.

I’m about to step closer when my legs shoot out from underneath me, my feet sliding through a pool of rainwater I had missed before I crash to the ground loudly. FUCK. Sucking in a load of air I watch Hermione jump up with her wand in her hand, looking around with glowing yellow eyes as a soft growl escapes her throat. Shit. Shit she looks like she’s ready for a full on duel she wouldn’t mind slaughtering.

Oh thank Merlin. Thank you, thank you, thank you she lowers her wand. There’s even a flash of amusement in her eyes before she turns and leaves without a word. Holy shit I don’t think I’ve ever been more terrified in my life. And worried. What the hell happened?

She looked even worse than she had that day I confronted her after I saw her with Snivellus! That had been horrible, she had looked almost broken with tears in her eyes and just… so disappointed in me. I hate it. She had no right to look like that! It had even shattered the resentment I had felt but she had already left before I could say anything again.

Even though it’s her fault!! She should have never been with Snivellus! Isn’t Evans’s betrayal to the Gryffindor house bad enough?! Wait one fucking second though. Did her eyes just _glow_!?!?!?

By the time I return to the dormitory the others are already fast asleep. But I can’t seem to find it, and when I do it’s restless full of nerves, guilt, anger and those two glowing yellow eyes were right in the damn middle. 

Waking up the next morning I wander down the stairs sleepily, all night I’ve been turning and twisting and I still don’t have a clue about what happened. And… should I give Hermione another chance? Maybe I should try to figure out why she and Snivellus became friends in the first place? Scoffing I shake my head, she didn’t come and try to apologize to me either! So why should I?!

Chewing on my lip I enter the Great Hall, my eyes flicking to the girl in question instantly, well fuck.

She _had_ come to me multiple times before the summer. She’d even talked to Remus and Peter about us saying she would forgive us, _and_ she even send a letter to me! Of course she fucking tried. 

‘’James!!’’ Turning around absently it takes a moment for me to focus on the person standing in front of me. ‘’Woah mate, you look like you’ve seen a ghost!’’ Sirius laughs, glancing over my shoulder. ‘’Of course that’s not entirely impossible here…’’ Seeing the ghost he nods at I roll my eyes with a laugh and follow him to the table.

Dropping my head on my arms I groan, ‘’I slept _horribly_!’’ And… frowning I glance up at my friends, ‘’I think I’m going to apologize to Hermione’’ I mumble. She’s out friend, and mum gave me this whole speech about forgiving and people earning second chances. Hermione deserves one as well, I think. I mean… if she also apologizes.

‘’Wait what?! James, she studies with our mortal enemy!’’ Sirius exclaims, though Remus’s frown quickly stops from continuing. ‘’I think it’s a great idea’’ Remus states, Peter nodding excitedly, ‘’yea! That way Remus and I won’t have to study with her behind your backs anymore’’ he exclaims. To which Sirius gets such a look of betrayal on his face it would’ve been funny had Remus not rolled his eyes tiredly. ‘’We never really hid it’’ he mumbles before rolling his shoulders, ‘’anyway… my mother got sick again so I have to go home for a few days to take care of her.’’ Frowning I turn to him, again?

‘’Really? What happened?’’ Peter exclaims. ‘’Nothing feral, the usual really. She just needs me right now’’ Remus mumbles vaguely. Nodding I grimace, his mother is sick quite often.

Changing the subject Remus turns to me, ‘’so when are you going to talk to her?’’ he asks, yes… when… Groaning again my eyes look to the other side of the table, fi- where is she? I frown and sit up to look better, ‘’where did she go?’’ I ask. Looking around my frown deepens when I finally find her, ‘’what is she doing?’’ I mumble, too soft for anyone to hear. She’s standing in the shadows of a corner all the way in the back, arguing angrily with a professor I can’t recognise. Turning my eyes to the teacher’s table my eyebrows rise, she’s arguing with the headmaster?!

I quickly return my attention to her when she suddenly points angrily at the, what I assume is the headmaster, before pointing to… us?! What?! Her eyes are glowing yellow again when they meet mine, and I can clearly see the anger in them before they widen and turn back to the professor.

Shaking her head she says one more thing before stalking away, seconds later Headmaster Dumbledore also leaving the shadows. And it _definitely_ is Dumbledore. What the hell is going on?

Wait, ‘’Marlene!!’’ I exclaim when I spot the light haired girl walking past. ‘’Ye- What the hell do _you_ want?’’ Glaring at me she folds her arms, well good morning to you too!

Frowning I glance at the door, ‘’do you maybe know where Hermione is? I’d like to apologize to her’’ I mumble. Would Marlene even know where she is? Though if there’s anyone that _would_ know it would be her.. Her eyebrows rising she glances at the head table, interesting… ‘’Is that so?’’ she mumbles before shaking her head and turning back to me.

‘’I don’t know where she is, but I can tell you where she will be.’’ ‘’Well where then?’’ ‘’She’ll be missing classes today, but she’ll be back for dinner. She wanted to go to her mum before though so if you want to catch her I think your best chance would be before or after she talks to her mum.’’ ‘’She’s missing classes today? Why?’’ 

Curious… arguing with the headmaster and missing classes? What’s going on?! I want to know what and I want to know now.

‘’Yea’’ Marlene replies, ‘’she got stuff going on in her private life, maybe she’ll tell you if you’re her friend again, until then, you can bugger off from prying with me’’ she adds before turning around and joining Alice, whom had also just left the table. But before they’ve completely left she turns back with a frown, ‘’you really hurt her Potter. You and Black both. You screw her over again I won’t hold back for her sake’’ she hisses, Alice nodding behind her with a frown.

Frowning I nod silently, watching them go before turning back to my friends. ‘’So?’’ Remus asks, to which I grin, ‘’I can catch her before dinner’’ can’t wait.

Though I did wait.

Long.

Classes pass like fucking snails and when Sirius decides we should just bail on History I jump up at the suggestion, Remus and Peter following suit. Deciding to enjoy the last of the summer’s sun before winter rolls around again we’re all lying on the ground when about three hours later Marlene and Alice lie down a few meters away from us. They’re both reading but though Alice is lost in a book, Marlene is flipping through a magazine when Evans shows up with Snivellus.

Alice greets them without much energy, glancing up from her book with a nod before continuing whereas Marlene doesn’t even put in that small amount of energy. Instead closing her magazine with a scowl and grabbing a different one. I can’t see Evans’s or Snivellus’s face, but suddenly Marlene stiffens and hisses something at them with a look of such fury I’m reminded of my childhood days when that was directed at me.

Well, usually it still is. I can promise you that Marlene is not someone you want to be on the wrong side of. Right now she looks about ready to rip their throats out when they reply. I’d give anything right now to be able to hear them!

It’s as if Marlene hears my wish for she rises her voice with a yell, ‘’get the _fuck_ away from me’’ she growls. Alice quickly rests an arm on her gently, mumbling something that makes Marlene take a deep breath.

‘’Lily’s apologizing?’’ Looking over my shoulder I meet Remus’s eyes with a frown, ‘’you know what’s going on?’’ I ask, to which he lowers his book with a frown also, ‘’well’’ he start slowly, ‘’not exactly, but everyone knows how much Marlene despises Lily.’’ That’s true. But it’s obvious he’s holding something back, ‘’you know something about this?’’ But he doesn’t answer. I guess I wouldn’t like it either if he’d tell Hermione and Marlene all about me and Sirius if we’d ever get in a fight. As if though.

‘’Well if you’d ask me I’d say she’s right,’’ Sirius pipes up, looking up from his own magazine, ‘’I mean, come on, the girl hangs around Snivellus all the time and is a fucking bitch to everyone when he’s around!’’ 

‘’I think everyone that hangs around Snivellus will be a little brainwashed anyways. By his _smell_!’’ Peter exclaims, grinning wildly and Sirius mimics him with a nod, ‘’oh you got that right Pete! Besides, you’ve got to be a mental already if you can even bear to be near it!’’

Frowning I glance back at the group, ‘’not everyone.’’ I mutter, not Hermione. ‘’Oh come on James! Evans is so deep in, she doesn’t even know it yet.’’ ‘’Well..’’ frowning I shrug, ‘’I’m sure that is someone offers her a way out she’ll take it!’’ ‘’No way’’ Sirius laughs in disbelief, ‘’please James, don’t kid yourself! You can’t honestly believe Evans isn’t completely bonkers!?’’ Hearing the challenge in his voice I stand up with a smirk, ‘’challenge accepted. I’ll show you!’’

Remus and Peter exchange amused grins before jumping up along with Sirius, ‘’very well, show me Jamsie’’ Sirius exclaims with a smirk. Oh I’ll show him alright!

**Marlene POV**  
Okay yea, that’s it, I’m going to kill her. I’m going to kill her right now, I am!

‘’Marlene… think about Hermione’’ Alice mumbles, placing her hand softly on my arm. I glance angrily at her, Evans had just come to us with _Snape_, is she fucking barmy?!

But remembering Hermione I take a deep breath, ‘’fine’’ I hiss, ‘’why do I even care?!’’ Sitting back against the tree I open my new magazine angrily. ‘’Thank you’’ Lily mumbles and I can see Snape leave out of the corner of my eyes, she fucking needed him for support?! Just to sit with us?! What kind of drama queen is she?!

Scoffing I flip the page, now seeing damn cute summer dresses did calm me down, but when Potter and his goonies walk over to us I fall right back into my sour mood. Fucks sake.

‘’It’s not dinner yet’’ I say gruffly, glancing up from my magazine for a second. ‘’Oh want to go have dinner with us love?’’ Sirius chuckles, my eyes flickering over to him I scoff. ‘’As if, have you looked in the mirror lately Black?’’ ‘’Oh actually I have, why shouldn’t I if I look like this?’’ He replies, probably smirking, ‘’though with all that time you spend staring at magazines I’m not surprised you haven’t looked at yourself lately. You’d think you’d pick up some fashion tips from it, but even that you couldn’t do..’’

Scowling I glare up at him, ‘’tosser.’’ ‘’Tart.’’ ‘’Arsehole.’’ ‘’Munter.’’ _Excuse me_?!?! ‘’Oh just fucking stick it up your arse will you!?’’ ‘’Come on now love-‘’ ‘’Sirius?’’ ‘’Yes Jamsie?’’ ‘’Shut up will you.’’ Rolling his eyes Sirius winks at me before turning around, arsehole.

‘’Hey Lily’’ James finally exclaims with a bright grin on his face. And I honestly have to keep my mouth from dropping open. Evans herself freezing over when he spoke to her and when he realizes that she isn’t going to answer he drops his smile a little before continuing, ‘’I wanted to ask you if you’d like to come watch the Quidditch try-outs this Saturday?’’ Glancing at the lads behind him he shrugs, ‘’you know, cheer us on and all that?’’

Okay yes now my mouth actually drops open, no fucking way! Glancing at Alice I see her looking just as astonished, turning to Evans at the same time as me we see her turn around slowly. Eyeing the boys before slowly shaking her head, ‘’no…’’

‘’Everyone’s gone bonkers’’ I mumble to Alice under my breath, she has to keep from laughing as she nods in agreement. I swear, everyone’s lost it. ‘’Why not?’’ James asks cheerily, and Evans eyes him with raised eyebrows, ‘’I don’t like you’’ she informs him bluntly and I suddenly like her a whole lot better than I used to.

Straight forward, I like that. ‘’Well you showed us mate!’’ Sirius laughs, clapping James on the back before bowing to us. Now focusing his eyes on Alice as he smirks, ‘’ladies’’ he whispers before turning around and throwing his arm over Remus and Peter’s shoulders to steer them away. James follows them after a moment, looking absolutely perplexed but there’s also a new glint in his eyes I’ve never seen before. This could be interesting..

Watching them leave I finally start laughing, ‘’well I’ll be damned’’ I exclaim. Alice joining me with laughing whilst Evans just sits there in confusion, ‘’did James Potter just…’’ shaking her head in disbelieve she trails off. No fucking way!!

Maybe she’s not so bad after all! Laughing I shake my head again, can’t wait to tell Hermione!

**Hermione POV**  
Walking down the stairs I’m grumbling to myself, all day I’ve spend with Minerva and Albus. All fucking day I’ve been with them, spending the morning in my Leopard shape to try and get control over more than just 10 minutes. Any long and I’d become the actual animal until I turn back from exhaustion, as we’ve learned this morning. With Minerva’s help though I’m slowly starting to embrace the animal side of me, really slowly though.

Anyway, after that we’d gone to Minerva’s quarters where Albus was already waiting for us. Seeing as I can’t concentrate at all in his office we’ve started to have the meetings there to try to help me. Two fucking hours I sat there, holding a picture of a guy I didn’t know. Two hours and every time I even came close to clearing my mind there was something, _anything_ that drew my attention away.

‘’Hermione!’’

I mean, how hard could it be to clear your mind?! I started practicing Occlumency when we were on the run and the meditation had always been the fun part! Turning everything off for once, not having to worry about anything. It had been so relaxing.

And now?

‘’Hermione! Wait up! Please?’’

Now, honestly things are horrible, there are too many things on my mind. I need to safe everyone and yet every morning there are new deaths in the paper and as if that isn’t enough, Albus is pestering me almost every day about simply joining the order so I could at least see their futures. Something I refuse to do, because I don’t _want_ to see the thousands of ways they could possibly die and then proceed to inform them of this. Or tell them what they could try to avoid it, which usually won’t work either way because I can’t exactly see when they die or what choices _exactly_ lead up to it.

And even if I can, sometimes there’s nothing they can do to prevent it from happening. I’ve seen futures of random children on the street that would die within three years of an illness nothing could save them from. Nothing.

It might sound selfish or childish but I don’t _want_ to be the person to have to tell them this. Hypocrite that I might be. Besides, Albus might’ve been able to convince me were it not for Minerva absolutely forbidding me from joining the order already. Something I’m very happy to cling onto.

‘’Hermione!!’’

Especially with my magic still not listening to me in the slightest, having an anchor and being more at peace with my primal side helps. But my primal side has also brought up this animalistic side of me and that is much harder to control. Albus has tried to help me with it, but he has no fucking cl- who the hell is touching my shoulder?!?!

Turning around in a flash I press my wand against the throat of my offender, ‘’fucking hell’’ I hiss, dropping my hand when I realize it’s James, ‘’you scared the shit out of me’’ I growl. Taking a deep breath I look down with a frown to see claws retrace in my fingers and my teeth shape back to normal, I thought this morning helped… though right now I’m still very much in touch with my animal side because of that exact reason.

‘’I called you multiple times!’’ James defends himself and I roll my eyes before continuing to walk. ‘’What is it?’’ I ask stonily, I really can’t use any more shit today.

James doesn’t reply at first, but I can hear him following me, his heartbeat’s beating quite fast and when I glance at him I realise he’s nervous. It makes me stop walking, ‘’is something wrong?’’ I ask, frowning.

‘’What? No, no nothing’s wrong! Well…’’ frowning he stumbles over his words and I eye him curiously, ‘’I’m… I’m… I’m…’’ Realisation dawning I grin, an honest to god smile. ‘’I forgive you’’ I say softly, ‘’I’m sorry too’’ I then add quickly. True, he was being stupid, but I lashed out way too strong too.

Looking at me with wide eyes his mouth opens and closes for a few times before he shakes his head, ‘’really?’’ he mumbles, ‘’I heard from Remus why you were helping Snivellus and I felt horrible, and I wanted to apologize but I didn’t know how, and I really am… sorry… for being so mean to you…’’

I couldn’t stop myself from grinning and neither could I stop myself to walk forward and pull him in a tight hug, ‘’that’s okay’’ I say with a laugh, happy when he unfroze and hugged me back, ‘’I wasn’t really that mad at you anymore anyways’’ I joke. Pulling back I look into his brown eyes with a grin, sure, James and Harry are similar. But this experience drove a large gap in between them and I’m happy that I can finally see James as his own person now. 

Grinning back at me just as happily he nods, ‘’thanks.’’ ‘’No problem, now come on I’m starving!’’ Laughing he nods and falls into step with me in silence, it’s quiet but I haven’t felt this relaxed in ages! It’s like an honest to God mountain sized weight has lifted from my shoulders. Glancing at James I grin, maybe this is exactly what I needed to be able to not focus. No more distractions.

‘’Oh Hermione?’’ James suddenly asks right before we enter the Great Hall, making me stop and turn to him with raised eyebrows. ‘’Are you… uh…’’ frowning he groans, ‘’will you come to the Quidditch try-outs Saturday? Me and Sirius are both trying out, it would be really cool if you and Marley would join us’’ shrugging he glances inside. ‘’Alice can join too’’ he offers, before meeting my eyes again, ‘’though please come?’’ I chuckle softly, smiling before nodding, ‘’of course James, we wouldn’t miss it for the world.’’ ‘’Promise?’’ Rolling my eyes I laugh, bumping my shoulder to his, ‘’I promise’’ I whisper to him before I start walking again.

When we enter the great hall I could feel the eyes of our fellow first years on us, even some of the older students are watching curiously. It’s not exactly a secret that James and I weren’t on speaking terms anymore and the interest everyone already shows in the four boys makes it so that everyone already knows genuinely everything about them.

I can only image it becoming a bigger thing as time continues.

‘’You guys made up?!’’ Marlene exclaims when I sit down in front of her. Glancing at James for a second I see him sit down before I nod, ‘’yea.. All’s good again’’ I chuckle. Marlene laughs before lounging into a wild explanation about what happened this afternoon when I was gone.

James asked Lily to come watch the Quidditch try-outs and when my eyes fall on the red-head that just entered the Great Hall I grin. Maybe everything would turn out okay after all, the infusion James would get with Lily has started and I’ve never felt this relaxed in this life time.

‘’Oh we’re going too’’ I suddenly remember to tell Marlene. ‘’What?’’ she asks, frowning at me. ‘’Yea, James asked right before we entered the great hall. I promised we’d, along with Alice, come to watch for him and Sirius’’ I explain, biting into an apple. ‘’He actually asked you?! And for me too, or are you just being nice by taking me?’’

Rolling my eyes I shake my head, ‘’no he actually asked for you and Alice.’’ ‘’Hmm’’ she mutters, ‘’you just had to go ahead and promise hadn’t you’’ she sighs, before rising up. ‘’Oh well, might as well. now come on, I need to go by the library before it closes to give a book back.’’

‘’You actually have a book from the library?!’’ I ask in surprise, standing up as well, ‘’who are you and what did you do with my Marlene?!’’ I exclaim, following her with a laugh.

‘’It’s a magazine! What exactly do you take me for?!’’ Marlene exclaims looking at me with a ghastly expression. ‘’Oh jeesh I’m so sorry’’ I laugh.

That evening when I’m in my bed I cross my legs with a deep breath. One more quick meditation session before I can go to sleep. Clearing my mind I picture the nothingness surrounding me, nothing but me existing. The calmness stretches out over me lazily, a sigh escaping my lips as I reach out to the strings surrounding my core. Now for the boy… the boy from the photo with inky black hair curling in perfectly styled curls. On the photo he was smirking slightly, his grey eyes distantly recognisable. Through the tangling mess of the golden ropes one softly starts calling out to me and excitement pools in my stomach. Slowly but steadily a rope weaves itself towards where I stand, I can actually see it being created. It looks different than the ones I know, more rougher, vaguer.

I can see it isn’t a simple strand that splits into multiple other ones, no this one is dimmer, it splits less and there are moments when there are small strands sticking out of the braided bit that are cut off, strands that I couldn’t see, a choice he could make but I couldn’t see as of right now.

I touch the strand gently, feeling myself get pulled into visions. First I see a boy in Hogwarts, it’s clear and it’s obviously the boy from the picture. Steadily I’m pulled through flashes of moments where he spends every single one of them with six boys. Their faces are hazy and I can’t see any defining features but the strands makes me feel like their names are on the tip of my tongue. But then the flashes become vaguer, the edges becoming rough and the boy is no longer a boy but a man. Married and with two sons, but that’s all I can see. The world is like a grey blur where sometimes I can see a woman’s face come into focus, and sometimes his friends with runes dancing around in the air around them, rituals. Suddenly he’s moving through a forest, he’s old. I can’t sense anymore if this is the past, present or future.

The change of scenery that followed didn’t flow through but instead I felt like someone dragged me out and threw me down in a dark pit, there’s three people now. His sons and himself, but instead of seeing his sons like a unclear blur I find myself staring at the youngest of the two. Clearly visible to my eye I can see him biting the inside of his cheek to stop from crying because his father is shouting at him. Shouting words and things I can’t understand or even hear. And then, I’m somewhere else again. I can see the old man standing little ways in front of me, his wand pointed directly at me before a green light lights up everything around us. Arching through the sky from exactly where I’m standing I watch with horror how it hits him in his chest and how he falls to the ground. I can’t see the caster nor the age of the man when he passes. But he will die by the killing curse.

My stomach clenches in pain and everything is dark with the strand having reached it’s end when some invisible force throws me out of my mind prompting me to fall back on my bed with a yell. Rubbing my forehead I stare at the top of my bed. I’ve done it. I saw the future of someone I’ve never met before!

It was unclear and the edges were rough, but I know he’d die by the killing curse. I know he’s part of Voldemort’s inner circle! At least, I saw vague memories of him at a table with more men, mostly those I also saw during his Hogwarts years?

Jumping out of my bed I grab my slippers, I need to talk to Minerva and Albus right away!

‘’Hermione?’’ Glancing to my left I grin, Marlene’s tired face grimaces back before shaking, ‘’you okay?’’ Grinning I nod, ‘’I’m brilliant Marlene! I’ve never been better!’’ I exclaim, shaking my head in excitement I can’t keep the grin off of my face, ‘’never been better’’ I repeat with a nod. ‘’I need to speak to my mother!’’ I then exclaim, ignoring Marlene’s surprised questions I rush out of the dormitory down the stairs and through the common room.

It’s only when I arrive in Minerva’s quarters that I realize I’m only wearing my pyjama, but by that time I realise this it’s too late to care because Minerva already opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my world


	11. I actually did it

‘’That’s amazing Hermione!’’

Grinning I nod excitedly at Minerva, ‘’I know right!?’’ I laugh, ‘’I just… I just tried one more time because I felt so relaxed after dinner and it worked!’’ Shaking her head in amazement Minerva grins, ‘’I’m so proud of you.’’ I can’t help but blush at her praise before shrugging, ‘’we need to tell Albus’’ I say slowly, ‘’I mean, I’ve been trying to put it off since I don’t really want to be the bearer of bad news. But now I can look into parts of the past of people I’ve never even met, and maybe I can finally do something for the order other than tell them how not to die!’’

‘’Alright, I’ll call him over right away’’ Minerva nods, sending a Patronus off with a message. ‘’But before he arrives, tell me why you were suddenly so relaxed? What happened?’’ Nodding I grimace, waiting for her to finish calling a house elf for some tea before answering. ‘’Honestly? I’m not entirely sure, it might have to do with the fact I finally made up with James?’’ ‘’Your tea missus Minnie!’’ ‘’Thank you Hinny’’ watching the house elf leave I grin. Minerva’s always kind to the house elves, thankfully, and they always feel very humbled when someone thanks them for their services.

Turning to me Minerva rises her eyebrows, ‘’did he actually apologize?’’ ‘’Well he tried to, he couldn’t get the words out’’ I chuckle, ‘’but we agreed to forgive each other.’’ Minerva laughed softly at that, the boys aren’t big on apologies, we never expected them to actually cave any more, especially after last year’s confrontation.

‘’And after everything was forgiven and we were walking down the stairs everything just…’’ shaking my head I look at my hands in amazement. ‘’It felt like a weight had lifted off of my shoulders! And then, at dinner, Marlene told me James had asked Lily out and…’’ I meet Minerva’s eyes with a large grin, ‘’and everything just clicked, I felt so relaxed! I went to my bed later and tried again because everything somehow felt perfect, like it would work this time, I could just feel it would! And then it did!’’

Raising her eyebrows Minerva nods, ‘’that is really amazing Hermione! But…’’ Knowing what she’s probably going to say I shake my head, ‘’I know what you’re thinking but no, I was ecstatic!’’ I exclaim, she made a soft sound of amazement before I continue.

‘’Though because of this experience, I feel like James and Harry have truly become separate people,’’ I say, ‘’I always knew this of course, but I couldn’t help but feel like James connected me to Harry. Everything he did I compared to Harry… and now it’s like… I’ve accepted he’s not Harry and that everything he does, shouldn’t be like Harry’’ grimacing I roll my eyes, ‘’if that makes sense?’’

Minerva nods slowly, ‘’actually it makes perfect sense, also, when you accepted this you inadvertently also accepted that this is your life now… you accepted that the people you knew are not here anymore, you’re making peace with it’’ I stare at her with wide eyes, that could very much be true, I did accept that they aren’t the same person, but do I thereby let Harry go?

Sirius and Remus and all the other people I know from this timeline and the others I had already let go, they never meant as much to me as Harry did, as Harry and Ron did, but Ron doesn’t have a version similar to him here so I clung to Harry through James.

But now that I let him go too, I accepted that that was the past and this is my present? Did I really?

‘’Minerva, Hermione’’ looking up in surprise I nod to Albus when he enters, he’s wearing a pair of frilly blue and white pyjama robes glancing at Minerva I realize only now she’s also wearing her sleeping gown, what time is it?

Minerva greets him too before nodding to the chair opposite of us, offering him a cup of tea that he readily accepted.

We don’t exchange any pleasantries and instead immediately get down to business. ‘’I did it’’ I state, a proud grin on my face, fuck yea I did. ‘’You did it?’’ Albus replies with a twinkle in his eyes and a smile on his face, I nod. ‘’Yes, remember the photo you showed me? I tried to focus on it again when I got to my bed an hour or so ago and I actually found his strand this time.’’

Grimacing I frown, ‘’granted, the strand was vague and, quickly explained, had rough edges. But it’s a start. I saw a lot about his past, especially at Hogwarts and I had only his photo to go on. The strand of his life actually braided itself in my mind, and I could see what I think were the big moments of his life. I do wonder though, who is he exactly? I tried to figure out his name but I just… I could catch it.’’

Albus doesn’t answer for a moment before finally nodding, ‘’well, the man whose life you watched is Rodolphus Lestrange.’’ Lestrange?!?! ‘’And I am extremely proud of you Hermione, the information you hopefully will be able to gather soon will be priceless in the dark days to come.’’ I know that’s what he focuses on but I can’t… ‘’Rodolphus Lestrange… he has two sons?’’ ‘’Indeed, the oldest is currently starting his final year and the youngest is in your year I do believe.’’ That would make sense, I am indeed in the same year as Rabastan Lestrange.

‘’Could you tell us what you saw?’’ Albus suddenly asks and I nod, ‘’yes I can. I know he was sorted into Slytherin and became best friends with six other guys of which I do not know the names?’’ Staring Albus in the eyes for a moment I raise my eyebrows before I continue, ‘’I could feel the admiration he felt for the leader of the group. How _right_ he thought the boy was about something. Even after Hogwarts ended this ‘leader’ kept showing up, surrounded by runes. They were doing rituals together, none I could recognize or see clearly enough. Finally he married a lady and they had two miscarries before she gave birth to her first son. And all this time he was feeling excited about something, about word that was spreading about His power between people. All hopeful they’d be asked for something but Lestrange believed he was already in either way?’’

I grimace before looking back up, ‘’after that nothing big really happened any more, I was mostly shown runes and stray memories of him talking to his family but I couldn’t hear what he was saying.’’ Studying Albus’s face I frown, ‘’there was _one_ memory though. Very clear, about him getting a mark on his arm with the six other men.’’ This is in fact a lie, but I’m curious what Dumbledore will say about it. And I _did_ see the dark mark float around in the darkness at one point so I can assume.

He doesn’t say anything though. So I continue with a small smile upon seeing Minerva’s pale face, grabbing her hand, ‘’the ‘leader’ disappeared for a long time. But I did see flashes of him after he returned and the feeling of Lestrange towards him had changed, more admiring and fear than trust and agreement. There were also flashes from him standing over people I didn’t know, nor did he, in blood. They felt old, but the strand was so rough I couldn’t exactly feel what was going to happen and had already happened.’’

Dragging a hand through my hair I shrug, ‘’I reckon they already started raiding muggle houses and torture muggle families years ago for practice. As you must’ve seen in the paper’s they’ve only recently started attacking wizarding families, they’re still small but every week it’s one more person and I don’t think the ministry can cover their attacks much longer any more. Which is probably exactly what they want.’’ Catching my breath I wait for Albus to speak up, he doesn’t disappoint.

‘’Is there anything concrete can you tell us about his future?’’ ‘’Honestly? Not a lot. I know he’ll die by a killing curse and I know he’ll send that very curse himself quite often? But there wasn’t a face in his entire life that I could see clearly not… one…’’ but I could. His son, Rabastan? ‘’What is it Hermione?’’ Minerva whispers and I shake my head with a grimace, ‘’nothing, don’t worry about it.’’ I’ll have to look into that part myself.

Focusing back on Albus I shrug, ‘’I can’t tell you when he dies or who kills him either because that both depends on his own choices as well as the killers’. But either way fate will make sure he dies by the killing curse, I can promise you that.’’

This Albus understood, and he nods gratefully at my story, now it’s time for his other questions. ‘’You said that Riddle stayed out of sight for a long time?’’ he asked, his question clear.

‘’Who’s Riddle sir?’’ I ask dryly first before shaking my head, ‘’Riddle disappeared for a while after they got their degrees. Only sometimes he appeared in flashes with runes around him, so only for rituals and Lestrange was only there when he needed more than two people so he’s not his first confidant on the matter.’’ Frowning I glance at Minerva, ‘’do you maybe know his friends their names?’’ I might be able to connect them…

Frowning Minerva shrugs, ‘’I was in school the year above them and in my memory Lestrange always hung around Malfoy and Rosier?’’ ‘’Yes, but also Avery, Nott, Yaxley and Riddle’’ Albus adds, frowning slightly as he rises and moves to the window. Nodding I try to picture the faces of Lestrange’s friends, it’s exhausting and I can literally feel the energy drain out of me as I pull up the faces but I think… ‘’I think Avery or Nott was the one that was also always asked for the three person rituals…’’

My eyes moving to Albus I frown, ‘’there’s one thing though that I felt Lestrange hold onto almost his entire life. The promise of justice. But I don’t understand what he would need justice for, what has the world done to him?’’ Though every feeling I’d gotten from Lestrange had been truly strange, he admired Riddle, loved him almost. But at the same time he feared what his friend had become, despised he had to kneel in front of him and yet mouth watered at the idea of making him proud.

‘’And Lestrange had no idea where it was Riddle spend his time? You said that there were rumours about people being asked for something?’’ Albus asks, the twinkle in his eyes is on full force and I could clearly tell how much he’s enjoying that he’s learning all this new stuff he would have never gained by himself. It made the animal inside of me wanting to slash him.

But instead of letting it do so, I take a deep breath and nod, ‘’yes. I couldn’t actually hear any words but there was something happening, they were preparing to get ready for something. Something Lestrange was already a part of.’’

‘’Preparing?’’ Albus asks immediately and I nod with a frown. ‘’Personally I think it had something to do with the ministry, there was a feeling of smugness when he was inside it. But I genuinely can’t promise you that.’’ Scoffing I lean back on the couch, ‘’honestly it wouldn’t surprise me if they’d already infiltrated the ministry. Doesn’t Malfoy already have the minister in his pocket?’’ I read about Malfoy Sr in the paper and I swear, he is worse than his son would become in the future.

Albus seemed to think hard about this, returning his gaze out of the window.

‘’Thank you Hermione, we’ll talk again tomorrow. Go to bed now’’ Minerva finally whispers to me after a few minutes of silence, not taking her eyes off of Albus. I nod slowly, the exhaustion has been seeping into my bones for a while now, really what time is it? Glancing at Minerva I can see she isn’t very happy about something and she’s about to speak her mind to the subject of her annoyance, I’d love to be a fly on the wall, but I truly am exhausted.

So I stand quietly and leave without another word than Goodnight.

By the time I get back to the dormitory everyone’s still fast asleep and when my head hits my pillow I drift away quickly too. Dreaming about people I don’t recognise, seeing people move about in their lives, doing their everyday thing until there’s someone screaming my name in my ear in such fear I jolt up awake with such a jump I head bump straight into Marlene. Whose face had been hovering right above me.

‘’Marlene?!?!’’ Seeing her wide eyes and all together panicked expression I reach for my wand under my pillow, ‘’what happened?’’ I whisper, already kicking my sheets away. ‘’You…’’ shaking her head she backs away with wide eyes. ‘’I what?!’’ I exclaim, my muscles tensing. ‘’You slept in..’’ What? ‘’My little girl slept in!!!’’ Oh for fucks sake. A growls escapes my lips and she immediately stops laughing before I grimace, ‘’I’m older than you.’’

Grinning she shrugs, ‘’oh what then? My _grandma_ slept in?!’’ Laughing I shake my head before falling back on my pillow, that girl is going to be the death of me, I swear. I should get out of bed though…

‘’Hey did I talk to you last night?’’ Marlene suddenly asks in surprise and glancing at her over my shoulder from trying to drag myself out of bed I nod. ‘’Yea’’ I reply, not offering information about what. ‘’Alright, cool.’’ I scoff before getting dressed and following her down stairs.

‘’Hermione darling’’ a voice exclaims cheerily when I sit down, jumping slightly at it I glance at the reason and raise my eyebrows when they fall on the one and only Sirius Black. ‘’Now I heard that you had forgiven Jamsie here after he forgave you’’ he continues with a small smirk, leaning over to me he grins even broader, ‘’and I’m formally stating that I accept your apology and forgiveness as well!’

Raising my eyebrow I turn to him completely, ‘’is that so?’’ I ask in amusement, but I’m too happy to care about him not actually apologizing. ‘’I’m glad to hear it.’’ ‘’I completely understand, after all I’m _quite_ the amazing person’’ Sirius exclaims with a extravagant wink before his eyes move to Marlene and Alice.

‘’Good morning ladies!’’ ‘’Oh sod off Black’’ Marlene grumbles before proceeding to shove a whole lot of pie in her face. ‘’Good morning Sirius’’ Alice greets, grinning slightly at the boy. Oh? _Oh_?! Raising my eyebrows at her I glance at Marlene, but she’s completely oblivious to the blushing girl next to her.

Shaking my head I laugh before standing up, ‘’excuse me.’’ I lazily start to walk to the door when someone yells out my name behind me. Glancing over my shoulder I come to a halt, ‘’hey James, good morning!’’ ‘’Good morning!’’ James shouts in reply before tripping over his feet and sliding out over the floor.

‘’Are you okay?’’ I laugh when he pushes himself back up, ‘’of course!’’ He exclaims, dusting himself off. Turning to me he grins, ‘’I wanted to ask you something!’’ ‘’Alright then, ask away’’ I say softly, starting to walk again. Falling into step next to me James nods.

Yawning in my hand I grimace, I really shouldn’t have stayed up so late yesterday. I don’t even know until when I stayed up but I feel exhausted! But it was for a good cause.

‘’Hello?’’ Blinking in surprise I shake my head, ‘’sorry what did you say?’’ I ask in surprise, woah zoned out there for a spell. James chuckles before bumping my shoulder with his, ‘’I completely lost you there Hermione’’ he chuckles. I’m about to reply when a student I don’t recognize walks over to me, ‘’Hermione McGonagall right?’’ ‘’That would be me, yes?’’ I answer, glancing at James questioningly but he shrugs helplessly also. ‘’Great! I’ve been looking all over for you, I’ve got a message from Headmaster Dumbledore for you.’’ Accepting the folded parchment I nod my thanks before scanning the note. Great.

Grimacing at James I stop walking, ‘’sorry James but I need to leave. Ask me those questions another time yea?’’ Not waiting for a reply I quickly turn around before starting my walk down to Albus’s office, what could he possibly want _now_?!

**James POV   
**Watching Hermione go I frown in confusion, why would Dumbledore want to talk to Hermione? _Again_?! What could have been in that note? None of my business, none of my business, none of my business…. Damn it if only I had my cloak with me right now!

‘’Oi Jamie!’’ Looking up I grin, ‘’what’s up mate?’’ ‘’You tell me mate, what was all that with Hermione?’’ Rolling my eyes I shrug, not having the chance to reply for Sirius shoves me in the side. ‘’Wha-‘’ ‘’Look’’ following his nod my eyes widen and I smirk, oh hello there Snivellus.

Taking his wand out Sirius smirks, ‘’_Tarantallegra_’’ It’s been his favourite spell ever since Flitwick taught it to us, I don’t think he would be so happy knowing what Sirius keeps using it for. But I definitely enjoy watching Snape dance around uncontrollably! ‘’That spell never loses it’s charm’’ Sirius laughs, high-fiving me.

I honestly can’t agree more. ‘’Especially with Snivellus!’’ ‘’Oh I hear yea!’’ Sirius exclaims before throwing his arm over my shoulders, ‘’now come on, Pete’s waiting for us in the library. Apparently he found this new book!’’ Raising my eyebrows I nod, ‘’very well’’ I laugh, allowing him to steer me the opposite direction.

Glancing at the hand that’s currently resting on my shoulder I freeze, ‘’wait, Sirius.’’ Raising his eyebrows he drops his arm before turning to face me, ‘’you okay Jamsie?’’ He asks playfully, but I can see the nerves in his eyes. ‘’Show me your arms.’’ ‘’What?’’ ‘’I didn’t ask before because Remus and Peter, but show me now.’’ He doesn’t look impressed as he scowls at me, crossing his arms he shakes his head. ‘’There’s nothing to see James’’ ‘’Like hell there isn’t’’ I growl, how can he even say that?! _He’s_ the one that showed up at my house the first day of summer. Even though he had returned home not even a week later after receiving many, many, many howlers from his parents. My parents nearly wouldn’t let him, but in the end they did. They told me they had to because now if something bad happened again he might come back home to us, but he hadn’t. I hadn’t seen or heard from him the _entire_ summer. I only saw him again when I found him hiding in one of the back compartments of the train, and Peter had been with me so I hadn’t asked. But I could _see_ he was hurt again.

‘’I’m fine James’’ he whispers, meeting my eyes he swallows, ‘’the spells your mum gave me really helped. It’s okay.’’ I can’t help but shake my head, because none of this is okay. I was supposed to keep him save damn it. Dragging him into a hug I swallow, ‘’I need you to promise me that you’ll come find me if it happens again.’’ ‘’I promise… I’ll… I’ll do that.’’ ‘’Your save…’’ ‘’I know James, I know.’’ Good.

Pulling away I nod, stuffing my hands in my pockets before grinning, ‘’let’s go find Pete yea?’’ ‘’Yea’’ Sirius nods, grinning as well. ‘’Oh and James?’’ Meeting his eyes I grimace, ‘’don’t worry, I won’t tell’’ I mumble, he nods gratefully in reply. Though really, I don’t feel like that’s a good idea at all.

At the library we sit down at our usual table right in the middle of the library about five minutes later. Remus and Peter are already looking over some books when spotting us, ‘’look, I found this last night!’’ Peter exclaims, shoving a book to us whilst grinning proudly.

‘’Page twenty might be especially interesting don’t you think?’’ He smirks, puffing his chest out and deflating when the shushing lady shushes him angrily. 

Chuckling we flip to the page, oh damn. ‘’Peter you brilliant man!’’ Sirius laughs receiving a prompt shush from Pince. She’s new this year and swear to Merlin she’s the most strict person I’ve met in my entire life. Even worse than Minnie, now that does say something right!? I can’t even for the life of me remember the shushing lady of last year because she _never_ shushed us!

Back to the book though. Studying the page a laugh escapes me, ‘’this is brilliant Pete!’’ ‘’I’m thinking… we break into the Slytherin common room and cast it on everything in sight!’’ Sirius mutters, smirking evilly and this glint shimmering in his eyes that I sure as hell _know_ this is going to be one hell of a prank.

‘’We only need to put a time spell on it’’ Remus informs us, glancing at the formula. ‘’And a physical spell no?’’ ‘’Right, yes.’’ ‘’Oh and what about a reverse spell, that after five minutes it would turn back to normal until…’’ Sirius asks, glancing up at me and Remus with a grin. We could definitely do that!! ‘’Until it turns back again when they touch it?’’ I finish with a smirk copying his, ‘’brilliant!’’

Looking back at the book Sirius chuckles, ‘’so gross.’’ I can’t stop the laugh from escaping me, ‘’definitely. I’ll go get the physical spell!’’ ‘’Ssshhh’’ Ugh that woman. ‘’I’ll get the reverse spell, Pete can you look for the timer spell?’’ Sirius asks and Peter nods excitedly. We all quickly get up as Remus gets started on writing out the formula of the main spell without us needing to ask him.

I find the book easily and returning to the table I flop down next to Remus with a grin, ‘’hey Remi! Do you think it’s possible to combine the timer spell with the reverse spell?’’ I trust my capabilities, but Remus has always been a bit better at the Arithmancy behind spells. He likes reading up on the formulas and put two spells together, I can totally see him create new spells once he actually starts learning about it after third year!

‘’Yes I suppose so… if you connect the timer to the reversing spell through here…’’ Remus mumbles, leaning over the formulas with a frown. Grabbing a piece of parchment I quickly scratch down the possible spells we could use for the timer spell, they’re all for different time spans. Glancing at my notes Remus nods, ‘’yes, see? If you’d combine that part of the equation over there… with the beginning of this one you should be able to connect them through the time spell… here…’’ He mumbles, scratching his thought process down below the formulas with a frown. ‘’Of course..’’ glancing over them I nod, that would work. But there’s still the physical spell as well as the reverse timer spell… 

Jumping up Sirius grins, gaining mine and Remus’s distracted attention. ‘’Well we’re off!’’ He exclaims, clapping his hands and completely ignoring the fierce shush. ‘’We shall continue this tonight but as of now Pete and I have detention!’’ ‘’What did you do this time?’’ I ask, raising my eyebrows in amusement. ‘’Ah, you know…’’ Laughing Sirius waves his hand around, ‘’we found that Snivellus was in _desperate _use of a shower. Flitwick, the old bugger, didn’t quite agree.’’ Rolling his eyes he salutes, ‘’see yea!’’ ‘’Bye guys!’’ Peter chuckles, following Sirius out with both their bags swung over his shoulders. 

Alright then… laughing I roll my eyes before returning my eyes back on the books spread out over the table. A frown almost immediately returning to my face as I start flipping through the pages, ‘’hmm’’ maybe if we take the Vermiculus jinx out… ‘’Hey Remus, do you think it’s possible to get the Vermiculus jinx to intertwine with the effects of a Foetidus jinx?’’ 

Frowning at my suggestion Remus looks at the jinxes I pointed out, ‘’honestly? I’m not sure… you could try to place them both on the object in question though?’’ Reading the information on the jinxes he shakes his head, ‘’but the possibility that you’ll have to cast everything twice is almost certain. Of course you could also try to… no…’’ Looking irritated Remus pulls the book over a little bit before scribbling down notes. Chuckling I grab another book, better look into the physical spell then. After all, we only need it to activate when it gets touched!

It’s forty minutes later when Remus jumps up with a large grin, ‘’I got it!’’ Pushing the book back to me he shows me his notes and points at the bottom of it. ‘’That is the equation of them together’’ he says and grinning I slap his back, ‘’brilliant!’’ Looking over his notes I can’t help but keep nodding as I go through the process. It’s a basic one but it goes deep into the formula of the main spell, the Vermiculus jinx. How Remus is so brilliant in math I’ll never understand.

When dinner rolls around the corner we check out all the books and leave the library with a heavy sigh. I don’t think I’ve spend that long in the library for ages! Besides… ‘’I’m starving!’’ ‘’Ditto’’ Remus nods in agreement. ‘’Oh did you get the timer in the spell?’’ Nodding I grimace, ‘’I think so, but I feel like I’ve missed something… we’ll go check it tonight when we try it out?’’ ‘’Yes, time spells are a tricky thing. Especially since you want to tie it to the reverse spell.’’ Ain’t that the truth. Sitting down in the Great Hall I grin at the sight of all the Food, _brilliant_.

‘’Friends!’’ Looking up from my chicken I raise my eyebrows to see Sirius flop into the seat opposite of us. ‘’Dear friends! I am the bearer of such sad news!’’ Oh are you now? ‘’How come?’’ Remus asks, also raising his eyebrows at our friend. ‘’Sadly… I must announce… that those nasty Slytherins… Ugh I can’t even say it out loud… but they’ve… Oh if I must…’’ ‘’Just get on with it Sirius!’’ I laugh.

Grinning Sirius nods, ‘’alright, alright. Those nasty bastards have changed their password, _again_, of that stinky dungeon. We must soon discover the new one for we cannot let our plan fall into the lake!’’ He whispers tragically before swooning slightly and gasping. Laughing I throw some peas at him before shaking my head, ‘’wait didn’t you have detention?’’

When he smirks I almost regret asking. ‘’Oh yea, I did. But with Slughorn! The old bugger let me out early after I told him I might be able to get him a photo of my uncle.’’ Rolling my eyes I laugh, ‘’your uncle lives in America!’’ ‘’Sure he does, but he’s a famous lad. And _I’m_ the only one of the family he’s still in contact with!’’ Sirius answers with a smug grin, ‘’so if Sluggie has any hope to get in touch with the guy. It’s me.’’

Rolling my eyes I grin upon spotting a flash of red over Sirius’s shoulder. Our fellow Gryf has decided to grace us with her presence! ‘’Oh come on mate, just let it go! You’ve proven you’re an actual failure with girls well enough, let it go’’ Sirius laughs when he sees the girl. As if I’m backing down now though! ‘’As if! Lily dear!!’’ I exclaim, grinning at the red haired witch. Who freezes before turning to me with wide eyes, ‘’what now?’’ She mumbles. Smirking I beckon her over, ‘’wouldn’t you love to sit with us? We have to the pumpkin pies you so love!’’ I ask but she only scowls.

‘’I wouldn’t be sitting with you if you are the last person on the planet Potter.’’ She replies loudly as she flicks her hair over her shoulder, oh thanks...? Turning her back to us she scoffs, muttering something under her breath and moving to sit down next to Alice.

‘’Ouch mate’’ Sirius chuckles. I shake my head though, ‘’I’m not giving up yet!’’ Grinning I shake my head, ‘’I just need to show her I mean it!’’ ‘’You’re already working on a prank James…’’ Remus sighs but meeting my eyes he trails off, ‘’oh well..’’ He just knows there is no stopping me yet! ‘’Ah, but side projects _do_ exist Remi darling.’’ Oh I’ll show Lily!

After dinner we all go down to the dungeons to pick up Peter before heading up to the common room where we sit down in our favourite corner by the big fireplace. I just finished posting Peter and Remus about our progress on the spell when Hermione enters the room looking positively exhausted. She meets my eyes for a moment to grimace tiredly and I nearly rise to ask her something when a yell echoes through the common room.

‘’HERMIONEE!!!’’

Followed by Marlene thundering down the stairs and crashing right into Hermione so fast the two stumble backwards and make me laugh at the sight. She continues to chat Hermione’s ears off and I turn my attention back on my friends.

‘’So all we need to do now is attach these two spells?’’ Sirius asks, looking over the notes with a frown. Nodding I point at the formulas in question, ‘’yes. I thought I had it but I think something went wrong.’’ Nodding he grimaces before picking up the quill and starting to scratch things down himself next to what Remus and I had already created.

Grimacing I look back up, unconsciously searching my bushy haired friend out. There she it, sitting on the couch in front of a different fire place with a blank expression whilst Marlene is telling her something with dramatic hand movements. Yawning she suddenly holds her hands up, mumbling something before moving past Marlene, whom frowns in surprise before gaining a worried expression.

Not waiting a second before jumping up and following Hermione to the stairway, reaching her hand out to stop her right before going up. They’re close enough now for me to hear Marlene’s soft voice, ‘’Hermione are you okay?’’ I’ve been wondering the same thing lately. ‘’Of course! I’m just tired, that’s all’’ Hermione answers with an easy grin I can see is obviously fake. ‘’Just things on my mind, you know? Don’t worry about it.’’ But Marlene doesn’t look all that ‘not worried’ about it at all.

She’s about to reply but Hermione is already walking up the stairs so she curses before following her again. This time disappearing out of sight _and_ sound. Why is Hermione so tired? Does it have to do with Dumbledore? The note maybe?

**Hermione POV **  
I wake up with an already tired feeling, staring at the top of my bed with a blank expression I try to gather enough energy to get up. At least the shower looks appealing. Rising I step into the shower but for the first time in ages I don’t really have any shower thoughts. I just… stare… Finally I get out of the shower to get dressed and brush my teeth.

By the time I arrive down stairs and settle down in front of the fire I still haven’t been able to think about anything, not even a simple thought crosses my mind. The fire is suddenly _fascinating_ though. Ugh why am I so damn tired?

Sure, yesterday was exhausting and I was already dead tired from pretty much not sleeping the entire week but still. I’ve handled a lot worse a lot better.

Glancing around the common room I frown, it’s Friday morning and though it _is_ early, usually there’s at least someone around the tower. Honestly the room is a little creepy when there’s no one shouting or laughing in the back ground. Quickly I get up and leave the common room to wander around through the castle until I reach the gates and find myself strolling outside to the lake. The weather is wonderful today, usually during this time a year the weather is busy drowning the country. Though trust me, the previous days it tried _really_ hard to achieve this.

Now this is a nice spot. Flopping down on the grass I curse when the wetness of the morning dew seeps through my skirt. Great. A quick spell or two later I roll my shoulders and cross my legs. Resting my hands on my knees I take a deep breath, alright. I can do this.

I wonder through the golden strands inside my mind mindlessly, not really knowing what I’m looking for when I find the one strand that stands out. Lestrange’s life. Touching it I let myself be dragged into the strange unclear visions of Lestrange’s life again. I watch the same memories so many times it frustrates me, why can’t I see any face clear but Rabastan’s?! It just doesn’t make any sense.

And even now that I know who the men are, why can’t I see their faces clear still?! Pausing the memory I study the boy I know is Tom Riddle, his features aren’t for my eyes but I can see neatly styled jet black hair. And he’s tall. Maybe even handsome, but… I can’t _see_. I can’t even do anything with this information but acknowledging he looks nothing like the horrible vessel of magic he’ll become. Sighing I allow the memories to continue, I try to focus on the other men. Forcing them to become clearer but I could not. Nobody _but_ Rabastan. His face I could see even clearer than his father’s. Why? He’s just a boy in my year, I’ve seen him around before and there’s nothing about him that stands out. So why can I see him clearer?

Going out of the memories I look out over the lake with a huff, things just aren’t make sense!

‘’Hermione?’’

Looking to my left I offer a smile, ‘’hey guys.’’ I’m blessed with the company of all four Marauders as they settle down next to me with all equally excited grins. So they must be up to something. ‘’Hey! What are you doing here?’’ James asks and I shrug, hell if I know. ‘’Enjoying the weather’’ I decide. Glancing at him I grin, bumping my shoulder to his ‘’that’s okay right?’’ I ask, please dear Merlin give me some distraction.

James chuckles before answering with a nod and a shoulder bump back. ‘’Now why are four boys like you out here at this time of day? School won’t start for another couple of hours with the free period and all.’’ ‘’We wanted to clear our minds’’ James answers with a grimace. ‘’And how come so?’’ I ask amused, seeing his truthfully annoyed expression.

‘’Well..’’ Sirius starts, trailing off when he apparently thinks the better. Eyeing them I start laughing, of course! ‘’Oh dear Merlin who is the poor soul? Do I want to know?’’ I ask laughing. They all flush before shrugging with cheeky grins, cute how they all get the exact same expression when talking about something they know they’re not supposed to do. ‘’The Slytherins’’ James is the one that finally answers.

Oh is that so? Raising my eyebrows I uncross my legs and lean back on the grass. Might as well actually enjoy the sun as well as enjoying this lovely distraction. ‘’So what’s the plan?’’ I ask, closing my eyes.

This simple question draws James in a long explanation of a spell they’ve been trying to create by combining multiple others. He’s explaining how they had connected the reverse spell to the timer already and they even got the two jinxes together, but they somehow couldn’t get the time spells to join the jinxes, the physical spell only an easy step to be added once they’d gotten the other four spells combined, but they just can’t get it to work.

James is getting very worked up about all of it, which really is rather amusing if you ask me.

Getting their notes from Remus I start flipping through them lazily, ignoring James’s and Sirius’s eyes that are both firmly trained on me. ‘’Hmm..’’ I mumble, looking over the formulas I nod. They’re extremely clever boys, this is only more proof for that. But they don’t have the experience I already have with the class. ‘’Have you tried it completely different?’’ I ask, glancing up at them.

‘’It’s easy to get caught up in getting one thing right so you want to let it stay that way. But both the Timer and the Reverse spell have open links that you’ve now both used to connect to each other. But I reckon you only really need one, for example, the link in the Timer spell? Use that one to link it to the Reverse spell and then use the link you have left from the Reverse to link the chain to the jinxes.’’

Writing the different formula down I point at the different link points of the magic.

‘’You’re brilliant!’’ James exclaims, taking the parchment with wide eyes. Oh darling I know. Oh shit. I’ve been hanging around Marlene for too long. ‘’And now adding the physical spell should be easy because there’s still space in the x!’’ James continues oblivious to my realization.

Grinning I nod, ‘’now show me what this horrible spell can do!’’ I joke, placing a leaf in front of them. James and Sirius smirk before Sirius lifts his wand and mutters the incantation whilst weaving a difficult pattern in the air with his wand. A dark brown light shimmers over the leaf briefly and I raise my eyebrows when they all collectively turn to me. ‘’Yea you realize I’m not touching that right? I know what that turns into, no way in hell.’’ I laugh, moving out of reach of the leaf.

Sirius bursting out laughing before reaching out himself, ‘’I’ll do it!’’ He exclaims, touching the leaf before we can reply. We all watch with wide eyes how shimmers brown again before it morphs into a pile of ugly brown worms, a stench coming off them that made me inch away further. ‘’Ew’’ I state, ‘’but definitely cool’’ I had to add with a chuckle. We continue to watch the worms in part interest and part disgust until five minutes had passed and the worms change back into the leaf.

‘’Cool, it works!’’ I exclaim, clapping my hands together. ‘’All thanks to you!!’’ Sirius answers, James letting out a annoyed hey! Before grinning too and nodding, ‘’thanks Hermione!’’ Jumping up the four run off in excitement chatter, off which I can only understand something about all needing to practice and a changed password?

Rolling my eyes again I chuckle and turn my eyes back to the lake. ‘’Well the weather truly is lovely isn’t it?’’ I say softly, closing my eyes I allow the sun to warm my body and sooth me into falling into a light slumber.

‘’HERMIONE WHAT EVER YOUR MIDDLE NAME IS MCGONAGALL’’ What the _fuck_?!?!?!? Jumping up I round on Marlene with my point jabbing in her chest with wide eyes. Fucks sake!!! ‘’Fucking hell you scared me!’’ ‘’Woah there tiger, lower that thing please?’’ Sighing I lower my wand and sit back down, ‘’why the hell did you do that?’’ I grumble, _not_ funny. ‘’Because I thought it would be funny’’ she answers calmly, ugh. ‘’And we have class in a bit, you completely missed breakfast you know?’’

What? Looking up at the sun I frown, ‘’what time is it?’’ ‘’It’s time for Transfiguration, that’s what. Anyway I need to talk to you about something!’’ Raising my eyebrows I turn to her whilst rising from the ground, at least with my back that is. ‘’What can I help you with?’’ ‘’I’m having real issues with Lily bloody Evans okay!?’’ ‘’Why? What’d she do?’’ Did I miss something? I thought Marlene liked her again?

Rolling her eyes Marlene shrugs, ‘’nothing really. I just don’t sodding like her. Alright? I mean, I thought she was alright and all when she put James on his place like that. But he’s our friend again and he’s still you know… my pal from diaper time…? And she’s _still_ treating him like the dirt on the bottom of her shoes!’’ Throwing her hands in the air she huffs, ‘’and really as if that _wasn’t_ enough, which really already would be. She’s still being an absolute bitch when Snape comes near us! Like, what is even up with that!?’’

Well… grimacing I let her pull me up from the ground before answering. ‘’Well I mean, you could try and have a heart to heart with her maybe? Maybe she doesn’t even realize she’s doing it and you can try and inform her… nicely…’’ ‘’Do you really think she doesn’t realize?! That makes no fucking sense!!’’

Following her into the castle I shrug, ‘’how should she know then? I for sure haven’t told her yet, nor do I think Alice or Snape have.’’ ‘’The boys have!’’ ‘’And you honestly think she listens to them?’’ Frowning Marlene falls silent before huffing, ‘’no… but still! A bitch knows she’s being a bitch right?’’

We walk over to our usual table before I shrug, ‘’do they?’’ ‘’Well you know what?! I’m going to tell her!’’ Taking my books out I nod, ‘’you do that, _nicely_.’’ ‘’I’m always nice, how can you even say that?’’ ‘’Marlene you are never fucking nice to Lily.’’ ‘’You know what? I’m so incredibly proud of the fact that you now use the verb fucking on the daily.’’

Glaring at her I chuckle, ‘’you have a bad fucking influence on me.’’ ‘’And I’m even more proud of the fact we can discuss these things openly and freely without getting all worked up.’’ ‘’Oh sod off will you?’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All Rowling's


	12. Not every secret should be kept.

‘’Good morning class,’’ Minerva exclaims, clapping her hands together resolutely, ‘’today we’re going to be transforming beetles, into buttons. I already have given you all a box of beetles and I do expect you not to touch them before we start practicing, nor would I like to see anyone mess with them or lose them in any way.’’ Her eyes flicker over to the marauders in the back and I hide a laugh when I see them all smile back innocently. The moment Minerva turns back to the board James and Sirius don’t waste a second before grabbing the box resting on their table.

Watching them try in vain to open the box is about five minutes of good entertainment before I turn back to pay attention, honestly I’m not sure I even know why I’m here. This is still such basic Transfiguration that I could do it silently and probably wandlessly. Oh… Wait a minute, that might actually be a good challenge for me to practice.

Completely tuning Minerva’s explaining of the formula out I start scribbling down the basic rules I know about wandless magic. Honestly, it’s surprisingly little. I looked into it a bit in fifth year for DA but it’s so different for everyone there’s barely any information on the subject either way. Some need to touch the subject they want to transform whereas others need to only mutter the incantation and it’ll just happen to whatever they focus on. I guess I can try just focusing on the spell, like I do when I do it with a wand. That should work right?

I have to wait until the first half of the lesson has passed before Minerva finally cancels the charm she had placed on the beetle boxes. To which Marlene and I quickly turn around to watch in high amusement how both James and Sirius are covered with beetles within the second. Neither seem to bothered about it but Remus and Peter especially don’t look as pleased with their predicament. For somehow most of the beetles that had burst out of the box had flown forwards and landed on them. I had no idea Peter had such a thing for beetles!

‘’Merlin they really _can_ be so stupid at times’’ Marlene mutters from my left, I stifle my laugh and can only nod whilst turning to our own box. Having seen how full the boxes are from the boys’ fail we open it slowly and gently, taking only a few out I place them on the table in front of me. Luckily for us they don’t try to walk away and stay put without any struggles.

First I point my finger to the beetles but that feels so unnatural I quickly drop my hand. Instead clasping it together with the other one on top of the table, narrowing my eyes on the beetles and taking a deep breath.

Focus.

In my mind I see then turn into buttons perfectly, a smooth transformation. Taking a deep breath I focus on the incantation, _Cimuntatullae_. The thought rings in my head clearly and I drag my walls down for a split second to stretch my magic out over the beetles, it’s working!! Staying focused on the spell I watch the beetles change into tiny black buttons before pushing my walls back up and looking at Marlene with an excited grin. I actually did it!! It actually worked! It freaking shouldn’t be possible!

‘’Holy fuck did you feel that?’’ Marlene hisses at me, glancing at her I raise my eyebrows, what? ‘’Did I feel what?’’ I ask. Marlene’s looking around the classroom with wide nervous eyes and following her movements my own eyes widen as well, all the students are looking around with wide nervous eyes. Murmuring to the people next to them in hushes whispers.

What the hell happened?

But I don’t get a chance to ask for the door of the classroom swoops open and Albus steps in with an almost nervous expression on his face. But Albus is never nervous so I must be mistaken. He glances at me for a second before turning to Minerva, ‘’Minerva, could I have word please?’’ His voice sounds strained and I’m almost a 100% certain something is definitely bothering him. Yes, I have indeed spend so much time with him over the past year I can actually tell when something’s bother him. How pathetic is that?!

The moment the door falls shut behind them the whole class breaks out in excited chatter, ‘’do you think it has to do with what just happened?!’’ Marlene asks me, her eyes still wide. ‘’What even happened?’’ I ask in return, glancing at her nervously. ‘’Didn’t you feel it?!’’ She gasps, ‘’it was insane, like-‘’ the door opens again and she falls silent immediately, no doubt curious what Minerva will say.

‘’Class is cancelled today, practice this before next lesson for we will continue then. I expect a two foot essay on the formula and spell work behind this spell to be on my desk Monday as well. You’re dismissed.’’ She states calmly, meeting my eyes she shakes her head ever so slightly at me, so I wait, all the students excitedly running out.

‘’You coming Hermione!?’’ Marlene exclaims, turning to me with a grin, ‘’might go to Hagrid for a visit, haven’t seen him yet you know’’ she offers, but I shake my head, ‘’you go ahead, I’m going to talk with my mum for a bit’’ I mumble.

Marlene doesn’t question it and I turn back to Minerva, to my surprise she doesn’t say anything for a moment, obviously waiting for something. For what becoming clear a few moments later when Albus enters the room with a grave expression. What the hell happened?

**James POV At the start of class. **  
Sitting down in my usual seat in the back of the class I pretty much ignore Sirius whom is still talking about the spell we figured out this morning, with Hermione’s help of course. Glancing at said witch I chuckle when I see her shake her head at Marlene, whom is once again chatting her ears off.

‘’Good morning class,’’ Minnie exclaims, clapping her hands together resolutely, ‘’today we’re going to be transforming beetles, into buttons. I already have given you all a box of beetles and I do expect you not to touch them before we start practicing, nor would I like to see anyone mess with them or lose them in any way.’’ Her eyes flicker over to us during the last warning and I smile sweetly at her, Sirius mirroring my actions before we both smirk at the box that’s standing on our table. Sirius grabs it first and tries to pull the lit off in vain, ‘’why the hell won’t it open’’ he hisses at me. ‘’Give it to me’’ I reply, pulling it to me I try myself. ‘’She probably locked it’’ Sirius mutters. ‘’_Alohomora_’’ I hiss, tapping it with my wand. Why won’t it work?!

‘’What the hell did she do with it?’’ I exclaim softly. We spend the good first half of the class listening to Minnie explain the incantation and the formulas behind the spell whilst attempting different ways to open the blasted box. But at last, we can start practicing.

Taking off the lid of the beetles excitedly Sirius and I both jump back in surprise when the beetles start streaming out. Damn that box is full.. ooooh shit… by pulling the lid of so enthusiastically we jolt the box up in our surprise and all the beetles fly through the fucking air. Mostly through the people sitting in front of us who just _happen_ to be Remus and Peter, so we’re dead.

We quickly get rid of the spare beetle still on us before watching Peter with wide eyes, he’s moving around nervously. ‘’You don’t get it James!!’’ He exclaims when he sees me laughing, ‘’THEY’RE EVERYWHERE’’ He screams not second later, jumping up from his chair with a high pitched shriek. Now that high demand comedy.

Laughing I take my wand out to start practicing.

‘’So have you heard?’’ Sirius suddenly asks, rubbing his hands together nervously. Glancing at him I frown, ‘’what?’’ But before he can reply a sudden rush of magic makes it hard to even breathe, let alone talk. It settles over us like a warm blanket and everyone silences, looking around with wide eyes, the magic that’s in the air is tingling and Merlin I could swear I recognize it!

Swallowing thickly I glance at Sirius, whom is looking around with equally curious eyes, his mouth slightly agape before he closes it quickly, and then, just as sudden as it had arrived it’s gone.

Everyone breaks out in rushed chatter and I glance at Minnie before looking at Hermione and Marlene for a moment, Hermione’s looking around with a confused face whilst Marlene is muttering softly to her. It doesn’t look like Hermione’s hearing it though, not that that’s so odd from the two girls.

**Hermione POV**   
Swallowing thickly I cross my legs, ‘’a magical wave?’’ I ask, I reckon I sound quite sarcastic, but what are they even talking about anyway?

‘’You’re trying to tell me _I_ send out a magical _wave_?’’ Chuckling I shake my head, ‘’if there was a magical ‘wave’ it wasn’t me. Trust me, I just cast a spell wandlessly, and slightly as well might I add. There’s no way I send out a magical wave, if I had I would’ve felt the magic leave my body’’ I huff, crossing my arms and leaning back. Albus doesn’t look like he’s believing me but come on, there’s no way!

Starting to pace he frowns, ‘’listen Hermione. There was magical wave rolling over the entire castle like a blanket. I could actually feel it stretch over me. To others it had probably felt like it appeared out of nowhere but I _felt_ it roll out and back in withing milliseconds. Now I do not believe it was a magical wave either, that would’ve indeed left your body feeling exhausted. But you send you magic out to do the spell no?’’ 

Well yes, but that has nothing to do with a magical wave does it? ‘’I guess so, I only send my magic to the beetles though. I felt it stretch just over the beetles to do the spell before pulling it pack and putting my walls back up. And it doesn’t, nor did it back then, feel like anything has changed in my energy source.’’ Meeting Albus’s annoyingly twinkling eyes I shake my head, ‘’it’s absurd though. Over the _entire_ castle?’’

‘’Yes, I felt it all the way in my office and got reports from all my teachers in minutes, even Hagrid send me a message of having felt it all the way in the forbidden forest.’’

Well shite…

Biting my lip I shrug, ‘’what do you propose I do then? I need to practice my magic Albus, and clearly I can’t do that without messing up a few times…’’ He grimaces at my words before nodding, such a reassurance. ‘’I know someone, he can tutor you and I can assure you he’s a great teacher.’’ Glancing at Minerva he nods, ‘’he’ll meet you on Saturday morning at 9 after breakfast in my office and take you to a safe place to practice.’’ He tells us, and I’m not sure what to think. But I do suppose if there was anyone _he’d _be the one to have contacts for things like this. Nodding I shrug, ‘’very well’’ I mumble.

So that would bring me here a day later. At 9 o’clock in the morning in the Headmaster’s office whilst he himself isn’t even present. So… I’m left to my own devises… Looking around I study the strange ornaments and buzzing objects lining the walls when my eyes fall on a old hat resting on a head stand on the top shelve. Frowning I walk over to it, he did tell me we should talk some day because he could help me get answers.

I’m about to reach for it when the fireplace behind me lights up green, making me turn around swiftly. Training my wand on the man that steps out my body freezes in surprise, I know him.

‘’Aberforth’’ I say before I can really think it through. Aberforth Dumbledore. Albus’s brother. Is he the tutor? I didn’t think Albus held him in such high regards to say he’s a great teacher? From what I heard from Harry about their relationship that is.

Meeting his blue eyes I feel my seer magic flare up, I’m able to push it down though and stretch my hand out to him. ‘’Hermione McGonagall’’ I greet. ‘’Aberforth, but it seems ye already knew tha’ huh’’ he mutters, regarding me with narrowed eyes he does eventually shake my hand. Would’ve been awkward if he hadn’t for sure. ‘’I know a lot of things’’ I reply, glaring slightly at the tone he used on me.

‘’So, ye’re the student tha’ needs extra training are ye?’’ He says gruffly, not fazed at all ‘’too big off a core an’ all, though enough control to be a’ Animagus? Somethin’ isn’ right there.’’ Probably not no… Grimacing I shrug, ‘’yes well, I do believe you’re correct in believing that. But you know, I also do believe that’s why you’re here, no? To fix me all up?’’ Oh, I do think I’ve been hanging around the marauders and Marlene entirely too often. 

‘’Well Albus had to run to a meetin’ so we best be going’’ he sighs, stepping back in the flames, ‘’come on then girl.’’ He growls when I don’t move in the slightest, I only jump slightly before stepping in next to him. He drops the grey powder with a sigh and mutters the location of Hogshead so softly I’m not a 100% sure the fireplace could hear it.

But we step out of the fireplace into Hogshead without any problems so the fireplace must be used to him. Looking around curiously I glance at Ariana’s painting, last time I was here was right before the battle of Hogwarts. I can honestly tell you that he’s not going to change a single thing in the coming years. And chances are he probably won’t ever clean either…

‘’Well come on, I’ll apparate us to the spot’’ he sighs, holding his arm out. I take it carefully, ‘’where are we going?’’ I ask, but he doesn’t reply, only Apparating away without a word. I can tell you without a doubt that Apparating is still the most useful way to travel yet, but feeling like you’re being pulled through a straw isn’t all that pleasant and really needs to be fixed.

Opening my eyes after swallowing a few times I take in the view in surprise. We’re on a _mountain_. A field on a mountain that’s surrounded by more mountains. Of which most are filled with trees, grass and beautiful little streams of water waving through them. It looks like I’m at the set of Sound of Music to be honest.

‘’Alright, Albus tol’ me that yet magic seem’ to stretch too far once ye try wandless magic?’’ Aberforth really more states than asks but still I nod. ‘’Alright, let’s focus on that. Transfigure tha’ stone into somethin’ else.’’ Raising my eyebrows I glance at the stone, alright then. I can totally do this, I can.

Focusing on the stone I breathe in deeply, one, two, three.. Dragging my walls down I allow my magic to stretch forwards, rolling over the grass until reaching the stone where I start to concentrate on the incantation. _Avivors_. Watching the stone turn into about five birds I grin before pulling my walls back up and affectively cutting my magic off again.

I’d say that went pretty well! ‘’Well?’’ I exclaim with a grin, turning to Aberforth who’s watching me with an unreadable expression. ‘’That was…’’ he stays silent for a moment before swallowing, ‘’tell me yer exact thought process as ye did that.’’ Okay… ‘’Uhm first I calmed my breathing, centring myself like when I meditate? So I’m able to focus on the stone without distractions. Then I break it down in my head, like I would any spell. Uhm… after that I lower my walls and-‘’ ‘’Walls?’’ Seeing his expression I nod, ‘’yes. I have them surrounding my magic to keep my seer magic at bay, though the consequence is that it also cuts off my connection to my normal magic.’’

Frowning I completely turn to him, ‘’didn’t Albus tell you? He’s the one that suggested it to me in the first place.’’ Grimacing Aberforth shakes his head, ‘’my brother tells me very little.’’ He replies icily, staring into the distance for a moment before turning to me.

‘’So ye’re a seer then? And why do ye need a wall around the magic?’’ ‘’My seer magic activates involuntarily whenever I look into someone’s eyes, when I don’t I can control it perfectly fine. Sort of. I’m getting there anyway. I can see via touch, pictures or just seeing them in general. But looking into someone’s eyes without walls my magic get’s triggered into giving me all the information possible about their first coming decision. And I know that doesn’t sound so bad, but it can be terribly confusing at times as well as it makes my eyes glow?’’ Grimacing I shrug, ‘’the thing is though, my seer magic has wrapped itself around my magical core. So I can’t get to it without passing through it’’ gazing at the grass I’m unwilling to meet Aberforth’s eyes, he probably won’t get it anyways.

‘’That actually makes sort of sense, but have ye tried gettin’ them separate?’’ Raising my eyes to meet his I shake my head, what? ‘’I mean, yer cores, can ye separate them? Push yet seer magic to the side and only put a wall aroun’ that.’’ Frowning I shake my head, is that even possible? ‘’How do you propose I do that? _Take_ every single strand and just… what? Move it?’’

Raising his eyebrows Aberforth shakes his head, ‘’strand?’’ ‘’Yes. My seer magic isn’t exactly a bubble like my core, it’s just a thousand or so strands of people I’ve met that move around my core. Every strand represents an entire lifetime, accessible for me to see.’’ ‘’Ye could go home right now an’ see my future?’’ He asks, clearly perplexed by the idea. But yea. ‘’I could, yes. I could see your past, present and future without much effort honestly. But I’ve never watched a strand of someone I know though, and I’m not planning on starting on it now.’’

Staring at me he shakes his head in surprise, ‘’damn’’ he mutters, ‘’my brother must be so pleased to have you.’’ Raising my eyebrows I keep my mouth shut, he doesn’t even know the half of it. ‘’Well you best be starting with meditatin’ then. Put some of those strands you were talkin’ about into a separate wall, because I think that the reason yer magic stretches so far and isn’t in yer control is because ye’re not _used_ to controllin’ it any more. The constant presence of yer magic.’’ Blanching at him I shake my head, ‘’that’s impossible! How can I possibly not be used to my own magic?!’’ ‘’Because how long has it been locked hmm? I reckon a year? Migh’ be more. And a year is a long time girl’’ he replies gruffly.

What?! Is that even possible?! For a witch to get unused to the constant presence of her own magic?!

‘’Now, lower yer walls and don’t ye dare look me in the eye’’ he orders me, turning away slightly. ‘’Alright’’ I mutter with a sigh. Listening to his order I lower the walls around my magic easily, relishing in the seconds of relief of feeling my magic roll out and rush through my body. Smiling contently I nod, this feels a _lot_ better, my magic in every cell of me where it belongs.

‘’Jeesh’’ Aberforth mutters, taking a deep breath. ‘’What?’’ I ask, turning to him. Though focusing on his beard rather than his eyes. ‘’Ye don’ even feel it do ye?’’ He asks, his voice portraying awe. ‘’Feel what?’’ I ask perplexed, am I to feel anything?! Besides utter bliss of course.

Chuckling Aberforth shakes his head, ‘’it’s everywhere, yer magic. I can feel it wrappin’ around me.’’ Frowning I shake my head with a laugh, it’s getting harder and harder to not look him in the eyes. ‘’You’re trying to tell me that my magic isn’t in my body?’’ I ask, because it sure as hell is.

‘’Oh no it definitely is, but it is also definitely outside of it.’’ ‘’But…’’ feeling my magic rush through my body I frown, ‘’it feels like it’s just in my body’’ I mutter. Genuinely getting annoyed looking at his beard though so lets look at the amazing view instead. ‘’How far do you reckon it’s going?’’ I ask.

Aberforth huffs before answering, ‘’dunno. Why don’t ye try an’ feel it?’’ Grimacing I glance at his feet, ‘’how the hell am I supposed to do that?’’ I thought he was supposed to help me?

‘’Try an’ feel the trees?’’ He offers, ‘’see how far ye can feel the earth under ye feet.’’ Nodding I look around me to spot a tree a little ways down. I don’t even have to stretch my magic out as I can instantly feel the tree under my grasp, filled with energy. So I suppose it stretches further then…

Focusing on the ground instead I slowly move my eyes over it, moving further and further, feeling the tingling of my magic being ready to use at all times, until finally. ‘’There’’ I whisper, and right at the edge of my magic I rise a stone pillar from the ground. ‘’That’s the edge of what I can feel right now’’ I whisper, my magic is slightly moving around the pillar, but I can feel it being strained.

Aberforth whistles, ‘’how big did ye say yer core is again?’’ ‘’I didn’t’’ I reply coldly, staring at the pillar. ‘’Alright, rise the same pillar about twenty meters before the other one’’ Aberforth instructs, truly it’s surprising how easily I, or rather my magic, complies. I don’t even need to focus, it just happens… ‘’Well done, now, pull yer magic back to that point, force it to not pass it.’’

Grimacing I nod, pulling at my magic. Merlin I can’t put into words how draining this is. Chewing on my lip I tug at my magic, forcing it to stop right before the closer pillar. ‘’Is it working?’’ Aberforth asks, and I whimper slightly, ‘’it’s draining’’ I mutter hoarsely, ‘’but I think it is.’’ I barely register Aberforth nodding before a crack makes me jump and lose all my focus. Which means my magic stretches right back out again immediately.

‘’Do it again, I’ll tell ye if it works’’ Aberforth’s booming voice echoes through the valley, he must’ve cast a sonorous charm. Sighing I cast the same charm on my own throat before trying again.

We spend our stretching and pulling at my magic and I can’t explain how incredibly draining it is. I can’t barely even stand on my own to legs when we step into Albus’s office from the fire. But I do feel like it helped, after many an hour I could finally keep my magic to stop from stretching further than the closer pillar without much effort. Now though it’s back behind walls, because the closer pillar still wasn’t all that close…

‘’Promise me that ye’ll start on seperatin’ yer cores. They’re separate things, don’t mix em up’’ Aberforth orders me when I turn to him to say goodbye. ‘’I promise.’’ Glancing at the empty room I gasp when I spot the clock. Shit. Shit. Shit. I knew many hours had passed but fucking hell I didn’t exactly know how many!! Fuuuuck.

Groaning, I pull my broom out of my pocket, enlarging I shake my head to Aberforth. ‘’I’m _so_ sorry Aberforth, but I need to leave right now!’’ I exclaim whilst already running to the window, ‘’you’ll help me again next week though?!’’ I ask, climbing into it. ‘’Very well, my curiosity has sufficiently been peeked te return next week’’ he replies gruffly, but I don’t get to tell him anything for reply for I’m already jumping out of the window, only able to offer him a grin before falling down, settling on the broom and flying away.

Thank Merlin Marlene decided it was ridiculous I couldn’t fly and forced me to spend pretty much my entire time at her house in her garden flying around on her brother’s broom. I’d gotten the hang of it after _long_ hours and though I still don’t love it nearly as much as I knew Harry had loved it, I do understand the appeal a little better. Still though… I wouldn’t dare for the life of me to actually let a hand, _any hand_, go!!

**James POV **   
‘’Why isn’t she here?!’’ I exclaim, rounding on Marlene accusingly, ‘’why are you here, and she isn’t?!?’’ ‘’Jeesh way to make a girl feel welcome’’ she replies sarcastically before glancing around with a sigh, ‘’can’t tell you though, she disappeared this morning to-‘’ Eyeing me she scoffs, ‘’never mind. She promised she’d be here right?’’ ‘’Yes!!’’ ‘’Well we’re talking about Hermione here, she’s a bloody saint! Some sort of greater power would have to be in play for her to break a promise! _Especially_ to you’’ she exclaims, muttering the last part so softly I almost miss it.

Shaking my head I turn to look around again, ‘’well then why the hell isn’t she here yet?’’ We’re standing on the Quidditch pitch with Sirius a little behind me with Remus and Peter for support. Behind them there’s a big group of students that I’d have to compete with for a spot on the team, Merlin I’m a fucking wreck and Hermione isn’t even here!!

Hell, I’m not even sure why it matters so much, but she promised damn it!

Turning back to the open field between the pitch and the castle I frown, come on, come on, come on, come on… what the hell is that?

A black spot’s moving over the grass in such a speed I had to double check it wasn’t just the light tricking my eyes. The closer it gets though, the more a shape it gets as well. First it becomes longer, then I realise it’s someone on a broomstick. Finally I recognize the curly hair of the very person I’m waiting for.

Thank Merlin’s fluffy horse she’s here.

She’s not stopping though.

Why is she not stopping?! What is she yelling?

‘’HELP ME!!!’’ ‘’Shite’’ Marlene hisses, ‘’PULL THE BROOM TOWARDS YOU!’’ ‘’WON’T IT GO UP?!?!’’ ‘’NO!!! PRESS YOUR FEET DOWN HERMIONE!’’ Turning to me Marlene throws her hands up in the air with a scowl, ‘’use that damn broom will ye!??! Help her!!’’ Fuck!! Jumping up I nod quickly, of course!! Mounting my broom I race towards Hermione, reaching over I grab the handle of her broom and drag it towards me so we both skit to a halt right in front of Marlene. Who hadn’t moved an inch.

‘’Fucking hell’’ Hermione breathes, getting off she takes a deep shaky breath before rounding on Marlene, ‘’you told me I could fly!!’’ She hisses, pointing at her accusingly, ‘’and as you just witnessed, I can clearly _not_ do that!!’’ ‘’Nah you can fly just fine, you just haven’t quite grasped stopping yet’’ Marlene mutters weakly before grinning, ‘’that was totally epic though, how fast do you think you went?!’’ Scoffing Hermione shakes her head before turning to me, ‘’I didn’t miss it yet did I?’’ She asks, looking over my shoulder with a worried look. 

Life seems to return to my body at that very moment and I jump up with a big grin, pulling her in an excited hug. ‘’Thank fucking Merlin you’re here, no you didn’t miss it yet, you scared the crap out of me though!! I didn’t even know you had a broom, which one is it?’’ I ramble, shaking my head at her.

Pulling back she laughs, ‘’well sorry about scaring you, but thank the lord I didn’t miss it! And yes, I know, the moment my mum got wind of Marlene teaching me how to fly she got me my own broom.’’ Grimacing she glances at the flying device in her hands, ‘’I don’t really know which one it is though…’’ How doesn’t she know what kind of broom she has?!?!

‘’LISTEN UP EVERYBODY!!’’ ‘’Oh it’s starting, good luck!’’ Hermione exclaims, allowing Marlene to grab her arm and drag her away to the stands with a laugh. ‘’Thanks’’ I manage to exclaim, grinning wildly before turning to the group with nerves going back into over drive. Stepping next to Sirius I take a deep breath. ‘’She made it then?’’ he asks with a smirk, glancing at him I nod happily.

Throwing a quick look at the stands I grin even bigger when I see her settling down on the benches with Marlene, Remus, Peter and Alice. Giving me the thumbs up Hermione nods at the captain, clearly indicating I should listen.

‘’Yea’’ I nod, ‘’she made it.’’ Thank Merlin.

‘’ALRGHT, I NEED YOU ALL TO FILL IN THIS FORM, COME ON, DO IT QUICKLY NOW!!’’

**Hermione POV **  
Quidditch has not changed to bring me any less stress than it used to, I swear to Merlin. I mean, here I am, for Sirius and James’s try-outs, and holy shite I might be even more nervous than I was when Ron tried out because at least he wasn’t freaking twelve!! It’s honestly a good thing Harry never had to try-out, it would’ve been _nerve wrecking_.

‘’So where were you?’’ Marlene suddenly speaks up. Glancing at her I shrug weakly, ‘’with my mum?’’ I more ask than answer. ‘’That’s a lie Hermione, I actually saw her about two hours ago for lunch!’’ Marlene exclaims, turning to me with a frown she shakes her head, ‘’you’re my best friend Hermione.’’ My eyes widening I turn to her as well, ‘’I know that Marlene! You _know_ you’re mine too!’’ ‘’Am I really?’’ Marlene scoffs, ‘’I told you my biggest secret Hermione. My most _important_ secret, because I trust you. But I feel like you haven’t told me anything about yourself besides you know what!’’ Glancing at the boys behind me she grimaces. ‘’I feel like I trust you, and yet you don’t trust me.’’ ‘’I do trust you.’’ ‘’Do you? Because I did some research Hermione and it shouldn’t be possible what you are. No matter how brilliant! And all these meeting you keep having? I don’t buy it, there’s no way he’s so interested in you because you’re McGonagalls daughter!’’

Swallowing I grimace, flickering my eyes to the pitch before meeting Marlene’s eyes again. ‘’I…’’ what the hell can I say!? I _want_ to tell her, Christ it’s been on the tip of my tongue for weeks now. But I can’t. I can’t, can I? ‘’I want to tell you Marlene.. I do I just…’’ How hypocrite am I? She _had_ told me her biggest secret and that must’ve taken her major guts… 

_‘’Hermione?’’ Looking up I smile at Marlene’s face poking through the curtains of my bed, she doesn’t look so smiley though. Jumping free from my meditating position I frown, ‘’what’s wrong?’’ She’s _crying_?!?! ‘’Hey?’’ I whisper, rubbing her back when she crawls into the bed to sit down next to me. ‘’What’s the matter?’’ ‘’I got my period.’’ She eventually whispers, her voice croaking slightly. What? Studying her face I frown, ‘’really? That _does_ suck, but it’s not so bad once you get used to it.’’ Grimacing I shrug, leaning my head onto hers with a small smile, ‘’I mean, the mood swings are horrible and don’t even get me started on the emotional crying day the day _before_ you get your period… or the absolute need to eat greasy things, but…’’ ‘’no.. no that’s not what I’m upset about’’ Marlene mutters, chuckling softly. ‘’Though that doesn’t sound all that brilliant either.’’ Laughing I can only agree before turning to face her. _

_‘’So what is it then?’’ I whisper, tucking her hair behind her face with a small smile. Crossing her legs she grimaces before taking a deep shaky breath, ‘’I’m a Veela.’’ This is something I’m actually already aware of though, she told me that the first night I met her. It takes her a moment to continue but finally she nods, ‘’at least.. my grandmother is one. But there’s this curse on the Veela blood line. Centuries ago Veelas started mating with wizards and muggles, but before that time Veelas were a pure female race. The only species known at the time that could mate with other woman and get pregnant.’’ Grimacing she shrugs, ‘’and they were proud of that fact. So when some Veelas started ‘mating’ with men… they got pissed, to say the least. The elder Veelas most of all didn’t want to see the Veela bloodline fade away into half bloods and the child of a half blood had such weak Veela blood they’d already see them as normal humans. But it was happening, the Veela blood line was dying out because it wasn’t dominant. And so, the elders at the time cast a curse that would prevent this from happening, a curse I’m living the consequences from.’’ Shuddering she bites her lip, ‘’the elders got together and got the youngest daughter of the youngest elder pregnant with a male wizard. They cast the curse whilst she was still pregnant until the babe was born, she would be born a girl and she would be a full blooded Veela. The goal was to make every half blood Veela from then on to too become a full blood again. But Veelas are not witches at nature, and this daughter was _not_ the first child of the Veela. Nor was there ever another child because the Veela did not want to subject another child to her _tainted_ womb.’’ I frown, could it be… ‘’So the curse only effects second born children’’ I mumble, realization dawning._

_Marlene nods, ‘’yes. My grandmother is a full blood and her second born was a miscarriage so my father never knew. Not until I was born and my grandmother finally decided to enlighten him and my mother.’’ ‘’So..’’ my eyes widening I stare at Marlene, ‘’you’re a full blooded Veela?’’ ‘’Yes. And.. this curse? It’s been kept a secret from the ministry, they think that full blood Veelas are near extinct still.’’ Meeting my eyes she shakes her head, ‘’Hermione I don’t know what to do. My dad is a half blood male so he’s never had to go through any changes. But now that I’ve gotten my period the Veela side in me has been activated and according to my grandma I can now turn into an actual harpy’’ she hisses, her eyes growing wide with fear. ‘’I don’t know how to deal with this Hermione, I don’t want to change into a harpy!!’’ Bursting out crying she desperately shakes her head, ‘’an- and- and my gra- grandmother i- isn’t a- alive anymore either t-to help m-me…’’ ‘’Shh…’’ I whisper, ‘’sshh it’s going to be okay… we’ll… we’ll figure this out okay? We’ll do it together… we’ll figure it out.’’ Pulling her into a hug I hold her tightly, ‘’you’re going to be okay. I’ll be here every step with you.’’ _

This was about a six months ago I reckon, Marlene was an absolute wreck for days, but I pulled her through it and she’s been telling me everything she knows about Veelas ever since. I’ve been looking them up as well, wanting to know as much as possible, but there’s surprisingly little about them.

‘’Why don’t you tell me then?’’ Marlene whispers, staring at me. ‘’You can trust me Hermione, I haven’t told _anyone_ about you being a you know what. I’m not going to tell anybody about what else you’re hiding either!’’ Swallowing I nod weakly, ‘’I.. I know Marlene, I know you won’t’’ staring at my hands I swallow again, why am I so conscious of swallowing right now? ‘’I just, it’s not just my secret Marlene, it isn’t mine to tell’’ or is it?

‘’I see’’ Marlene mutters, turning back to the field she doesn’t say anything else. ‘’Marlene…’’ I mumble, looking up at her but she doesn’t reply.

Turning to the pitch as well I watch the players blankly, I don’t even really see who is who.

Can I tell her? I could? Right?

After the practice James runs to me with a large grin, ‘’IT WENT GREAT DIDN’T IT?!’’ He shouts, jumping up and down excitedly making me laugh weakly, ‘’yea James! You, you were brilliant!’’ Glancing at Marlene I frown before grinning at James again, ‘’I’m sure you got the spot!’’ ‘’Well we’ll find out tomorrow!’’ He exclaims, draping an arm around my shoulder he starts leading me back to the castle, ‘’what’s up with you and Marley?’’ He asks, grinning down at me, ‘’I’m sorry this seems serious but I can’t stop smiling’’ he chuckles, and I grin in reply, ‘’I get that’’ I laugh. ‘’And nothing’s going on, don’t worry’’ elbowing him softly I run off with a laugh, ‘’I’ll see you later, gotta talk to my mother!’’

‘’Oi!’’ He shouts, laughing at me from where he stopped next to the changing rooms. ‘’YOU DID BRILLIANT THOUGH’’ I shout, right before turning around and hastily making my way to Minerva’s chambers.

‘’Hello?! Are you in!?’’ I exclaim, stumbling through the portrait hole. ‘’Hermione? Yes? Good afternoon to you too, what’s wrong?’’ Minerva asks, looking up from her desk, where’s she’s apparently grading papers, ‘’how did the lesson go this morning?’’ She asks, smiling at me.

Shaking my head I rush forwards, ‘’can I tell Marlene?’’ I breathe, my eyes wide as I try to catch my breath. ‘’Tell her what?’’ Minerva asks in surprise. ‘’I don’t know?! Anything, everything?! Me being a seer? Will I put her in danger if she knows?! Will it put anyone in danger?!’’ I ramble.

‘’Oh.. well..’’ Chuckling Minerva shakes her head, ‘’I don’t think you can put her in danger if she knows, because she’d only be in danger if Voldemort already knows about your sight, which will make her a target either way because she’s your best friend. Besides, she’ll be quite the prize on her own too, so better you both stand strong together no?’’ ‘’I… I suppose’’ I mutter, ‘’so I can tell her? You won’t mind?’’ ‘’Hermione it’s your secret, you’re the one that it concerns, you’re the one that can decide who knows and who doesn’t.’’ ‘’Oh..’’ I mutter, nodding for a moment before grinning.

Turning around I run to the door again, ‘’thanks! I’m going to tell her right away!’’ I gasp, not even waiting for a reply as I’m already running through the hall, down the stairs, to the Great Hall, there!

I spot Marlene’s icy blonde curls easily and reach her with a large grin, before gasping and resting on my knees with a groan, ‘’damn I need to get in shape.’’ I groan before looking up and meeting Marlene’s surprised gaze, ‘’come on! I’ll tell you!’’ I exclaim, gesturing to the doors, ‘’I’ll tell you everything.’’ Her eyes widen in surprise before she jumps up, ‘’really?!’’ ‘’Yes!’’ I laugh, ‘’come on! I don’t need the rest of the school to know!’’

Nodding excitedly she grabs her bag and we rush to the Gryffindor tower silently, by the time we reach it I need to lie down for a moment, Marlene closing the curtain and casting privacy charms in the meantime. I knew it would be a good idea to teach her those!

‘’So?’’ She asks, turning to me with wide excited eyes. Okay, breathe, one, two, three, ‘’where do I start?’’ I chuckle weakly.

She smiles silently to me, waiting for me to sort through my thoughts patiently, thank Merlin for that. ‘’Okay, so, basically, I’m a seer’’ I mutter, staring at my hands determinedly. Let’s just you know.. that’s a good start.

‘’What?’’ She asks, absolutely perplexed. Chuckling I look up, ‘’yea, that’s what I said too.’’ ‘’I thought you didn’t believe in Divination?’’ ‘’Oh I don’t. The entire class is absolute bull’’ I agree, ‘’but, I am a seer.’’ ‘’As in you can see the future.’’ ‘’And the past and the present, yes’’ I nod. She stares at me in horror for a moment before leaning forwards, ‘’you can see my past? _And_ my present at all times?!’’ Blanching I shake my head quickly, ‘’no! Well, technically yes I could, but I don’t! I mean, I don’t look at your timeline! It would be difficult to see anyway, because it’s impossible to see my own timeline so as long as you hang around me I can’t really see much of yours either.’’ This is actually something I learned about a week or two ago when I tried looking into Minerva’s future, something she had insisted on. I pulled out before I saw too much though, I do _not_ need to see her die.

Marlene stays quiet for a moment before frowning, ‘’why couldn’t you tell me before?’’ ‘’Well’’ I mutter, squaring my shoulders, ‘’maybe you’ve heard, maybe you haven’t, but there’s a dark lord on the rise. He’s been killing muggles, muggleborns and blood traitors everywhere in the country, he’s… quite a threat.’’ She nods slowly, ‘’yea, I think I heard my dad about that once, isn’t that all just talk though?’’ She asks softly. ‘’No, not really’’ I mutter, ‘’and with me being able to see the future? I’m quite the asset’’ grimacing I shake my head, ‘’I’ve been training with my mother and Albus to control my powers but it’s hard and takes up a lot of my time, as you know.’’

Nodding Marlene sighs, ‘’damn.’’ ‘’Hmm, and this morning? I had training with Aberforth, he’s Albus’s brother, remember Friday during Trans?’’ ‘’The magical wave?’’ Marlene clarifies and I nod, ‘’yes, apparently that was me. My magic’s been on lock down ever since I started school because when I look into someone’s eyes my magic acts up and shows me their first coming choice and possible outcomes of it. But because of it being on lock down for more than a year and therefor not having constant excess to my magic, it’s been growing without my knowledge and I can’t control it anymore once it’s outside of the walls…’’

I guess that sums it up pretty well right?

‘’I pretty much spend the entire day trying to gain back a little control over it, which I did. But still not nearly enough. I wanted to continue but I could barely stand on my feet anymore, that’s how draining training your core is.’’ I mutter, grimacing slightly.

‘’Woah’’ Marlene mutters. ‘’Woah indeed’’ I agree with a laugh, ‘’I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you. I was afraid you might become a target as well if I ever became one, but… well my mum pointed out you’d be one either way’’ I mutter weakly. ‘’That’s extremely comforting to know’’ she laughs softly before hugging me, ‘’you know what, I absolutely understand and I very much forgive you’’ she exclaims, ‘’I expect to be kept up to date about your meetings now though, I’ll be wanting to hear everything you learn about this so called ‘dark lord’ ‘’

Grinning I meet her eyes, ‘’I will. I promise.’’ ‘’Good!’’ Laughing she pokes my side, ‘’now come on. Tell me all about Dumbledore’s brother, is he just as cray cray?!’’ Giggling she falls back on my pillows and I follow her example with a giggle also, ‘’oh Marlene he’s on a whole different level’’ I laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rowling's world


	13. Sneakily Sneaking

Alright. It’s morning. It’s Monday morning and it’s time to get my sorry arse out of this really, really comfortable warm bed. Definitely time. Also. Today is my birthday. Not that anybody knows about it, thank the Lord above.

I generally never really celebrate it to be honest, so it’s not something that started here. Harry used to give me a present, sure, but Ron usually forgot. And even when I became friends with Ginny and Luna and we did something fun together to celebrate I still never actually looked forwards to it or something… I don’t know, lets blame the fact that when I was little my birthdays pretty much sucked because no one showed up and I had to spend all day with my parents and extended family Now my family isn’t the worst, but not having any friends kind of took the fun out of it? Which, by the way, I’m totally over. If you can’t tell.

Alright. Yes. Time to get out of bed. Let’s do this. Good… yes… now go! Ugh.

‘’Hermione?’’ Turning my face to my left I raise my eyebrows, ‘’yes Marley?’’ ‘’Why do we start so early on Mondays?’’ Returning my eyes to it’s former position of staring at the top of my bed I sigh, ‘’hell if I know.’’

OKAY. Yes. Sitting up I clap my hands together, ‘’let’s get this day started!’’ ‘’Nooooo’’ ‘’Come on Marley, I believe we have two _wonderful_ hours of Charms waiting for us with the Ravenclaws and without you I might not survive this.’’

Marlene is not pleased with this information in the slightest.

I think it’s about forty minutes later when we finally stroll into the Great Hall for a late breakfast. But I’m not hungry in the slightest and I keep finding myself in the position of poking my food around.

‘’What’s up with you?’’ Blinking up I raise my eyebrows at James, up with me? Ha! _Nothing_. Obviously. ‘’You try starting the day with that’’ I joke, pointing to Marlene with a small smirk. I’m not disappointed in the reaction, ‘’oi!!’’ With some peas directed at me but landing in James’s face. Really, does a better birthday present exist?

Grinning I grab the bowl of yoghurt, maybe I can eat this? ‘’So did you guys put the prank in motion yet?’’ Seeing his face I chuckle, really he’s so expressive.

‘’Jup!’’ He non the less exclaims, ‘’though we haven’t heard anything about it yet! Oh I would pay a hundred galleons to be a fly on the wall when someone touches the couch for the first time!’’ He laughs.

Looking up from his own breakfast Sirius grins broadly, ‘’oh definitely, think about how amazing it would have been to see Snivellus fall face first in a pile of worms!’’ Raising my eyebrows I shake my head, I’m not entirely sure how Sirius sits down on a couch but I usually don’t first plant my face in it to be honest.

I really should eat something… Listening to James and Sirius discussing Snape though I grimace, my appetite completely disappearing at their might-be pranks. Obviously I’ve acknowledged the fact I can’t _make_ them grow up and stop bullying them because they’re right stubborn little bastards. But hell if I sit here and actually start cheering them on for it. The prank was a well thought out plans, and I’m honestly impressed, just too bad they used it with _worms_ and on the Slytherins. Now only if they’d done it with butterflies in the Great Hall or something…

Sighing I grab my spoon and dip it in my yoghurt, one can only wish can they not?

‘’Hermione McGonagall?’’ Oh great. Looking up I smile, ‘’that’s me.’’ I swear, all of the prefects should know me by face by now. ‘’Awesome! I’ve got a message for you!’’ Oh _really_ now? Accepting the folded parchment I nod, ‘’thanks.’’ I even manage a smile for the lad before it turns into a ugly scowl directed at the teachers table, Albus really needs to bugger off.

Opening the parchment I scan the words before sending a curt nod to Albus and putting it away, only upon doing so I notice James staring at me and I raise my eyebrows in question. ‘’What?’’ I ask, he flushes but doesn’t turn away. ‘’Who was the note from?’’ Recognizing the glint in his eyes from another lad I remember that usually meant he’d be getting into trouble real soon I repress a groan. A marauder sticking his nose in my business is the last thing I need!

‘’From my mother, if you must know. She’s asking me over for tea’’ I lie smoothly, seeing the look on his face though I can tell he can tell I’m lying. Oh well I tried. I also tried having breakfast but my stomach is clearly not going to let that happen so let’s just head of to Charms shall we?

I spend the entire two hours bend over my notes doodling lazily and thinking about my cores when Marlene rather rudely shoves me. ‘’Oi’’ I mutter, raising my eyes from the parchment. I was in utter bliss of boredom, okay?! ‘’Look!’’ Following her line of sight I raise my eyebrows, there’s nothing there? ‘’What are you talking about, I can’t see anything?’’ 

‘’I know! That’s the thing, Flitwick just said it hasn’t been this misty in nearly fifteen years!’’ She exclaims and frowning I glance at the window again. ‘’And since when do you care about mist?’’ I ask perplexed, it looks pretty cool though.

Rolling her eyes Marlene shrugs, ‘’don’t you think it looks cool?! He thinks that if you go outside right now you won’t be able to see further than fife _centi_meters!! I mean! We _have_ to go!! Think about the hide and seek! It would be the ultimate game!’’

‘’Miss McKinnon, do you wish to share your excitement with the class?’’ Turning to Flitwick I lean my head in my hands with raised eyebrows, wonder how she’ll charm her way out of this one. It’s always highly amusing to witness.

Grinning Marlene nods, ‘’but of course professor! I mean, I was just thinking about the ultimate hide and seek possibilities in such a mist!’’ She exclaims. Ah, the honest route, she rarely ventures in these dangerous waters.

Everyone starts to chuckle and Flitwick nods before grimacing, ‘’ah yes, quite the possibilities indeed. But I feel the need to warn you not to fall in the lake or accidently wonder into the forbidden forest, with the mist it will be quite hard to find you even when you’re in trouble miss McKinnon.’’ Grimacing I glance at Marlene, who still looks extremely pleased with herself. ‘’Of course prof, I’m always careful’’ she answers with a cheeky grin, completely unfazed. Rolling my eyes I chuckle, how even is it that this school is so dangerous and most importantly, why is nobody really bothered by it?

Honestly though, I don’t really care for it much either. It brings for an exciting life, which is good right? After all, you only get to life once so better make the best of it. Or in some cases twice and you have to just… still do that…

Returning my eyes on Flitwick I listen to him tell us about the tickling charm. I remember when Harry used it on Malfoy in our second year, that had been an interesting year for sure, with Lockhart… Oh you know, that might actually be another plus side of starting over, nobody knows about my crush on that awful man here!!

Yes, definitely a plus point.

Allowing my eyes to wander over the people of the class I study them, I don’t really know any of the Ravenclaws other than in passing. Though there is one girl that looks strangely familiar, she has blonde curls up in a messy bun and she’s wearing quite… Luna-like jewellery. Could it be? Well, there really only could be one blonde girl that wears radishes in her ears in this time could there? It’s Luna’s mum, for sure! Now I know this the next action doesn’t faze me as much as it would’ve otherwise done, she meets my eyes head on, smiling serenely before waving. Only Luna had that kind of dreamy look in her eyes and still seem all knowing. I used to think she was a lot like her father but now?

Nodding back I smile before letting my eyes continue to wander around the classroom. Obviously I now the four lads in the back of the class whom are for once sitting on the edge of their seats and listening attentively to what Flitwick is saying, it would’ve been strange had it not been for what it was that Flitwick’s saying. The tickling charm _is_ rather amusing after all.

When the bell rings I jump up slightly, having zoned out completely it takes me a moment to gather my things before stepping out of the classroom. Seeing the blonde haired Ravenclaw I walk over with a soft smile, ‘’hello!’’ I greet.

Turning to me Luna’s mother smiles, ‘’good morning’’ she says pleasantly, holding her hand out she cocks her head to the side with a now knowing smile. ‘’I’m Pandora, Pandora Monet.’’ Taking her hand I grin, ‘’nice to meet you Pandora, I’m Hermione McGonagall.’’ ‘’Is that so?’’ She asks before starting to walk. Raising my eyebrows I nod and fall into step next to her.

‘’I don’t believe we’ve met before, have we?’’ She asks and I shake my head, ‘’no I don’t think so.’’ It’s strange almost how I instantly feel relaxed around her, like I can trust her without a doubt. ‘’Hmm..’’ she mumbles softly, ‘’I feel like I know you. Was your first year pleasant?’’ Shrugging I nod, ‘’it was alright, everyone’s been very nice.’’ No immortality stone or a three headed dog, thankfully. ‘’Yours?’’

Pandora smiles serenely, ‘’oh people are indeed quite pleasant here aren’t they? I’ve made plenty of friends in Ravenclaw, I’m happy to have a friend in Gryffindor now as well.’’ She answers bluntly and it makes my smile grow. ‘’Especially to make one on such a special day.’’ She continues, and raising my eyebrow at her I chuckle, ‘’is that so? What’s today?’’ I ask. ‘’Oh isn’t today your birthday?’’

Freezing in my step my mouth falls open, ‘’how do you know that?!’’ I’m _certain_ I didn’t tell anybody. Pandora shrugs, glancing at me with a simple smile still on her face, ‘’didn’t you know?’’ She replies as if it’s the most obvious answer to such a question.

Well it is _not_!! 

But she’s related to Luna and can I really expect any different kind of answer? Grimacing I’m about to reply when Pandora continues talking, ‘’can I maybe clean your aura?’’ What? ‘’It’s very interesting yours, fire and lightning… red and blue… It’s a bit dirty though, I could dust it off?’’ Raising my eyebrows at her I slowly nod my head. ‘’Yea sure.. go ahead.’’

She immediately reaches over and starts plucking the air around me for the next five minutes until stepping away with a satisfied look on her face, ‘’a lot better!’’ She exclaims before meeting my eyes, ‘’well I have to take this turn. It was nice meeting you Hermione, happy birthday!’’

Watching her skip away I shake my head slightly. Well that was all kinds of odds. Turning I start my way up to the common room of Gryffindor, our entire year has a free period now and will probably be lounging around there. Taking the note I got from Albus out of my pocket I frown at it, is it really that hard to let me have _one_ day?_ One_ day of just… peace? I really am doing all that I can at the pace I can! Grumbling I put the note back in my coat, I guess I don’t really have a choice.

‘’Ouch!!’’ Crashing into someone I fall down with a groan, fuck. ‘’Watch where you’re going!!’’ The person I bumped into yells angrily and looking up I’m about to retort when my eyes meet two identical pairs of dark grey ones. Off all the people in the castle it’s Rabastan Lestrange and someone that looks like an older version of him, must be Rudolphus Lestrange, that are the ones glaring down at me.

Standing up I grimace, ‘’excuse me but I do believe it takes two to bump into one another.’’ I reply icily when his words finally come through, what an arse, honestly. They both scoff before walking away, muttering about stupid traitors and foul blood, _arses_ I swear.

By the time I enter the Gryffindor common room I’ve calmed down considerably and fall down on the couch next to Marlene with a grimace, discarding my coat on the ground next to it without much thought. ‘’Hello’’ I greet weakly. ‘’Hey sweetie’’ Marlene chuckles, ‘’having a tough day hmm?’’ Tugging my head to rest on her lap she grins down at me. That’s something I’ve noticed in this time period, everyone is very… touching? I’m always greeted with a hug or a sloppy kiss on my cheek and when we’re relaxing in the common room everyone just lounges all over each other without a second thought. Maybe it’s because Ron and Harry were two boys but it took me ages to get used to.

Now though I can relax pretty much immediately as I settle down, ‘’nah, everything is perfectly fine. Just not really in the mood for classes actually.’’ Marlene’s muscles immediately freeze under my head and raising my eyebrows I watch how her face splits into a giant grin on her face.

‘’Excuse me!?’’ She exclaims. ‘’I’m not feeling school today?’’ I ask, ‘’everything is just so boring.’’ Grimacing I glance at the fire, I already know everything okay! I apologize if that sounds snobby but sometimes it can come out of my throat.

Eyes widening Marlene excitedly starts to bounce up and down, pretty much forcing me to sit back up. ‘’Yes! Yes! YESS!!’’ Raising my eyebrows I wait for her to elaborate. ‘’Hermione McGonagall I’ve been waiting for this day for over a year now. Give me, _grant_ me this power. The power to skip the rest of the day with you!!’’ She half shouts, half whispers as she spread her arms out dramatically, jumps up and stretches her back.

‘’Let’s have a day of absolute and horribly delicious FAILURE!!!’’ Definitely shouting now. But… I’d miss absolutely nothing and I can really use a day of nothing… ‘’you know what? To hell with it, let’s do it!’’ I say with a shrug, making a move to rise to my feet as well just as Marlene falls to her knees dramatically, well never mind that then! ‘’My wildest dreams, wildest dreams’’ she repeats continuously, of course darling…

Laughing I push her away, ‘’stop that’’ I laugh, ‘’or I’ll change my mind!’’ She quickly sits down next to me, ‘’you can’t go back on your word Hermione! Verbal contract is legal here!’’ She exclaims, chuckling I shake my head before summoning a book I have lying upstairs.

‘’What did I hear princess, you’re skipping class?’’ Looking up I nod just as my book lands in my lap. ‘’Oh just bugger off Black’’ Marlene mumbles. ‘’Ah but why would I do that, love?’’ Sirius replies cheekily, raising my eyebrows I quickly open my book to hide my grin behind. They could go on for a while, and it’s always highly amusing. ‘’You know what?’’ Marlene growls, ‘’I would insult you, but nature already did a good enough job of that.’’ She hisses, turning her back on him and I have to slap a hand over my mouth to hide a laugh in a cough. Uh oh. Sorry!! It’s just that I _know_ Marlene took that phrase out of this stupid book we bought and read in the summer, I never thought she would actually use it!!

Sirius, sadly, isn’t fooled by my amazing cover up and turned to me with raised eyebrows, ‘’though that was funny did you?’’ I can actually hear his ire rising. Why again does he have that famous Black temper? And don’t you dare say because he’s a Black!!

‘’I bet you stayed up all night trying to come up with that one’’ he hisses but Marlene just huffs and opens a magazine. ‘’If you’re waiting for me to care I hope you brought a tent because you’ll be waiting a damn long time.’’ Oh damn another one! Hiding my grin behind my book this time I swallow thickly, are they some James and Lily too!? What is up with these people!?

Turning his eyes on Alice who’s been buried in a book on the couch next to us the entire time Sirius smirks, ‘’Allie doesn’t mind me being here, right?’’ Okay _now_ things are getting truly interesting. Raising her eyes slowly Alice flushes red before shaking her head slowly, ‘’no… no that’s quite alright Sirius.’’ Flickering me a fearful glance Alice silently begs for my help so I slam my book closed before Sirius can answer. Pushing myself off the couch I grin, ‘’I’m going for a walk.’’ I announce, turning to Alice I cock my head to the side, ‘’join me?’’ ‘’Gladly!’’

We quickly leave the common room and only when we’re walking past the windows and I feel the cold draft that I curse to myself when I realize I forgot my cloak inside. Damn it.

‘’Thanks about that’’ Alice chuckles. Smirking I shake my head, ‘’not a problem. How’s it going with Scott?’’ Grinning Alice blushes, ‘’oh really good, he’s the sweetest you know?’’ Scott and Alice actually met during the train ride apparently and they started dating last summer, I swear to Merlin they’re the sweetest thing!

She continues to tell me all about their latest date in one of the abandoned classrooms that he had decorated. I mean, talk about boyfriend goals!

‘’So tell me.’’

Hearing her suddenly serious tone I glance at her with raised eyebrows, we’ve just entered Minerva’s quarters and we’re sitting in my room when Alice starts staring me down. ‘’Tell you… what?’’ I ask, chuckling softly. ‘’Whatever’s bothering you, that’s what.’’ Something’s bothering me?

Rolling her eyes Alice rolls on her back before narrowing her eyes on me, ‘’you know who you should talk to? Your mum! My mum always has the greatest advice for me when something’s bothering me, especially when I’m not aware of it bothering me.’’ But… nothing’s bothering me? ‘’See you around McGonagall! Thanks for the save!’’ Alice winks before swinging around the bedpost out the door.

Watching her go I sigh before shuffling to the living room.

‘’Hey, I saw Alice leave.’’ Minerva greets with raised eyebrows, ‘’everything all right?’’ ‘’Well apparently something’s bothering me’’ I sigh, dragging a hand through my hair. Raising her eyebrows Minerva studies me for a moment before nodding, ‘’there is. And it has something to do with the date too.’’ How the hell do people keep knowing what’s up today!? ‘’Last year you were all mopey on this day too, what’s so special about the 19th of September?’’ Ugh.

Rolling my eyes I grab one of the liquorish she always keeps on the coffee table in this ceramic bowl she’s very proud of owning. ‘’Nothing, alright!? I’m just tired, I’m doing a lot you know.’’ ‘’Oh I know that, but there’s definitely something about this specific day that separates it from other ‘tired’ days. So tell me, what personal thing happened today?’’

Jeesh let a girl keep her secrets already!!! ‘’Fine!!’’ I’m weak. I’m a weak, weak person. ‘’Fine! Today is my birthday, you happy?’’ Tracing a line over the couch I grimace, maybe I _do_ miss the activity with Luna and Ginny! And maybe I _do_ miss that one terrible gift Harry always picks out!! But that doesn’t mean I want to celebrate it now! Better yet, it makes me want to celebrate it _less_. I don’t want to replace those memories.

‘’Wait your _birthday_?!’’ Minerva exclaims, unaware of my thoughts. ‘’Then why are you so down, we need to celebrate!’’ Scoffing I shake my head, ‘’that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. I don’t actually want to celebrate my birthday, okay? I don’t exactly have brilliant memories of it and the ones I _do_ have, I don’t want to replace them. All I want is this bloody day to be over.’’ Please don’t press it. Please don’t press it. Please don’t press it.

Thankfully she senses my reluctance and stand up with a slight nod, ‘’very well then I do believe I have a class to teach and you have one to attend. So I will see you in class.’’ Shaking my head I also rise to my feet, ‘’oh no you won’t. Marlene and I are skipping classes today, she has be in a verbal contract’’ I inform her with a shrug. Passing her through the portrait hole I grin, ‘’I’ll see you tonight though!’’ ‘’Wait but that’s my class you’re skipping!’’ Chuckling I grin at her over my shoulder, ‘’you’ll be fine!’’ I exclaim, turning the corner and walking back up to the common room ignoring her attempts to change my mind.

I enter the common room about ten minutes later with a grin still on my face, flopping down on the couch next to Marlene with a content sigh. Glancing over the side though I can’t help but frown, ‘’huh, where’s my coat?’’ Shrugging Marlene glances up from her magazine, ‘’no clue.’’

Rolling my eyes I settle back, ‘’so Marls, this is my first time not attending class without a genuine excuse. What would you have me do?’’ I ask, clasping my hands together. Marlene grins excitedly as though she was waiting for me to ask this question and oh… am I already regretting this?

‘’Let’s head upstairs then, it’s make-over time!!!’’ Oh okay yeah so I’m regretting this. Laughing I allow her to drag me upstairs, already feeling a little lighter.

**James POV   
**Watching Hermione go in amusement I pull her coat out of my bag, aha!

‘’Why do you have that..?’’ Sirius asks almost immediately, leaning over my shoulder with wide eyes. ‘’Just curious’’ I mumble, shrugging uncommittedly before reaching into the pockets. A_ha_!! Pulling out the folded parchment I quickly open it and scan the phrases written on it in cursive handwriting. ‘’Hermione, I wish to talk to you about your progress. The current password is Banana, Minerva will be present as well. Signed, Albus.’’ Sirius reads out loud over my shoulder, ‘’progress with what?’’ He then asks, looking at me with raised eyebrows.

Frowning I shake my head, ‘’I don’t know.’’ Turning the parchment I groan, ‘’I don’t get it!’’ Why is Hermione so damn mysterious!?

‘’Well I say we crash a meeting’’ Sirius exclaims with his famous smirk and glancing at him I get a smirk of my own, ‘’hmm, with a certain cloak?’’ I ask myself, we’d get in and out without being noticed. Sirius nods before smirking even wickeder, ‘’let’s fucking do this!’’

Nodding I laugh before putting the note and the coat back in place. Wouldn’t want her to figure out we took her coat now would we? Turning to Sirius I grin, ‘’on a complete side note, have you _smelled_ the Slytherins lately?!’’ Bursting out laughing Sirius shakes his head, ‘’oh Merlin, have you seen the scowls we got from them this morning?! We’d all have holes in our head if they had to the power!’’ All I can do is agree whilst being highly amused, I mean, smelly Slytherins really is just a new level of comedy!

‘’Come on guys we have Transfiguration’’ Remus says, walking over to us with a small smile before raising his eyebrows. ‘’What are you planning this time?’’ Grabbing my bag I shrug, ‘’I don’t know what you’re saying Remus, we’re not planning anything!’’ He scoffs in disbelief but doesn’t say a word in retaliation, it seems he’s learned from past mistakes! ‘’About that,’’ Sirius turns to me, ‘’how’s the Lily plan going?’’ Grinning I nod excitedly, ‘’pretty awesome actually! I’ve been researching this charm, it creates flowers and I once I master it I’m going to charm a load of lilies on Lily’s bed to tell her how much I like her!’’ I exclaim, moving my hands through the air to demonstrate.

Laughing Sirius nods, ‘’oeh I do like that plan! You can even make some sing!’’ ‘’Sirius you brilliant man’’ I exclaim, turning to him with a gasp. I could totally do that! ‘’Oh stop it’’ he laughs, flicking his hair, ‘’brilliant plan though, if I do say so. But uh.. how do you plan on getting them on Lily’s bed?’’ Yes that does seem to be the gap in my plan…

‘’I haven’t figured that out yet, but! I’m sure I’ll come up with something in no time!’’ I exclaim with a laugh. ‘’Besides, I don’t think we’ve tried flying up to their window yet and entering without touching the floor have we?’’ I add thoughtfully, it might work? Sirius nods, ‘’you’ve got a good point there… How’s the flying going anyways?’’

Grinning follow him out of the common room, ‘’oh brilliantly of course! Carlo absolutely loves me.’’ Carlo DeGeneres is the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, he’s a 6th year and absolutely adamant on getting the cup this year.

Honestly, I’m all for that! And because I’ve been creating plays since I was seven with Marlene’s uncle Matthew, who’s a professional Quidditch player in America, I’ve been getting along with the lad splendidly. Sirius not so much though because he’s been in detention so often he’s missed the last two practices, something Carlo wasn’t all that happy about.

‘’Ha, Carlo lover all of us players!’’ Sirius laughs just as we enter the classroom. Rolling my eyes I scoff, ‘’sure Siri, all but you and me the most!’’ I laugh, plopping down in our usual seat. ‘’Excuse me, Carlo loves me!’’ Looking around I frown when I see the empty seats in front of us, ‘’sure, sure. Hey, where are Marlene and Hermione?’’ I literally just saw them in the common room! 

Shrugging Sirius kicks his feet up, ‘’they’re skipping. Marlene got Hermione in a, and I quote, verbal contract. Apparently Hermione’s never skipped classes before,’’ chuckling he shrugs, ‘’well not without reason anyways. She’s been pulled out of class plenty of times.’’ Grimacing I nod, that’s true. It’s not a strange thing anymore when a prefect drops by with a message for Hermione to be excused from class or if a professor sends her away before class can evens start.

‘’Good morning everyone’’ glancing at my watch I grimace, a late morning. Minnie doesn’t seem to care though and calmly starts collecting homework, stopping in front of us she raises her eyebrows. Don’t think I haven’t noticed though how she doesn’t look surprised at all to see Hermione and Marlene not being here!

Grinning up at her I clear my throat, ‘’I’m so professor’’ I start, it’s absolutely Sirius’s turn to get us out of this one. ‘’But sadly we were held up when we got into a fight with someone that said you were _not_ the best teacher of the castle!’’ He exclaims, sounding absolutely enraged. I nod along calmly as if this is the complete truth and nothing else but. In our defense, we _did_ get into an argument with some Slytherins that thought Minnie’s an unfair teacher. I mean, what kind of arseholes were they?!

‘’We could not let that stand of course!’’ Sirius meanwhile continued, ‘’our Minnie, how even _dare_ they!’’ Shaking my head in agreement I stay silent. ‘’Mister Black please stop with this sad attempt to convince me that you actually wanted to make this essay. I’m giving you both until the end of the day to have that essay on my desk, otherwise I will see you gentlemen Friday evening on the usual time.’’ She informs us sternly, Sirius slumping in his seat with a grimace. Shrugging his shoulders at my glare, ‘’I tried’’ he mouths innocently. ‘’Rubbish’’ I mouth back.

He scoffs and turns his face away in a pretend hurt fashion, to which I only scoff in reply and turn around to face Remus and Peter whom are seated behind us. ‘’Hello there’’ I greet, Remus immediately shaking his head, ‘’no’’ he says calmly and I grimace, ‘’of course, I wouldn’t dare ask you Remus… so Peter!’’ I then exclaim, turning to the smaller boy, I grin at my oldest friend, ‘’you’d let me borrow your paper right?’’ I ask with a grin. He chuckles before nodding, ‘’of course James, but McGonagall took all our papers, we won’t get them back until next lesson.’’

Staring at him I sigh sadly, ‘’well thanks for at least _saying_ you’d let me borrow it’’ I mutter, giving Remus a dramatic fake glare before turning back around. Maybe Hermione would lend me hers? She hasn’t handed it in yet! I can’t help but grin proudly at the plan of asking her forming in my head, yes that should work, just give her my best sad eyes!

‘’Alright everybody, today we will be covering the Softening Charm. Now I am correct in believing professor Flitwick already discussed and practiced this charm with you all at the end of last year no?’’ Seeing the nods move over the students Minnie nods, ‘’very well. Let’s cover it quickly then.’’

And that’s the start of one long hour of listening to Minnie lecturing us, and watching the board as she writes down the connection between this charm and Transfiguration. It’s half way through when Sirius bumps his elbow in my side roughly, I had long since give in to the lecture and had started taking notes with a painful expression on my face. Him bumping into me though my quill shoots out over my parchment crossing it diagonally straight through all of the information I had just dotted down. ‘’Sirius!’’ I hiss angrily, staring at the ugly black line. Ugh. ‘’Great…’’ I mumble before finally looking up to which Sirius wanted my attention.

My eyes widening almost immediately when I see Sirius holding his wand under the table, pointing it at a Ravenclaw girl with straight black hair pulled up in a tight ponytail. She’s wearing glasses and is scribbling down notes furiously whilst her hand is up in the air pretty much constantly with questions.

Raising my eyebrows I lean back a little so I can see Sirius’s movements. ‘’_Rictusempra_’’ the jinx had become Sirius’s new favorite in a rather short span of time. We continue to watch how the girl drops her quill with a soft squeak, slapping her hand over her mouth as a giggle escapes it. Quickly turning into full on laughter.

Sirius leans back next to me now too, quickly hiding his wand in his bag before folding his arms in amusement to watch the scene. ‘’Who is she?’’ I mumble under my breath, the girl is now holding onto her stomach with her other hand and is laughing loudly, her eyes growing gigantic as tears appear in them.

Shrugging Sirius cocks his head to the side, ‘’Amy Fieldway’’ he mumbles, ‘’she ratted me and Peter out last week and she is annoying the hell out of me right now.’’ He continues to explain, chuckling in amusement as we now watch how Minnie looks absolutely stumped with the interruption. ‘’Miss Fieldway!’’ She exclaims, but the poor girl can only shake her head with large eyes. ‘’Hahaha I- whahahaha I don’t- hahahaha, whahahaha, haha, haha don’t know, hahahah, I, hahahha, what, hahahah, don’t know, hahahaha, happening, whahaha, what, hahahaha’’ the girl gasps out.

‘’You got her good, mate’’ I chuckle. Turning to the girl that’s sitting next to Fieldway Minnie raises her eyebrows, ‘’miss Mables please inform me what seems to be so amusing?’’ She exclaims, to which the other girl shrugs weakly. ‘’Nothing, professor. She was just taking notes when suddenly she couldn’t stop laughing.’’ This is apparently what Minnie was looking for because her eyes widen slightly with realization and she glances at us before taking her wand out and flicking it, ‘’_Rectodesino_’’ she mutters.

We watch how the girls laughter slowly fades into harsh breathing, her entire face now red and still clutching her stomach with tears in her eyes. ‘’Miss Mables, please take miss Fieldway to the medical wing. Madam Pomfrey will have something for her stomach’’ Minnie says before rounding on us.

‘’Mister Black, mister Potter I demand an explanation!’’ She hisses but we blanch innocently. ‘’Excuse me, but we had no hand in this’’ Sirius exclaims, ‘’that you accuse us of something so _vile_ is despicable Minnie. How could you believe such a thing?!’’ He continues to rage and I nod my agreement with a disappointed expression, ‘’I’ve never felt such betrayal!’’ I whisper dramatically. ‘’How will we recover?!’’ ‘’We will not, that’s how!’’ I reply to Sirius, ‘’we will feel this pain for the rest of our days!’’ I cry.

Minnie sighs before holding a hand up tiredly, ‘’I will not hear it. I expect no other… disruptions… the rest of this lesson’’ she informs us, her expression clear she’ll not let the next indiscretion go before continuing her lesson. Smirking Sirius high fives me under the table.

‘’Anyways, about tonight’’ Sirius suddenly mumbles, ‘’I do have detention, so I might not make it.’’ Rolling my eyes I turn to him, ‘’what the hell did you do this time?’’ I exclaim. Shrugging Sirius drags a hand through his hair, ‘’I was standing next to the window when a sudden gust of wind blew Zalora Blishwick’s skirt up.’’ Blishwick?

‘’Isn’t Blishwick that girl from the Ravenclaw quidditch team?’’ I ask, to which he hits the back of my head with a groan. Oi! ‘’Yes, you tosser. But also this totally hot fifth year!’’ Sirius exclaims, ‘’you need to set your priorities straight mate, Blishwick is so much hotter than she’s known for her Quidditch.’’

Rubbing the back of my head I scoff, ‘’yea, but still a fifth year you blockhead!’’ Laughing I shake my head, ‘’you’ll never have chance!’’ ‘’Oh you just wait’’ Sirius exclaims. I scoff before rolling my eyes, ‘’so she gave you detention then?’’ ‘’Nah, I don’t think she minded all that much to be honest. It was that dumb muggle studies teacher that saw me, Peter too mind, so he has detention too.’’ Slapping my forehead I laugh, ‘’dumbasses. Wait, where were Remus and I when this was happening?’’

It isn’t often that Sirius gets into trouble without me, usually it’s only when I’m already in detention from something when he does something stupid. Like last time when I was sitting in detention for duping a bucket of water on Snivellus, something Sirius escaped from, the little bugger.

He chuckles, shaking his head slightly before answering. ‘’Oh it was when Peter and I were on our way to detention from the Snivellus thing needing a bath thing.’’ Shrugging Sirius drags a hand through his hair with a grin, ‘’I saw the opportunity and seized it!’’ He exclaims.

‘’Mister Black!’’ Ah oh. ‘’Do you wish to share the reason of your outburst?!’’ Minnie exclaims, turning to us. ‘’No Minnie, I’d much rather listen to your wonderful explanation of the uses of the softening charm!’’ Sirius replies sweetly. Rolling my eyes I almost scoff, Minnie following my prime example. ‘’Then I presume I will not hear you again’’ she answers curtly, turning back to the board.

We were supposed to move through the subject quickly, but there’s some Ravenclaw guy that’s asking so many questions it’s pretty much impossible. I think Minnie explained this thing over five times now you absolute moron! 

Sirius manages to keep his mouth shut through the rest of the lesson but when we step out of the classroom we both state at the same time, ‘’I don’t like that dude.’’ Shouldering my bag I chuckle as we wait for Remus and Peter, ‘’though really, you don’t like anyone.’’ ‘’That’s a lie!’’ Sirius exclaims, ‘’I like you perfectly fine at times. And Remi and Pete! Oh and don’t forget about Minnie dearest!’’ He continues, winking at Minnie whom raises her eyebrows slightly. ‘’Oh you know you love me too Minnie, I know you do!’’ He exclaims, grimacing when Remus and I start pulling him to the Great Hall.

‘’One day she’s going to shout at you for so long that your ears will fall off you know’’ I tell him calmly. Sirius smirks at that, ‘’oh I’m counting on it’’ he laughs. Rolling my eyes in amusement I follow him into the Great Hall, ‘’Food’’ I sigh happily, seeing the rows and rows of Food waiting for me.

Sirius scoffs, ‘’you’re one Food induced kid, mate’’ he states. Smirking I nod, ‘’oh you know it’’ I exclaim, before beginning with the pile of Treacle tarts. ‘’Oh I do so love these’’ I mumble, chewing on one contently.

Clearing his throat Remus suddenly leans forwards with a grimace, ‘’hey guys I won’t be coming to school tomorrow.’’ Looking up I glance at the letter in his hands, his mum sick again? ‘’What, why not?’’ Sirius asks. ‘’I’m going home tonight, my mother got sick again’’ he mutters, not meeting our eyes. ‘’That sucks mate, tell her I wish her good health’’ Sirius mutters, nodding I smile, ‘’yea me too.’’

Remus grimaces with a nod, ‘’thanks you guys.’’ Peter also mumbling a get well for his mother before everyone continues eating again. Eyeing Remus I grimace, he leaves a lot during the school year. At least once a month I’d say, sometimes more? 

Grimacing I take another bite from my tart, my eyes moving past Remus they fall on the Slytherin table. Sirius’s little brother had started about a month ago and he was sorted into Slytherin, I’d seen Sirius talk to him a couple of time but pretty rarely to be honest. I know Sirius hates that he can’t help Regulus in any way, he’s trying to be there for him but it seems Regulus doesn’t really want any help. I invited him over through Sirius if there’s ever anything wrong again, but I kind of doubt they’ll take me up for it.

‘’Hey James!’’ Sirius exclaims and frowning I blink back to the Gryffindor table. Turning to him I pull a smile up, ‘’what?’’ ‘’Did you hear?!’’ He exclaims excitedly, ‘’the Slytherins still haven’t figured out how to undo the spell! There’s not a safe thing in the Slytherin common room,’’ he laughs, ‘’everyone smells horrible too. Apparently the stench won’t leave the room because there are no windows in the dungeons.’’ He continues, loud laughter coming from his mouth. Laughing as well I shake my head, that _is_ good to know.

After lunch we go back to the common room to find Hermione and Marlene lounging on one of the couches. My eyes are immediately drawn to Hermione’s hair that’s braided into two braids down her back with small white flowers in them, and when she looks over her shoulder my eyes widen slightly. Marlene had put glitters beside her eyes and she’s even wearing lip-gloss, lipstick? She looks- ‘’James!’’ Jumping up she twirls dramatically, ‘’don’t I look awfully cute?’’ She laughs, finding the whole thing hilarious. She’s wearing a white dress with a pirate vibe of poofy arms and poofy skirt with lace on the top.

‘’You look adorable kitten’’ Sirius laughs from behind me, Hermione laughing in amusement.

Grinning Marlene jumps up as well, ‘’I told you, you look good!’’ Throwing her arm over Hermione’s shoulder she grins proudly. ‘’Well love I do say you finally cleaned yourself up too’’ Sirius exclaims cleverly and I groan internally, already knowing what would follow. Hermione sighs too. ‘’_Excuse_ me!?’’ Marlene hisses. ‘’I mean, you needed that make-over desperately sweetie.’’ I knew it. I just knew he’d say it. Hermione and I collectively groan.

Marlene actually looks pretty much exactly like she always does to be honest, only a red blouse instead of the white one and well… yes no that’s about it. Oh, right. And she looks pissed.

Putting her hands on her hips she raises her eyebrows, ‘’excuse me?’’ She hisses again, but now her voice is lowering. Oh no, no Sirius get out. _Run_, now!! ‘’Alright!!’’ I exclaim, ‘’let’s go up buddy, we need to figure out that thing remember?!’’

Remus starts nodding along excitedly from next to me, ‘’yes the thing!’’ He exclaims, mirroring my action of taking one of Sirius’s arms. ‘’Exactly, the super, mega, gigantic important thing!’’ I state before dragging Sirius up to the dormitory with Remus.

‘’What thing?’’ Sirius asks when we enter. ‘’Oh you know’’ Remus mumbles. ‘’Yea, you know’’ I add with a shrug, grabbing a magazine I fall on my bed. ‘’Hey anyways, I was thinking. You haven’t targeted Snivellus in a while now Sirius’’ I exclaim, flipping through the magazine. It’s about… I have no clue what’s it about. Throwing it away I sit up, ‘’neither have I actually. I mean, we’ve targeted him in the hallway but come on… we can’t actually call that a real prank!’’ Smirking I raise my eyebrows, ‘’or have you gone soft?’’

Sirius gasps dramatically, ‘’how even dare you’’ he whispers. ‘’I will show you just how touch I still am, you just wait!’’ He exclaims, turning around he rushes to the door. ‘’Where are you going?’’ I ask with a laugh. ‘’To the library of course’’ he shouts, already racing down the stairs. The dumbass, really.

‘’I’m happy you changed his thought topic, but did you have to make it Snape?’’ Remus sighs, glancing up from his book. Grinning I nod, ‘’now at least we’ll have some fun of it!’’ I exclaim, before grabbing a book myself. Flipping to the page we’re at with class I settle down, reading through topic we’ll be discussing at the coming Charms lesson.

‘’James, James!!’’ Looking up I raise my eyebrows, ‘’what?’’ ‘’We’re late for study hall!!’’ He exclaims, already grabbing his school bag. ‘’Oh bugger’’ I exclaim, jumping up as well I grab my bag and run after Remus and Peter with wide eyes. ‘’Shit, shit, shit, shit!’’ Rushing into the hall we all freeze.

‘’Pleased you decided to join us’’ Minnie greets with raised eyebrows. Grimacing we all mutter something incoherent before quickly sitting down. ‘’Where’s Sirius?’’ I hiss, but Remus shrugs, ‘’must still be in the library?’’ He mutters back with a frown. ‘’Sirius in the library for more than an hour on his _own_?!’’ I whisper, ‘’no way in hell!’’ It simply isn’t possible!

Grimacing Remus nods, ‘’it does sound doubtful.’’ Rolling my eyes I open my book to continue reading, but I can’t focus for the rest of the hour, keeping one eye on the door. 

When study hall is over we all race to the library quickly, a laugh escaping us when we find him at our table with his head on his book. ‘’Well now it makes sense’’ I laugh, shoving him roughly. ‘’Oi!!’’ He exclaims, jumping up with wide eyes. Looking around he groans when he sees my grinning face, ‘’bloody hell James, you frightened the shite out of me’’ he hisses. Shrugging I turn around, ‘’I simply took the liberty to wake you up, that’s all’’ I say with a grin, earning another scowl. ‘’I’d be careful Potter, I know where you sleep’’ he hisses.

Scoffing I nod, ‘’I also you where you do that you prat. Now come on, you’ve been here for over two hours now!’’ ‘’Oh shite!’’ He exclaims, his eyes widening. A shush from Pince promptly following. ‘’I genuinely don’t like that woman’’ he complains.

That evening we’re sitting in the common room when Sirius groans, ‘’well I’m off to detention then. Have fun tonight, I’ll try to come on time!’’ Raising my eyes from my essay I nod, ‘’for sure.’’ ‘’Otherwise I’ll just wait outside of Dumbledore’s office or something’’ he adds with a shrug before running off with Peter.

Turning to Remus I raise my eyebrows, ‘’so what do you want to do?’’ I ask with a grin. Eyeing me Remus shrugs, ‘’I have to go too remember? I’m going home.’’ Well crap. How am I going to amuse myself?

I don’t think time has ever passed by this slow. At one point I was even counting the seconds on the clock to check. But thank got it’s finally time!!!!! Grabbing my cloak I rush down the stairs to Dumbledore’s office, leaning against the wall once I arrive to wait for either Hermione or Sirius to show up. It’s Hermione that appears first, looking resentful she tells the statue the password before stepping on the stairs. Holding my breath I slip in behind her quickly, freezing when she suddenly comes to an halt. She’s staring at the door with a frown and even glances over her shoulders at me hesitantly, in her eyes I can see she’s considering not going in.

But she takes a deep breath and mumbles something to herself before knocking on the door. ‘’Come in’’ Dumbledore says from inside. I follow in silently, moving to the side an holding my breath praying that they please, please, please don’t notice me.

‘’Hermione, good evening. Take a seat.’’ Frowning at the headmaster Hermione grimaces before lowering herself onto one of the chairs resting in front of Dumbledore’s desk. I can now visibly see how much she despises being in this room, or maybe it’s the company? ‘’What is it Albus?’’ She asks coldly and I hold my breath in tightly to hear what she’s saying. ‘’What happened that made you so nervous to have yet another unscheduled meeting?’’

He smiles in the grandfatherly way I feel like he always does, ‘’nothing happened Hermione, I jus-‘’ ‘’Stop it Albus’’ Hermione hisses, cutting him off and getting back to her feet. ‘’Tell me what happened, and tell me right now or just sod off and leave me alone.’’

Oh damn. Ooooh damn I did _not_ think Hermione was able to speak like that to Dumbledore. Her use of words has become considerably more colorful since starting Hogwarts because of Marlene and, maybe, us. But to tell the Headmaster to just sod of? That’s bold. Damn.

He stays silent for a little bit before nodding, ‘’very well’’ he mumbles, looking resigned. My eyebrows raising I glance at Hermione in surprise, why would Dumbledore give in so easily? ‘’There’s been another attack. Five deaths.’’ He informs her gravely.

All the fire Hermione had been portraying in the last minutes flying out of her with a breath as she let her body sink back on the chair. What the _hell_ is this about?!?! Don’t ask. Don’t ask. Don’t ask. Don’t open your freaking mouth. 

‘’Who?’’ Hermione whispers. Dumbledore frowns before shaking his head, ‘’it’s a classified family. The father was a ministry official, not one of high importance but high enough to know about the minister’s activities. His wife and children were either killed in the fire or before that, we’re not sure. But the father was tortured.’’

It’s like a bucket of ice cold water washes over me. ‘’How do you know he was tortured?’’ Hermione whispers, looking almost just as afraid of the answer as I am right now. ‘’They left him alive long enough to tell us about the attackers’’ Dumbledore replies, ‘’black robed men with silver masks.’’ Hermione doesn’t look surprise. I’d like to sit down.

‘’Deatheaters’’ Hermione breathes, ‘’shite.’’ Dropping her face in her hands she rubs her eyes. ‘’Do you understand why I need your progress to fasten?’’ Dumbledore asks and Hermione nods, fire lighting up in her eyes again. ‘’I understand Albus, Merlin _of course_ I understand!!’’ She exclaims, ‘’but I can’t _go_ any faster! I’m meditating every day, morning, noon, evening. I can’t do it any more than that! I can’t!’’ She cries, tears appearing in her eyes she jumps up and starts pacing.

Dragging a hand through her hair she takes a deep breath, ‘’so okay. I’ve realized I can see the people from Lestrange’s memory if I’ve met them in real life. Like his sons, for example. But the people I’ve never met are blind spots, I’m working on grasping them but… it’s hard okay? They keep slipping through my fingers, _especially_ Riddle’s!’’ She exclaims, turning to Albus she shakes her head.

‘’He must have some kind of block on it, Albus. I don’t know what he did but he’s blocking me, his strand is different. From the others I can feel them intertwine with Lestrange’s, especially after you gave me the pictures of all of the men. But with his? There’s nothing but an empty presence, an empty strand.’’

Hermione falls back down in the chair with a grimace, ‘’I don’t know what else I can do at this point, okay? I can’t d-‘’ ‘’Sorry I’m late!’’ The door opening Minnie bursts in, ‘’I had a issue with a student in detention’’ she explains before sitting down next to Hermione. What did Sirius do now?

And what the hell is Hermione talking about with memories and _strands_?! Damn it now I have even more questions! Feeling like I can just about pull my hair out I move to the door that Minnie had left open.

‘’What about the progress you made after you made up with James Potter?’’ Dumbledore asks, freezing me in my tracks. What now? What was that about me? My eyes boring into the back of Hermione’s head I wait for her to explain. At least answer _one_ question.

Shrugging she nods, ‘’yes, that progress was great and it was there because I was happy. But now I’m not moving forwards, I’m trying to learn next things but I can’t suddenly out of thin air _do_ them!!’’ She was happy? Dumbass of course she was happy! I was happy too!

Hermione sighs before rising to her feet, ‘’this meeting was in vain Albus. I’m not progressing in any way you don’t already know of. If you want to help me all you can do is get me more pictures of people you think are Deatheaters, maybe I can try and find something on them. Because it’s impossible for me to just create faces of everyone in this entire bloody world. If you can’t do that, please just let me be for a while.’’ Starting to walk straight to me she halts about a meter in front of me, allowing me to step aside quickly. ‘’The training with Abe is working though, contact him, maybe more training like that will help.’’ She offers, glancing half over her shoulders. Staring me right into the eyes, even though she can’t possibly see me. Right?

Grimacing she passes me and leaves the office without another word. Quickly I weigh my options before racing up the stairs to follow her. ‘’Sirius? Peter?’’ Oh shit. ‘’Oh hey Hermione!’’ Sirius greets, pushing himself off of the wall as Peter scrambles up.

‘’What are you guys doing here?’’ Hermione asks. Shrugging Sirius grins, ‘’Minnie told us to wait here.’’ He answers smoothly, that should work. It did. Hermione nods with a shrug before bidding them farewell and continuing to walk without even asking questions. Now if there’s ever a clear sign of her being done with everything for while than that’s the one.

Watching her go Sirius swirls around after making sure she’s absolutely gone, ‘’James?’’ He hisses. ‘’Jup’’ I reply, lifting my cloak so Sirius and Peter can quickly get under it with me. ‘’Hey! So, what’d you learn?’’ Sirius exclaims, grimacing I shake my head. ‘’I’ll tell you later, let’s get back first.’’ Walking through the hall I stop in surprise when Sirius pulls us to a sudden halt.

‘’Look’’ he mutters, pointing out of the window. What? ‘’Is that Remus?’’ Peter whispers, leaning closer with wide eyes. ‘’What is he still doing here?’’ I mutter, frowning as we watch him follow Pomfrey over the field. ‘’No clue, I thought he had to go home?’’ Sirius whispers, ‘’why is he with Pomfrey?’’ He adds in even more surprise when he’s able to identify the woman.

I blanch, ‘’not a clue’’ I mumble. ‘’Well come on then, let’s find out!’’ Sirius exclaims. Promptly dragging me and Peter down the stairs to continue running to the place we saw Remus last. Running down the path he was walking on we spot him in our surprise, ‘’did he just go into a tunnel underneath that cursed tree!?’’ I hiss.

Nodding Sirius stares at it for a moment, ‘’come on!’’ He finally exclaims, starting to drag us along again when Peter stops. ‘’You know what you guys? I’ll just stick around here okay?’’ He mutters, eyeing the tree distrustfully. Oh right, last year we wandered too close to it and he got one of the trees branches right into his… own wood?

‘’That’s fine Pete, we’ll find you later okay?’’ I nod, patting his head before letting Sirius drag me down into the tunnel. We just enter the tunnel when the tree unfreezes and glancing over my should I grimace, ‘’brilliant’’ I mutter.

Quickly we run through the tunnel and when we get out we blanch in surprise. ‘’Are we in… in the screeching shack?’’ Sirius asks, eyes wide as he looks around. Nodding I glance around, ‘’I think so…’’ Wicked! Though also… what the hell happened here? ‘’Fuck hide!’’ Sirius hisses when Pomfrey appears in the doorway. Holding our breath we duck behind a door, why had I given Peter my cloak again?

We watch her disappear in the tunnel again before sneaking over to the room she got out of. Sirius steps in immediately without a second thought, ‘’hey Remi, funny walking into you here!’’ He exclaims, ‘’needs a fix don’t you think? Maybe Marley can he-‘’ ‘’SIRIUS?!?!’’ Stepping also I grin weakly, ‘’hey?’’ ‘’JAMES?!?! Oh my, God, you have to go! Now! You have to go now!!’’ Remus exclaims. ‘’Why?’’ Sirius asks, turning to him. ‘’It’s not save okay!?! You need to go!!’’ Remus repeats, something in his voice making me agree.

‘’Come on Siri, we best get out of here’’ I mutter, it looks like there’s been a wild animal here or something… ‘’What? No, Remus what’s going on?’’ Sirius exclaims, but Remus is staring out of the window. Following his eyeline I gasp as everything falls into place. How fucking stupid are we??!?! ‘’Fuck!! We need to get the hell out of here Sirius, now!!’’ I hiss, dragging him to the door. ‘’What about Remus!?’’ Sirius exclaims, trying to pull himself free. 

Fucking hell. ‘’SIRIUS COME WITH ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW’’ I roar, finally succeeding in dragging him down back into the tunnel. ‘’It’s a damn full moon!!!’’ I shout, racing through the tunnel. ‘’Have you never realized how Remus disappears once a month?!?! Almost like _clockwork_!!’’ So fucking stupid!! ‘’I never really thought much about it… But!! He was transfixed with the moon Sirius, it totally makes sense!!’’

Arriving at the end of the tunnel I look around with wild eyes. Shit, shit, shit. ‘’Shit!! How do we get out of here?!’’ I yell, seeing the tree swing around wildly. It always gets more active at night, absolutely makes sense now I think about it!

‘’James?’’ ‘’Not now Sirius’’ I hiss, what did Pomfrey do to stop the damn tree from moving?! ‘’James?!?!’’ ‘’Shut up Sirius!!’’ Pushing his arm away from tugging mine annoyingly. ‘’JAMES!!’’ ‘’WHAT!?!’’ OoOoOoOohhh shit. ‘’FUCK’’

So the trapdoor at the end of the tunnel has definitely broken into a _lot_ of pieces. And a large creature/being/thing _definitely _fell through. A fucking wolf of course. ‘’Fuck’’ I hiss, ‘’fucking fuck it!’’ Fuck everything! Pushing myself through the hole I manage to help Sirius out before I start running like hell.

‘’RUN SIRIUS!! FUCKING RUN!!’’ Sirius curses behind me loudly before following my example. ‘’JAMES LOOK OUT!’’ His yell fills my ears right when a long thin branch sweeps out and hits me in my stomach, whipping me up and dragging me through the air. ‘’Buggering hell!!!’’ I shout, holding on to the branch for dear life. Now this is a _whole_ different feeling than flying. Out of the corner of my eyes I can see Sirius being dragged up and down through the air to crash back into the ground by a different branch and cursing about five more times I shake my head. ‘’FOR GRYFFINDOR’’ I proceed to scream, letting got of the branch and sailing through the air to crash on the ground. Gasping for air I roll on my back, blindly reaching out for my glasses. ‘’Fuck’’ ‘’JAMES!!’’ Peter yells, running over to me. The glass of one of the lenses is completely shattered but I put it back on with a groan. ‘’Buggering shite’’ I repeat.

Letting Peter help me to my feet I turn to the tree with wide eyes. In the dark hole underneath the tree two amber eyes glare at me but he seems to realize it’s immensely stupid to leave his sanctuary so he disappears inside again. Turning my eyes to Sirius I curse again, he’s rolling on the ground trying desperately to avoid some trunk from smashing him to a pile of pudding. Fucking fuck. Running over to him I stay mindful of the other branches and keep a safe distance before taking my wand out, ‘’_Vellopes_’’ I hiss, flicking my wand.

The charm easily pulls Sirius away from the tree, but clinging on to his feet he had to turn around first. The trunk missing him by a hair before he shoots towards me. ‘’Holy fucking _shite_!’’ Sirius groans, dragging a hand through his hair. ‘’You can say that again’’ I hiss, looking up with a frown when a howl fills the air.

‘’Guys?’’ ‘’I’ll explain later Pete’’ I mutter, glancing at the hill where the shack is standing. ‘’Let’s get inside’’ I mutter, ‘’yes, let’s do that.’’ Sirius breathes. Turning on our feet we run back to the castle together, sad howls following inside all the way to our dormitory where we fall on our beds out of breath and red in the face.

Shaking his head Sirius glances at me, ‘’Remus is a werewolf.’’ He mutters, ‘’Remus, fold-and-iron-my-socks is a ruddy werewolf!?! I can’t fucking believe it!’’ ‘’What?’’ Peter exclaims, turning to us with wide eyes.

‘’Oh how could we have been so unbelievably stupid?!’’ I exclaim. ‘’It was right there in front of us wasn’t it?’’ Sirius groans in agreement. ‘’Remus is a whAt?!’’ Peter exclaims again. Nodding Sirius rises and walks over to the window to open it with a frown. Hearing the howling I sit up, ‘’he sounds sad doesn’t he?’’ Sirius whispers. ‘’He does.’’

The rest of the evening we stay in silence, eventually going to bed but none of us could really close our eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop whoop, still not my world... :p

**Author's Note:**

> Rowlings world, not mine :/


End file.
